It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Addiction & Recovery Message Board

  • need help here PLEASE



  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 06-02-2008, 08:16 AM   #61
    eldogg
    Member
    (male)
     
    eldogg's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2008
    Location: canada
    Posts: 56
    eldogg HB User
    Re: need help here PLEASE

    hey to all and mornin.
    first has ani1 had probs with the quick reply on this site cause i had a longer post ready to post and it vanished into thin air?beats me.
    i would like to say that I don't feel like i belong in the nut house i have seen what its like there and i am not nuts and there are peps that need to be there so it would be a wast of bed on me,the way i see it.[i am depressed but don't belong there]
    I can't believe that the detox goes on priority only,I am taking up to now 800-900mgs a day and the tell me that i am not enough of a priority.I know needle users,and i get just as sick sometimes more sick then they do 'cause i have been using for 5-6 years heavy.jerry you don't want to know what i am thinking and to be truthful i really don't think it is appropiate for this site,but bro you wouldn't believe the thoughts running through my mind over what the detox said to me and these are to be the people that are going to be helping me,or suppose to be anyway,they 'aint been much so far and that is disscomforting to think about.
    coldlev,thank you so very much for the offer of a shoulder to cry on and i am sure i will need it,but all i ask now is that you just be here for me to spill my guts to once in a while,it helps more than some people know.
    about the NA meeting thing its 35-45 miles to the nearest town or city and our gas is 1.50 a liter so how am i supposed to afford to travel that far to a meeting not to shoot the idea down i would if i could when i was last in rehab for stimulant addiction i religiously attended NA but could not when i returned home.
    i really don't know what suboxone is ,[be sure i will google it]but if i am correct its a drug that blocks the opiate receptor so you can't get high but also keeps natural opiate levels rite so no withdrawl,rite or wrong?in any case we have a drug like that here in canada its called methadone and there is a 3 year waiting list for that,so,thats out of the question i guess.
    Reach i will never give up hope of a clean life and am longing for it so much its all I think about sometimes that and drugs/morph:,you your self give me so much hope and drive or determination to succed at this,your words are truely inspirational.
    i have said it bedore and i wi;; say it again i hane gotten more support from this site and its folks than i have gotten from any NA meeting or i some cases from some of my family,and for that i am truely appretiative and forever grateful.so big HUGZ to you all and i will never forget any of you.
    is it normal when addicted,i mean did any1 else feel like they wish the last 10 years of your life/addiction was a dream and you could just wake up from it and it be all over?thats how i feel most days,and it makes me real sad sometimes to know that there are people out there that think a life like this isn't worth living and that consider people like us dirt or lesser persons,i feel sorry for those people for some odd reason and don't know why its strange,does tha last bit make sense to you guys?
    P.S"Reach you hit it rite when you said when in doubt post it out,it looks like i really took that to heart here,lol*smile* i check in often and read sometimes at odd hours,and wee hours and it helps some-what.so xox and good day and nite to all.
    __________________
    eldogg:

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 06-02-2008, 04:35 PM   #62
    eldogg
    Member
    (male)
     
    eldogg's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2008
    Location: canada
    Posts: 56
    eldogg HB User
    Re: need help here PLEASE

    hellooooo every1 I am so happy rite now and it may only be false hope but one of the nurses at my local detox center said if I want a bed there then I should call at 8:30-9:00 am tomorrow 'cause they are going to be calling people to schedule beds for the treatment program they offer,I am so looking forward to the morning I hope I do get in.
    Reach i took your advice and called them alot today and i mean alot,they may take me just to shut me up and i pray they do for my sake.
    tomorrow may be dissapointing but if I am persistant enough it may not be,if they take me in you will all know cause i won't post if I don't post please say a prayer for me and wish me luck,but don't hesitate to post untill then cause i am up almost all nite long.HUGZ all,and I got the biggest *smile* on my face rite now and does it feels good although i know i may not get in it feels great to know i am a bit closer to a better life,and heres to it,a nice cold one when i get out,lol.
    TTFN,nite nite all
    __________________
    eldogg:

     
    Old 06-02-2008, 06:02 PM   #63
    reachout
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2006
    Posts: 3,409
    reachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB User
    Re: need help here PLEASE

    El!

    My man, my man! Offered up my first prayer that this works out for you before I began to type. I hope this comes to be for you. I know it is going to happen when the time is exactly right for you.... even when things seem to interefere with the time schedules we think best, stuff usually happens when it should for a reason. I sure am hoping that it the time for you, Buddy.

    I had to smile myself when I read that you were smiling. I can almost picture you in my mind's eye. Ah, the hope, the promise of so much hope... it is exciting, isn't it? And that hope becomes a reality for us as we work into recovery and restoration. So much good in life is waiting with your name on it, El. So much.

    I am thinking maybe it is a good time to gather up afew things so that when the okay comes, you will be ready ( like you are not ready now, chuckles!). Get a few clothes washed and set aside and think about what toilertries you will need. I think this is going to be a life-changing time way from home for you. Smiles.

    In my heart and prayers
    reach

    PS... "When in doubt, post it out..." Thank Phoenix for those words... it is his signature! I love it.

    Last edited by reachout; 06-02-2008 at 06:06 PM.

     
    Old 06-03-2008, 05:40 AM   #64
    eldogg
    Member
    (male)
     
    eldogg's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2008
    Location: canada
    Posts: 56
    eldogg HB User
    Thumbs up Re: need help here PLEASE

    G'morning all,hope you all are as good as me,still have a big smile this morning even though detox told me that i may have to wait at least a week or two.
    I hope all the peps in there get the help they need and they aren't just abusing the system,as i have seen them do before just for three squares a day and a place to stay[hey that rhymes cool]lol.anyway just thought I'd check in a say yo so YO,no matter what now i am going to try and be happy with my situation 'cause i know that help will come calling literally in time and i will be here ready to go.
    I have also looked into a long term treatment facility and am not sure if i need that much extensive care or maybe i am just 'B.Sin' myself,i don't know.
    so heres to a nice bright sunny day think i might take advantage of it a bit and do some yard work or something,anything to keep me busy and pass the time.
    P.S:thanks Reach for your thoughts it was a very nice post to read when i first got up,and i even did get some stuff ready 'cause in the rush to get to detox that is the one and most important thing i was forgetting,I wasn't even packed to go and i need to buy some stuff today.thanks for ringing my bell.
    __________________
    eldogg:

     
    Old 06-03-2008, 07:12 AM   #65
    jerry111165a
    Veteran
    (male)
     
    jerry111165a's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2007
    Location: Backwoods Maine. USA
    Posts: 375
    jerry111165a HB User
    Re: need help here PLEASE

    G'morning,E!

    I must say I am really pleased with your upbeat attitude throughout this. You;re putting a smile on my fae right now,just knowing that you are giving this your best and going at it with the best possible attitude we can have in a negative situation.
    Or maybe this isnt a negative situation...this is actually a good situation for you after all of this time of negativity you are making the right move in a positive direction...*smile*

    The time before you get into the detox will fly by, my friend, so like Reach says, be ready for it...
    I have no doubt with the mentality that you are going at this with that you will do well, and soon we will be talking about the past negatives and the future positives...Soon you will be ok, E, I have no doubt about it.

    Continue to hang in there. Soon you will be looking at life in a much different perspective. Have faith.Dont forget to keep praying as much as you can. It worked so well for me, anyhow.

    *hugs*

    jerry.

     
    Old 06-03-2008, 02:40 PM   #66
    eldogg
    Member
    (male)
     
    eldogg's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2008
    Location: canada
    Posts: 56
    eldogg HB User
    Re: need help here PLEASE

    hey Jerr hows it goin ?good here so far.i'd ask about work but thats a four letter word best left unsaid,LOL.I really figure i ought to do the best i can until the time comes to beat this thing,my use hasn't slowed but man i tell yous it will when i go in,oh yeah.
    its hard sometimes to keep such a positive attitude in such a negative lifestyle, but i realize now that,that is essential in the process of me getting better.
    And I know i have a lot of work ahead of me and a lot of thought processes that have to change for this to work,and am committed to making it.
    Now is when i am going to need this site and you guys the most, the next week or two may be rough on me mentally and having someone who knows what to expect and what to say to support me will help a whole lot, i imagine.
    I think what is going to keep me up beat about this is knowing I have already lost everything,and now what can i lose by trying and hoping,nothing thats what,and i don't think i would've gotten this far without you,Jerry,and Reach,and all others who dropped a line of encouragement or insight.
    so nite nite all and TTFN
    __________________
    eldogg:

     
    Old 06-03-2008, 06:51 PM   #67
    coldlevinexi
    Newbie
    (female)
     
    coldlevinexi's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2008
    Location: Atl
    Posts: 9
    coldlevinexi HB User
    Re: need help here PLEASE

    Losing everything is just a second chance to start over. Some people find it freeing, and I know it has a lot of negative sides to it too. Just looking at the bright side
    I cannot believe how well you're taking this, and that you're actually the one wanting help so bad. The first time I went into treatment I had to be dragged kicking and screaming, so props to you for that. ...That was actually the second time, the first time I went quietly because ... haha well nvm.
    Can't wait to see how things turn out for you, so just keep us all posted. Hope it all goes as well as it can go.
    __________________
    ~ X there are some places you can't come back from X ~

     
    Old 06-04-2008, 06:53 AM   #68
    eldogg
    Member
    (male)
     
    eldogg's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2008
    Location: canada
    Posts: 56
    eldogg HB User
    Re: need help here PLEASE

    hey,Cold I nevr thought of losing it all as a second chance,those are very smart words and i think i will adopt that outlook that will help with keeping me up-beat,thanks.
    About wanting the help and taking it so well, I figure I am now worth it and want it more than anything in this world,I have finally accepted my situation by that I mean I now know that I cann't kick my addiction by myself and to keep trying that way is lying to myself,and that only cheats me.I have gone through rehab programs before and even finished a detox program when i was 15-16 somewhere around there,but the diff: then was I didn't want the help and then abused the program by having drugs and taking them while i was there every time,so no good was done,it was a cycle really now that i look at it.
    So i think this time i should at least try i owe it to myself for the good life i cheated myself out of and the remaining friends and family that still care for me.
    And now cause of some stuff in my life and the help of the good folks here on this site i have gained the courage to help myself which is what i was lacking,i think anyway.lol
    well i guess a rainy day is good for a good book so i must go and get into one,i have been trying to find new thingts to fill my time up so when i get out of detox i can sub: them in the place of my morphine,hopefuly.so big HUGZ all and good day.
    __________________
    eldogg:

     
    Old 06-04-2008, 08:14 AM   #69
    jerry111165a
    Veteran
    (male)
     
    jerry111165a's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2007
    Location: Backwoods Maine. USA
    Posts: 375
    jerry111165a HB User
    Re: need help here PLEASE

    I truly believe that there is a reason for everything.

    I think that maybe by losing everything you might be looking at this in a different way, whereas if you had not lost everything this would not seem as severe and you would not be taking it as seriously as you are.

    I also think that you are being very,very smart in getting proffessional help on this. This is what they do, they do it everyday and know what we need more often than not more than we know what we need. letting proffessionals handle this the way they know that works is indeed a good thing.

    You are still very young.(relatively). When you beat this soon just think of the REST OF YOUR LIFE that you can enjoy without the negatives that you are facing now. i feel the same way about this with myself. There is so much to live for and do and people to love and share JOY. You will see how quickly your mind will be smiling once your body is clean again.

    YOU CAN DO THIS> Never lose faith.

    jerry.

     
    Old 06-05-2008, 04:26 PM   #70
    eldogg
    Member
    (male)
     
    eldogg's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2008
    Location: canada
    Posts: 56
    eldogg HB User
    Re: need help here PLEASE

    hey Jerr:, and i think you are rite about losing it all,if i wouldn't have maybe i would not be where i am something to think about for sure!'cause if this was 1 1/2-2 years ago i would not have given a crap,so something must have changed.
    I know to that i am going to have to change a lot of thought processes for this to work and i am committed to making it work PERIOD.and i can contribute it to some things in my life and this site,theres going to be a heck of a lot of things i will need to change,cause my whole life for years has circled around this and other drugs so much so that i forget what it is like to be sober and man its scary and i am not sure how to deal with that part,its just so overwhelming,almost gives me a panic attack.
    with getting professional help,i finally see i cann't do it on my own and that was like a light went off,....BING, and listening to you guys about telling fam: an doc lifted a big weight off my chest it felt like i had nothing to hide any more and that makes a difference,believe it or not,and most people that haven't gone through this don't,thats what makes it so easy to post to all you cause i can tell you have been there,only how some1 who uses can.
    its been so long time since i could see the forest for the trees, and man now that the light has hit that forest it is B-E-Autiful and i love what i see in the future,[i think Reach rubbed off on me,real good thing it did]LOL.
    After this i am going to take the bull by the horns and fight for my future and my well being,along with those i love.i think they deserve it and so do i after this long,if i had to describe addiction i would say its like fighting with your self,inside,everyday and it gets stressful,you try to make the rite choise but its like there is another you in there and wants different things and he has more will power and determination to take the drugs,so he prevails.if that makes sense,does it?but gotta go have a beer with an old friend,have a good nite all,sleep tight
    __________________
    eldogg:

     
    Old 06-05-2008, 06:30 PM   #71
    jerry111165a
    Veteran
    (male)
     
    jerry111165a's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2007
    Location: Backwoods Maine. USA
    Posts: 375
    jerry111165a HB User
    Re: need help here PLEASE

    How much longer until they let you in the rehab/detox?

    jerry

     
    Old 06-05-2008, 06:42 PM   #72
    eldogg
    Member
    (male)
     
    eldogg's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2008
    Location: canada
    Posts: 56
    eldogg HB User
    Re: need help here PLEASE

    hey jerr , i do not know when first they tell me its priority then its i am at the bottom of the list and it will be 1-2weeks they kinda won't give me a straight answer.it makes me want to go rite in and freak out at them and show them how addicted i am,but would that be a good idea do you think?

    p.s i feel as though i need help more each day and,..... bro is it ever eatin' at me i can tell you i have no one to talk to and tryin to keep an up-beat attitude is gettin thin,real thin!!!any advice PLEASE,it changes so fast one min; happy the next upset real bad this addiction SUCKS big time,really have a hard time to put up w/ myself and like myself for that matter right now its real hard.
    __________________
    eldogg:

    Last edited by eldogg; 06-05-2008 at 06:54 PM.

     
    Old 06-06-2008, 03:52 AM   #73
    jerry111165a
    Veteran
    (male)
     
    jerry111165a's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2007
    Location: Backwoods Maine. USA
    Posts: 375
    jerry111165a HB User
    Re: need help here PLEASE

    If I were you and really wanted to quit, I would at the very least start tapering slowly. Remember, this is only going to help you even in the detox center. The less you have to come off of in there the better for you. I know it sucks but yeah, it is going to. I'm not going to sugar coat it for you because I know that you know better.
    I know that you said you cant do this on your own, but what is keeping you from very slowly taking just a bit less? Right now I am of the opinion that you need to help yourself some,too, but then again, this is only my opinion which really doesnt mean diddly.

    How bad do you want to quit?

    I'm not trying to be mean here, by any means, and apologize if i am coming across like that. I just know that the bottom line here, whether you use the detox center or not, is that this is still going to come down to YOU.
    I do agree, you will need professionals to help you thru this, and afterwards.
    But right now, if you want to quit you need to take that first step and dont look back.

    Just remember, the more you can cut back now, slowly of course, the easier this will be on you in the days/weeks/months to come.

    Good luck, God bless and keep posting.

    jerry.

     
    Old 06-07-2008, 07:58 AM   #74
    eldogg
    Member
    (male)
     
    eldogg's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2008
    Location: canada
    Posts: 56
    eldogg HB User
    Re: need help here PLEASE

    I agree w/ you and starting today i am back to tryin to do it myself by cutting back even if it kills me,how hard can it be if i really want it,to cut 100mgs a day out of my habbit,i already stoped takin them at nite when i am up so now i gotta try to cut some through the day,just need to determin which one i can most go w/out,soon as i do its history.in the morning is the worst and feel i will not go w/out that one for a while yet,but will sometime i guess.
    __________________
    eldogg:

     
    Old 06-07-2008, 09:27 AM   #75
    reachout
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2006
    Posts: 3,409
    reachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB User
    Re: need help here PLEASE

    Hello El

    I really like Jerry's thoughts about starting to cut yourself back and am happy that you seem to accept it as a piece of your plan.

    I know you are disappointed that rehab is a little iffy timewise. More rehab centers and available beds sure would be a great thing in this country. I don't believe the rehab center is trying to run you around at all, but just simply dealing with their own logistics. Their schedules of availablity are often not in sync with our schedules of wanting to get in. Sometimes their beds are filled by court-ordered instructions. And sometimes beds open unexpectedly because a client decides to not participate or leaves early.

    While rehab is a wanted and needed part of your plan, it does not have to be the only part of your plan. Starting a tapering now seems like a good part to a plan for you. Attending NA meetings now also seems like it would be a good part. We really have to be totally proactive in getting ourselves moving in many ways as we fight to gain sobriety. You have already started by cutting out that nightime dose... good for you. Proactive work! Continue working on that and start getting support now from live people. Social service counseling is another step you can take now. Rehab will be a huge help for you, but in no way do you need to sit and suffer as you wait for that opportunity to materialize. Lots of things you can do as you wait. get the NA Big Book and start reading it and working it. Do all you can to keep the momentum going for yourself. Work it, El. Push it.

    Keep posting and we will help you keep moving forward. There is strength in sharing.

    Hugs
    reach

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Need info, friend in ICU Ladytaxi Lung & Respiratory Disorders / COPD 7 04-25-2010 01:32 AM
    made mistake, need advice regret Relationship Health 43 03-25-2006 09:32 AM
    I'm new here and I need some help... GinaMia Addiction & Recovery 75 10-29-2005 06:02 AM
    Taking 10 Norco per day, need HELP! stillfromny Addiction & Recovery 7 10-25-2004 10:32 AM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is On
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:13 PM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!