It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Addiction & Recovery Message Board

  • My dad is a crackhead



  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 04-01-2008, 08:34 AM   #1
    erpeer
    Newbie
    (female)
     
    erpeer's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2006
    Location: Ohio
    Posts: 2
    erpeer HB User
    My dad is a crackhead

    You guys helped me out about 3 years ago when I didn't know where to turn. I appreciate the advice you all gave me. He has since been in rehab but it didn't work and is back to using still. I am tired of dealing with all the lies and want to get off this emotional hell of a ride. Here is an entry in my blog I thought I would share. I'm sure many of you have been in the same place as I am right now. As I type this my dad is out on the streets again...

    Once a liar, always a liar?
    When you know someone that lies, do they lie to everyone or just certain people? Of course for certain people, like drug users, it's a method of survival. They lie to everyone. "No, this money isn't for drugs, it's for food, gas, (insert some other ******** excuse here), I swear. I haven't used in X number of weeks." When someone you love is a drug addict it is a living hell dealing with that person. First they sneak around and use while no one knows. You notice subtle changes, such as loss of weight, change in personality, lack of interest in things that used to matter. But you dismiss them because that person would never get involved in such a thing. Then once they are found out, "it's really not a big deal. I can quit anytime. I'm not addicted like other people get." Then they loose everything, hit rock bottom, as in living on the street, sleeping in a car, or worse yet, going to jail; then they decide that maybe they do have a problem. Maybe. Just maybe rehab will help. They go and try it. Sometimes multiple times. A few succeed, but most relapse many times. A lot of addicts get stuck at this stage because at this point they have pretty much alienated everyone in their lives and no one wants anything to do with them anymore. During that time, they go through the "I swear I'm not using anymore. I'm trying to get my life back on track. I just need X amount of dollars for...(here we go again.) How do you ever believe or trust that person again? You can't. That relationship is forever changed. Forever. The question is how long do you put yourself and your family through the torment of this relationship? Yes, family is family but at what cost to your own mental health and sanity. Yes, you still truly love and care for this person, that's what makes it so hard. You will never have the same person you used to know and love back. That person you used to know is gone. They may still look like that person on the outside, but on the inside, they are a devious, manipulative, using, deceitful, dishonest, cunning, lie right to your face, addict. Forever fighting their addiction that more than likely will be the death of them in some gutter...Hope that high is worth it. Hope it's worth destroying the family you leave behind. The ones who wait for that phone call in the middle of the night. THE phone call. Thanks for the emotional hell. Love you too.

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 04-01-2008, 10:09 AM   #2
    Yossarian22
    Veteran
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Nov 2007
    Location: The here & now.
    Posts: 476
    Yossarian22 HB User
    Re: My dad is a crackhead

    i feel your pain erpeer - i was 'that' person. its a difficult thing to live with and watch on a daily basis, because things like love, sense, reason & logic dont work on addicts. the only word i can offer which may help is 'hope' - i dont know how long it will take for your father to come to his senses - but if you have hope - it at least gives you something to hold on to. As you're probably aware - an addict has to want to give up (REALLY give up - not just say it to loved ones to keep them sweet). My father is an alcoholic and has been my whole life - he hasnt really got long left to live. He was a big tough man - now he is withered and old before his years - sometimes 'coming to his senses' never happens.

    I will keep my fingers crossed for your father - i hope he sorts himself out soon enough to realise that he has a daughter that loves/cares & worries about him.

    take care - and look after yourself

    keep us posted

    yoss

    keep on keepin on
    __________________
    yoss

    "All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."

     
    Old 04-01-2008, 10:16 AM   #3
    TomsWife
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    TomsWife's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2003
    Posts: 715
    TomsWife HB User
    Re: My dad is a crackhead

    Erpeer,

    Wow. I felt every emotion that you must be feeling only on different level. I am an alcoholic and I know that I have put my family through horrible things. From the sound of your post it makes me wonder if your a member of Alanon. If not, you should be, you would be a great asset to the members.
    Thanks for your post.

    Your Friend,

    Marilyn
    __________________
    Never be afraid to try something new.
    Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark.
    A large group of professionals built the Titanic

    Last edited by TomsWife; 04-01-2008 at 10:17 AM.

     
    Old 04-01-2008, 11:13 AM   #4
    oldnews
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    oldnews's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2008
    Location: big city
    Posts: 45
    oldnews HB User
    Re: My dad is a crackhead

    erpeer, its horrible i know it is..you feel like if they loved you they woudnt lie to you..and they would want to stop..im sure everybody is telling you that you need to help yourself and move on without him...easier said that done huh? if hes still denying and making it sound smaller than it is..hes not ready..because you cant fix what you done acknowledge..thats what dr phil says..

     
    Old 04-01-2008, 11:14 AM   #5
    oldnews
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    oldnews's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2008
    Location: big city
    Posts: 45
    oldnews HB User
    Re: My dad is a crackhead

    i meant you cant fix what you dont acknowledge...

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    My name is Dave and I'm a crackhead davemax67 Addiction & Recovery 57 05-31-2008 05:52 PM
    living with a crackhead CyndiG Family & Friends of Addicts and Alcoholics 4 03-07-2002 05:04 AM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is On
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:32 PM.





    © 2022 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!