| My dad is a crackhead
You guys helped me out about 3 years ago when I didn't know where to turn. I appreciate the advice you all gave me. He has since been in rehab but it didn't work and is back to using still. I am tired of dealing with all the lies and want to get off this emotional hell of a ride. Here is an entry in my blog I thought I would share. I'm sure many of you have been in the same place as I am right now. As I type this my dad is out on the streets again...
Once a liar, always a liar?
When you know someone that lies, do they lie to everyone or just certain people? Of course for certain people, like drug users, it's a method of survival. They lie to everyone. "No, this money isn't for drugs, it's for food, gas, (insert some other ******** excuse here), I swear. I haven't used in X number of weeks." When someone you love is a drug addict it is a living hell dealing with that person. First they sneak around and use while no one knows. You notice subtle changes, such as loss of weight, change in personality, lack of interest in things that used to matter. But you dismiss them because that person would never get involved in such a thing. Then once they are found out, "it's really not a big deal. I can quit anytime. I'm not addicted like other people get." Then they loose everything, hit rock bottom, as in living on the street, sleeping in a car, or worse yet, going to jail; then they decide that maybe they do have a problem. Maybe. Just maybe rehab will help. They go and try it. Sometimes multiple times. A few succeed, but most relapse many times. A lot of addicts get stuck at this stage because at this point they have pretty much alienated everyone in their lives and no one wants anything to do with them anymore. During that time, they go through the "I swear I'm not using anymore. I'm trying to get my life back on track. I just need X amount of dollars for...(here we go again.) How do you ever believe or trust that person again? You can't. That relationship is forever changed. Forever. The question is how long do you put yourself and your family through the torment of this relationship? Yes, family is family but at what cost to your own mental health and sanity. Yes, you still truly love and care for this person, that's what makes it so hard. You will never have the same person you used to know and love back. That person you used to know is gone. They may still look like that person on the outside, but on the inside, they are a devious, manipulative, using, deceitful, dishonest, cunning, lie right to your face, addict. Forever fighting their addiction that more than likely will be the death of them in some gutter...Hope that high is worth it. Hope it's worth destroying the family you leave behind. The ones who wait for that phone call in the middle of the night. THE phone call. Thanks for the emotional hell. Love you too. | 
