Magdolene......Welcome to these boards. You will definitely find some help and support here. Everyone is so wonderful and will help you in any way they can. I was on Opiates or Pains Meds. for years due to chronic pain in my neck shoulders and head (also a headache since 2003). I also had failed neck surgery in 2003 and the pills helped with my pain but not 100% maybe only 40% but that was better than nothing. My body went into withdrawl eventually because I needed more oxycontin and vicodin to control the amount of pain I was in and instead had restless legs for 6 months. My doctor treated it with Re-quip which didn't work because it was withdrawl!!!! I didn't want to stay on the pain pills so I checked myself into Re-hab and went through the system and was put on suboxone to get the opiates out of my system. Which was very difficult and another story . I am now about 43 days clean and have my life back (except for my chronic pain which I am working on now to get help but no pain meds so it is very difficult). What I am trying to say to you.....your mind is a strong thing and you need to have a plan so you can get your life back. Your child or children need you to be there for them 100%. What will happen to them if you keep this up??? I am not trying to be harsh, it is just a reality. You don't need the alcohol.....you need to get your life back!!!! (I guess this is a form of TOUGH LOVE..sorry).
We are all with you here on these boards for support and help and will answer any questions that you might need answering (if we can help).
I think you need to find "MikeS" posts. He is the one that wrote back to you right away. His posts are inspiring and honest and you will see what he has been through (and is going through now) and you and him could maybe post.
I definitely think a 12 step program will help and you have to go into it with a mind state of getting clean. Don't hang around with anyone else that drinks and don't have any alcohol in the house. I know you know all of this but I am just trying to make suggestions.
Take care of yourself and please tell someone that you are close to so they can help you and maybe babysit while you get some help and be there for support.
Please think about this and think that "you want to get your life back" and soon. You have everything to live for, it is a wonderful world out there!!!!!
Good Luck
Hugs
Lyn in Michigan