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    Old 04-04-2008, 07:06 PM   #1
    Krissy612
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    I think I have a drinking problem...

    Ok so long story short...
    My boyfriend and I broke up in November
    I haven't been sober a day since...
    And even though I'm over the break up I'm still drinking myself into oblivion every night. At first I didn't think it was that much of a problem, but then last week all my plans fell through and I couldn't drink for one night...

    and I started crying because I couldn't drink.


    I feel really bad about all my drinking and I even tried to get help for it, but nothings worked.
    I thought I could control it, but now whenever I drink I don't stop till I'm passed out.

    I've been taking Zoloft for a few months now and it's helped me with my depression and I haven't cut myself in months, but I just can't seem to control the drinking anymore!

     
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    Old 04-04-2008, 08:15 PM   #2
    oregon_guy
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    Re: I think I have a drinking problem...

    Krissy,

    My name is Aaron and I'm an alcoholic. I believe you are an alcoholic. The way you drink sounds like the way I drank...every night till I passed out. And by myself (Do you drink alone?). You said you became emotional when you couldnt drink for a night. Thats because you were going through withdrawals. Withdrawals usually make a person either a)panicy or anxious and/or b)very depressed. I always had panic attacks. Every time you you stop drinking the withdrawals will get worse. I've ended up in the hospital twice, once with the DT's (shakes, sweating, insomnia, blood pressure through the roof, horrible stuff) so bad I thought I was going to die (after a few days of the DT's I was wishing I would die) the second time I had a grand mal drop seizure outside our local courthouse. I was just outside the main entrance when I seized fell over backwards, knocked the metal newspaper dispenser over with my head and bled all over the sidewalk...not fun, terrifying actually.

    The fact that you realize that there is something wrong is an important step to recovery. I dont know how old you are but withdrawls can be fatal if they are bad enough. I would suggest the following:

    Go to the doctor and get a prescription for Ativan. Ativan is an antianxiety med and it has the added effect that it will keep you from having a seizure (just in case). It also make withdrawals tolerable. My Doc had no problem prescribing those to me short term. You dont want to be on them for an extended period because they are addictive. Beware, on the street ativan is called Milk of Amnesia. I had many memory gaps when I took ativan. do not drink if your taking Ativan.

    Us recovering alcoholics are everywhere, and we all want to help somebody realize sobriety. Find your nearest AA group and start going to the meetings. It's good to be around people who know exactly what you are going through and will help you without judgement or criticism. My best friends i have met in AA. I like to look at withdrawals as a war and as every soldier knows the people you are closest to are those who fight the battle alongside of you. Oh yeah..read the Big Book, you will most likely be given one at your AA meeting, along with a cool 24 hour coin (Just focus on today and do it one day at a time) I still have mine in my pocket and I rub it when I start to think about drinking (its very polished by now ). The Big Book is online, [url]http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/[/url] , read "Bill's Story" first.

    I also continue to go to one on one counseling with an addiction counselor. He helps me analyze my self and see things from a different perspective. He had me get a prescription for Camperal which works on a subconsious level to reduce cravings and reduce brain chemistry to a non drinking state, it's worked very well for me. you might want to check it out on the web.

    Most importantly, never give up, dont beat yourself up over relapses, they happen, just keep on keeping on. It will get better and you can throw that F!*#ing monkey off your back.

    This was probably more than you wanted to hear but I hope you can find some good advice in there somewhere. Sometime I think I type just to hear myself type . I'm rooting for you and so is every one here. Keep posting, this is a great place and very helpful.

    -Aaron
    __________________
    When asked if I want a drink I just tell them I can't cause I break out in spots...Reno, Vegas, odd hotel rooms. But really, they don't have enough alcohol to make it worth my while.-Fellow AA Member

    Last edited by oregon_guy; 04-05-2008 at 06:33 AM.

     
    Old 04-05-2008, 04:14 AM   #3
    TomsWife
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    Re: I think I have a drinking problem...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Krissy612 View Post
    Ok so long story short...
    My boyfriend and I broke up in November
    I haven't been sober a day since...
    And even though I'm over the break up I'm still drinking myself into oblivion every night. At first I didn't think it was that much of a problem, but then last week all my plans fell through and I couldn't drink for one night...

    and I started crying because I couldn't drink.


    I feel really bad about all my drinking and I even tried to get help for it, but nothings worked.
    I thought I could control it, but now whenever I drink I don't stop till I'm passed out.

    I've been taking Zoloft for a few months now and it's helped me with my depression and I haven't cut myself in months, but I just can't seem to control the drinking anymore!
    Hi Krissy,
    Your post makes me feel sad for you. I was in the same situation as you, drinking EVERYDAY. My life was totally unmanagable. I cared for no one except the bottle. I drank a 1.5 liter of whiskey every two days. I would wake up feeling like crap and make a drink and drank till I passed out. I would get up and start all over. I've embarrased myself, family and friends. At the end of my drinking career, I drank at home, alone and totally isolated myself.
    My house and relationship with my family and husband was a disaster. The sad part is that I didnt care. The bottle made sure of that. I kept loosing jobs because staying home and drinking was more important to me. Plus, I physically could not stop drinking. I can honestley say that the drinking was killing me and I KNEW it. Most days, my liver would hurt and I continued to drink EVERYDAY anyway.
    If you would like to know more of my story, hit me up on this thread and I would be glad to share.
    My suggestion to you Krissy, is to start by looking up a AA speaker meeting (usually 2-3 people share thier story of alcoholism) in your area. AA is saving my life today. Going to a AA open discussion meeting (anyone can speak about themself) can be overwhelming for some. There are certain things that alcoholics MUST do to keep thier sobriety. At a speaker meeting, you simply sit there and listen. At a open discussion meeting, you do not have to speak, you can also just sit and listen.
    I'm not the one to tell you that you are an alcoholic. Thats something that you have to explore.
    There is a saying in AA that goes something like this, If you think you have a drinking problem, come to a few meetings with us. If after a few meetings you dont think you have a drinking problem, your free to go back out and we will gladly refund your misery.
    Krissy, there is so much more that I would like to share with you. I know exactley how you are feeling. Your not alone. There are tons of people that are in the same situation as you. The only difference is thier story that got them there.
    I hope you post again.

    Your Friend,
    Marilyn
    __________________
    Never be afraid to try something new.
    Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark.
    A large group of professionals built the Titanic

     
    Old 04-05-2008, 08:35 PM   #4
    Angiejr2
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    Re: I think I have a drinking problem...

    (((Krissy and Marilyn)))

    It is amazing that you both share my same story Especially what you described Marilyn---I was soooo much like that. My poison was the cheap vodka, thinking that it would not be as damaging as the 80 proof garb. Right---a toxin is a toxin. Taking that one drink sent me into a 3-4 day binge, too afraid of getting sober for how sick I would be, so it continued more than I wanted it to. Till finally I would say I just can't do this anymore, usually on the 4th day---and yes I was really,really sick. I should not have stopped like that, I should have gotten medical help, but I figured I done this so many times, I can do it again. Then I had heart palputations that would not quit on my last binge. I was panicking so badly, I almost passed out, I was sweating shaking---throwing up,I thought I was going to die---I was dying. Yet I was too ashamed to call for help, so I prayed and kept trying to stop the palputations. God heard me and they stopped, but I was still very sick. I won't be so lucky if I drink again, for God was sending a message and so was my body----ENOUGH!!!! This disease is truly cunning and baffling, once we start feeling good, and everything is going great, it calls us back and we answer. By the grace of God---not this time!!! I am not going to answer the call of alcohol anymore, it is not going to kill me. Hell it wasn't even fun drinking near the end...infact it was pure hell, so why do we do this? I isolated bigtime, avoided all those who I hold so dearly to my heart, lost contact with my siblings---why---just to be a drunkard---a useless--hopeless drunkard. May we all be strong to withstand the power of alcohol. Kelly stick around here and we can and will support you, but sweety you need ftf along with this board.

    Positive thoughts!

    ~Angie
    __________________
    ~Angie

     
    Old 04-06-2008, 05:10 AM   #5
    TomsWife
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    Re: I think I have a drinking problem...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Angiejr2 View Post
    (((Krissy and Marilyn)))

    It is amazing that you both share my same story Especially what you described Marilyn---I was soooo much like that. My poison was the cheap vodka, thinking that it would not be as damaging as the 80 proof garb. Right---a toxin is a toxin. Taking that one drink sent me into a 3-4 day binge, too afraid of getting sober for how sick I would be, so it continued more than I wanted it to. Till finally I would say I just can't do this anymore, usually on the 4th day---and yes I was really,really sick. I should not have stopped like that, I should have gotten medical help, but I figured I done this so many times, I can do it again. Then I had heart palputations that would not quit on my last binge. I was panicking so badly, I almost passed out, I was sweating shaking---throwing up,I thought I was going to die---I was dying. Yet I was too ashamed to call for help, so I prayed and kept trying to stop the palputations. God heard me and they stopped, but I was still very sick. I won't be so lucky if I drink again, for God was sending a message and so was my body----ENOUGH!!!! This disease is truly cunning and baffling, once we start feeling good, and everything is going great, it calls us back and we answer. By the grace of God---not this time!!! I am not going to answer the call of alcohol anymore, it is not going to kill me. Hell it wasn't even fun drinking near the end...infact it was pure hell, so why do we do this? I isolated bigtime, avoided all those who I hold so dearly to my heart, lost contact with my siblings---why---just to be a drunkard---a useless--hopeless drunkard. May we all be strong to withstand the power of alcohol. Kelly stick around here and we can and will support you, but sweety you need ftf along with this board.

    Positive thoughts!

    ~Angie
    Angie and Krissy,
    Angie, thanks for sharing part of your story. Yes, we are very alike in our drinking careers. About a year and a half ago, I detoxed from alcohol at home, by myself, my husband was in Boston. Very bad idea. I had all the symptoms you discribed along with audio and visual halucinations (sp). Scarey stuff.
    This time, I knew I could not detox at home. Alcohol is one of two drugs that you can die from while detoxing. This time I knew I needed medical help. I went to a facility and detoxed there for 5 days. I knew there was no other way!
    It is so true about alcoholism being a progressive disease. When I got sober last time, I did have a little post accute withdrawl sysmptoms (PAWS). This time, holy crap! Do a search on PAWS if your not familiar with the symptoms. They include loss of short term memory, unbalanced walking, sweats, unable to put words together, thought process interuppted to name a few. On Easter Sunday, when I saw my husband after a goup counceling session, I said, "Hi honey, Happy Thanksgiving". I can laugh about that today, but those few weeks when I was really bad, it scared the hell out of me. I know that I will recover and am doing much better today. I also know that I have a long way to go physically and spiritually. If I go back out, I know that I will die. Like I said in my first post, God and AA is saving my life.
    I'd like to talk to you both more. Stay in touch ok?

    Love,
    Marilyn
    __________________
    Never be afraid to try something new.
    Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark.
    A large group of professionals built the Titanic

    Last edited by TomsWife; 04-06-2008 at 05:11 AM.

     
    Old 04-07-2008, 01:50 PM   #6
    TomsWife
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    Re: I think I have a drinking problem...

    Hi Krissy,
    I was just reading some of the other posts from today and started to wonder how you were doing. Hope you are ok

    Marilyn
    __________________
    Never be afraid to try something new.
    Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark.
    A large group of professionals built the Titanic

     
    Old 04-08-2008, 03:37 PM   #7
    Krissy612
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    Re: I think I have a drinking problem...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TomsWife View Post
    Hi Krissy,
    I was just reading some of the other posts from today and started to wonder how you were doing. Hope you are ok

    Marilyn
    Hi guys!!!
    Thanks for the support and the advice. It really means a lot that there are actually people out there who care and are willing to take the time to listen to me.

    I was in a mental hospital in Jan. and they set me up with an AA program, but I never followed through with it. BAD IDEA! I know there is a place down the street from me that has AA meetings. I'm gonna go sign myself up the first chance I get. =]

    I've gotten myself into so much trouble from drinking this past week. I drank every night and didn't come home till noon the next day. Then I slept till 5pm and went out and did it again and again. I'm only 18 and I still live with my dad so I'm grounded right now... but I guess that's a good thing because I won't be able to go out and drink.

    I'm gonna go look up the Big Book right now!

    Hope you guys are doing well,
    Krissy

     
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