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Desperate. Please read my story.




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Old 12-04-2008, 03:56 AM   #1
cam724
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Unhappy Desperate. Please read my story.

I sit here at 540 am with such sadness and sorrow. I am at a loss, or maybe I am lost. I dont even know. To make the story brief: I had a c section may 2006, they gave me percocet. (i could probably end my story there, huh?) well needless to say because of a horrible pregnancy, i developed major back problems. 2 herniations t3 t4, l5 s1. spinal stenosis, major degenerative disc disease. all with nerve compression. so i was able to obtain percocet up until this very day. started with 5/325 here and there, then i needed 2, to 3 at a time. my doc even upped it to 7.5/500 3 times a day. please understand that i have legit chronic, excruciating back pain, every day. i have been everywhere, 2 or 3 pain clinics, rehab, PT, chiro, neurologist, you name it. so i get 90 a month and guess what they are gone in a week. story familiar? i am 28 yrs old, mother of a 2 and 5 year old. Let me stress, i do not want my family to know. i cannot seek help and let this be known. No one would ever expect this from me. Why is it that when i take these horrible creatures, i dont even fell well. i actually feel better and have more energy when i dont take them, that is, until the WD's kick in. Oh God, what have i done?? I just woke up out of a dead sleep, should still be sleeping, but something told me to come here. so i listened. just so i make it clear i take around 2 to 2 1/2, 7.5's, 3 to 4 times a day. what a disgrace!! i would rather stay in my house, and be "relaxing" than go anywhere, is that normal??
so as i sit here with tears running down my face, help. what do i do? how do i keep my pain down too?

please any advice or just words will help, i hope.

Last edited by mod-anon; 12-04-2008 at 10:26 AM. Reason: removed profession

 
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Old 12-04-2008, 05:00 AM   #2
CTguy2054
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Re: Desperate. Please read my story.

Your situation is very familiar to me. I have had stomach pain for years and been addicted to pain killers since 2003. I am day 6 Sober......The pain may be worse in your mind then it actually is, but your body screams out for the drugs over small amts of pain. Im not saying you dont have it, but you may be able to control it with less medication if you can kick the addiction. I started on Suboxone Monday and am doing great and Im already feeling more in control of my situation. I started out like you did and recently found myself taking sometimes more then 20 percocet or vicodin in a day. But it started years ago with, "whats a few pills gonna hurt". Ive lost one job, but I am stopping the cycle before i lose my family and my career. You can do this, not for your husband or even your kids, but you need to do this for you. Coming on here was a first step towards recovery. I was new here a couple weeks ago and I already feel like a different person, but im still a recovering addict and that will never change. I would talk to your doctor who writes your narcotic scripts about Soboxone, but you have to be totally honest with them if you want help. I think most doctors when you tell them of your addiction and want to quit, are happy to help you out. Keeping this a secret must be eating you up inside. You might need to go public with them though for the support you may need, so you might want to try to prepare for that. I hope this helps at least a little. but NO, YOUR NOT THE ONLY ONE.....and welcome, best of luck to you!

 
Old 12-04-2008, 09:36 AM   #3
TaCot
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Re: Desperate. Please read my story.

Boy, do I know those feelings. Take some deep breaths. I too, decided a month ago to get off of these pills. I am tapering down slowly. I went to my PCP and confessed everything to her and she was very understanding. She is the one that suggested that I taper down and NOT stop cold turkey. I would speak with your doctor and see what he/she suggests you do. I went through a similar weekend that you are talking about. Not sleeping and feeling like I was a terrible person and worthless. You are NOT a bad person, you just have an addiction. You are also a strong person and can do this once you decide to. I have to tell myself everyday that I can do this and talking with people on this board help tremendously. You are never alone and we can all relate to how you feel. Take care and try and get in to see your doctor. You will feel better once you make that step. My doctor told me, after I told her everything, that I had made the first step, and that was admitting that I had the problem. You are in my thoughts and prayers. TaCot

 
Old 12-12-2008, 12:01 AM   #4
grinch13
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Re: Desperate. Please read my story.

Do the taper thing. Cold turkey is too punishing. And yes, I've been down this road and am in the middle of tapering off oxycontins as I write this. What I have been doing is limiting the number of times I do them per week. I used to do them nearly every day. Now, since last friday, I have used them twice. After a couple of days of not using, I kind feel bad, but not too bad (I haven't missed any work, for example). Next week I will use just once and after that I think I'll be OK. If you use 7 days a week, starting next week, use 6 days. Folowing week, use 5 and so on. I personally think this is the way to go, but make no mistake - everyone is different. What works for me may not work for you. But I think its worth a try. Good luck

 
Old 12-21-2008, 05:35 PM   #5
mabent
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Re: Desperate. Please read my story.

Hi - I have the same suggestion as Grinch - to taper off the Percocet. I had the same problem with Valium. When a new doctor refused to give me a renewal for a Valium prescription, I thought I could just quit 'cold turkey' because I was only taking 1 a night for sleep. However, I found that I was addicted! So, with the pills I had left, I began to take one every two nights just to keep the w/d at bay. Then, I would wait until I felt 'edgy' and take one then. Finally, I could stop the symptoms by taking just 1/2 tablet, etc.
I think it took about two weeks to taper off this way, but it was painless (so to speak!). Of course, the best thing to do is to talk to your doctor, but if you are reluctant to do this, then if you really want to stop taking them - and you definitely should stop - then I think you'll find that the tapering off method will work well. Percocet is not as strong a drug as Oxycontin, so it shouldn't be as difficult to discontinue. Good luck! Mabent

 
Old 01-02-2011, 11:44 PM   #6
EVon01
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Re: Desperate. Please read my story.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cam724 View Post
I sit here at 540 am with such sadness and sorrow. I am at a loss, or maybe I am lost. I dont even know. To make the story brief: I had a c section may 2006, they gave me percocet. (i could probably end my story there, huh?) well needless to say because of a horrible pregnancy, i developed major back problems. 2 herniations t3 t4, l5 s1. spinal stenosis, major degenerative disc disease. all with nerve compression. so i was able to obtain percocet up until this very day. started with 5/325 here and there, then i needed 2, to 3 at a time. my doc even upped it to 7.5/500 3 times a day. please understand that i have legit chronic, excruciating back pain, every day. i have been everywhere, 2 or 3 pain clinics, rehab, PT, chiro, neurologist, you name it. so i get 90 a month and guess what they are gone in a week. story familiar? i am 28 yrs old, mother of a 2 and 5 year old. Let me stress, i do not want my family to know. i cannot seek help and let this be known. No one would ever expect this from me. Why is it that when i take these horrible creatures, i dont even fell well. i actually feel better and have more energy when i dont take them, that is, until the WD's kick in. Oh God, what have i done?? I just woke up out of a dead sleep, should still be sleeping, but something told me to come here. so i listened. just so i make it clear i take around 2 to 2 1/2, 7.5's, 3 to 4 times a day. what a disgrace!! i would rather stay in my house, and be "relaxing" than go anywhere, is that normal??
so as i sit here with tears running down my face, help. what do i do? how do i keep my pain down too?

please any advice or just words will help, i hope.
I totally understand except that I was on an extremely larger dose of medication then you are. I gave birth which cause all kinds of horrible lower back pain leading to degenerative disk disease. I started on Norco 10/325 3 times a day. 7 years later... 60mg MScontin (Morphine) and 12 norco a day. It took a great therapist to get me a personal trainer and a medication called Suboxone to get me off of those meds and sure enough I haven't taken them in about 6 months hpwever the pain is still high, building the muscles around my back and core have helped a little.

Good Luck to you in getting better, I am a single Mom of a wonderful 7 year old boy yet NO family, everyone has passed away on us in the last 6 years now its just me and my Son.

 
Old 01-03-2011, 07:36 AM   #7
corissa3
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Re: Desperate. Please read my story.

Everyone is so quick to "Taper down, do this, do that, see a therapist" etc. etc.

I've read your post several times and I don't think you are addicted...especially at that low dosage.

I (unprofessional, non medical background history) personally feel you are in legitimate pain but your dosage needs to be adjusted.

This medication was not created so that the user becomes addicted when they use it (although many could argue that statement). You may be addicted to the pain RELIEF you are experiencing when you take them.

If you are in as much pain as you say and I have disc herniations of the T7-8 and (L5 S1 <--very common) so I can relate to your story.

You receive 90 in a month and they are gone in a week? Hun, I believe you need to have a good talk with your doc and let him/her know how bad the pain is and get your meds adjusted...... DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR WANTING TO BE OUT OF PAIN AND PLS DONT FALL VICTIM TO THIS.

You may regret coming off the medicine.

 
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