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  • The Headache

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    Old 08-16-2008, 10:12 PM   #1
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    The Headache

    It started Thursday morning when I got up and found my 12 yr old cat had died a few hours before I got up. I knew it was coming because he was diabetic and I'd been giving him insulin and spent thousands keeping him alive the past 6 yrs. I decided to stop his insulin and let nature take it's course. I have other cats that need vet attention. He was laying on my living room floor eyes open, still warm. I called my husband at work and he said he was still hanging in there & petted him for awhile before leaving for work a few hours before I got up. Needless to say, I was a crying mess. I couldn't call out of work because we had 2 people out on vacation already and were swamped. I went into work, crying and with the start of the most awful headache I've ever had. It was relentless, not matter what I took. I could not sleep or eat for 2 days all the while working with it at a frantic pace with over time. It was horrible.

    So, I got up with the same blazing headache this morning after about 3 hrs sleep and simply could not take it anymore. Went to an express care and got 20 Lortab for the culprit - tension headache. So, now I have my old beast and buddy, hydrocodone. more headache! I ate for the first time in days and actually felt pretty good. Hubby and I went out in the boat and i
    relaxed, enjoyed the sunset, stars and a beautiful full moon on a clear calm night. I've taken 2 Lortab every six hours and have to say I've felt the best I've felt in some time.

    That's the problem. I know I need them right now, but probably, with some luck, won't need them maybe even tomorrow. Ohh, but they'll call my name.
    I know in my head exactly how many I have and will obsess over them until they're gone. I won't be able to leave them alone and hold onto them for another pain event like normal people. For me, when they're gone, they're gone. I don't have access to them so no worries of a physical addiction. Am I glad I got them? Yeah. My head doesn't hurt anymore and I feel good. But I also feel bad. I am an addict.


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    Old 08-17-2008, 10:23 AM   #2
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    Re: The Headache

    Hi Granny

    You are right when you write about always being an addict and because of that, we need to always be aware when we do have a need for meds. I am not going to preach or judge, Friend, but just share some of the ways I have learned to deal with times like you have had.

    First off, I am very sorry that you have lost your kitty your friend that I am sure cared for you with the same love you showed in your care for him. I have a cat... Calvin.. 17+ years old and a total family member. There is certainly great grief when we lose a loved one.. human or otherwise. Sad Smiles.

    When we are carrying a grief in our hearts, all of life's other annoyances ( like crazy days at work) are potentiated and become magnified. You sure were in the right conditions for a tension headache to develop and develop big time. However, Granny, and I say this gently.... tension headaches do not equate with a need for Loratab. It equates with a need to relax muscles tightened by anxiety and heightened by a lack of eating properly in a tension filled time.

    So, what can we do in these situations, because they will arise again at times in life. We arm ourselves before hand with alternatives to the popping of a pill which we have embedded in our minds as the only solution. The first alternative I see that could have worked was a quiet massage that would have calmed the tense muscles that were the root of the headache. In the time it takes to go to a walk-in clinic, see a doctor, get a script, go get the script and take it, a full massage could have been received and eased so greatly the headache. A soothing bath, quiet music, a calm walk... all these things could have enhanced a massage and better the whole body's calmness.

    Of course there are times when we truly need pain meds for severe times. However, as our sober thinking grows, we learn to retrain the thinking inits evaluation of when the meds are truly needed and when the situation can allow for alternatives that can work just as well.

    Another gentle thought, Granny.... the obsessing over the pills can stop immediately if they are destroyed and disposed of. If we have a thorn in our hand, we do't sit and obsess over the pain of it.... we get rid of the thorn.

    Oh, Granny Girl... embedding sober thinking into our noggins is a process that takes time and continual work. Like any education, the more info we seek out, the more we realize how much we have yet to learn.

    Keep seeking new ways to think, keep growing and learning.


    Old 08-17-2008, 11:17 AM   #3
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    Re: The Headache

    Hi Reach,

    Thank you for your reply. I know you are right. I'm geared to look for pain relief in the form of a pill. I have been since I had a hysterectomy 3 yrs ago. My mind does such horrible things to my body. I cannot sleep, even with the Lortab. I finally slept from 5am to 10am and woke up with this headache again. I've never experienced head pain like this and nothing seems to knock me out. It might ease up some if I could just get some sleep.

    I wish I could get a massage. I'm one of those people that does not like to be touched. Strangers touching me like that gives me chills. Our company paid for 2 massage therapists to come into our office and give everyone those massages in the chair. I tried but could not tolerate it. I finally told the poor girl, please stop. It's not you, it's me. LOL

    Anyway, I'm considering today a sick day. I am going to try and take it easy and hope I can beat this beast of a headache. I really appreciate your words of wisdom and will take all your advise to heart.



    Old 08-17-2008, 06:18 PM   #4
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    Re: The Headache

    Hello Granny....Sorry to hear about your cat. As a fellow cat lover, I feel your pain. Our pets can often be our best friends.

    Glad you were able to fight off your headache....I feel your pain there too as someone who gets them chronically. It sounds as if you could have legitimate pain issues. I know you characterize some of your behavior as an "addict", but I'll be honest, when you suffer from debilitating pain, such as tension headaches, your body will "crave" relief, not necessarily the med. Because you know the hydro works, you then crave it specifically. I would encourage you to look into this as it may help in the long run...Just a though.

    Take care, and I hope things improve for you Granny.



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