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  • Taper from oxycodone - round 3



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    Old 06-30-2009, 11:39 AM   #31
    NotPerky
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    Very very down today.....can't stop crying.....very despondent....don't know why I'm suddenly so down.....I do have some family problems but nothing drastic has happened....I'm incapacitated again....but still at same dose as last few days. I pray I can get through this.

     
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    Old 06-30-2009, 11:50 AM   #32
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    Heya

    Of course you can get through this, NP! You have done so before. Remember the tools... force yourself to move, force engagement of mind ( I used to play solitaire) or the body.

    The family problems may be draining the limited resources we have in withdrawal. Up the supply doing the things that work for you. "I am getting stronger and better every day." What I am enduring is the process of restoration. I can do it, I can do it.

    Be strong. Cyber arms around you
    reach

     
    Old 06-30-2009, 02:43 PM   #33
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    Just like reachout said - you need to get out and get busy doing something. Get of of the house and go to a movie (a funny movie), do something to get your mind clear and off of the problems you are facing for a while. Staying busy is the answer!! Otherwise you dwell on your situation which makes things even worse. You can get through this. I don't feel the best either today, so I'm learning some new things off of the Internet and doing laundry.

     
    Old 07-02-2009, 10:05 PM   #34
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    Hi all, reporting in. OK, I made it through my suicidal day the other day. I think it's because I dropped basically 50% in a week. Yesterday I felt better and forced myself to go out last night. Without revealing too much identifying detail, suffice it to say I exercised my a** off. Tonight I did the same thing, and I'm hoping to do that tomorrow night as well. I was a sweaty out-of-breath wet-haired mess at the end, but I felt such a sense of accomplishment! (I can't wait to be off this stuff so the hyper-sweating stops.)

    I'm still sticking to the taper. I'm on the last 9 mg now. I tried to stretch it out to a 6-hour schedule today and came pretty close. I don't want to do any drastic cuts because I don't want to have another day like the other day, when I was a crying despondent wreck. So this last 9 mg might take awhile, but at least there's light at the end of the tunnel.

    Like Denon, I am not counting days....I don't even remember what date I started this taper. And I don't make my schedule more than a day in advance at this point. I don't want to be fixated on how long it's taking or when it'll be finished. One day at a time.

    Thanks to all you guys for your support....keep you posted.

     
    Old 07-06-2009, 07:01 PM   #35
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    Hi all. I'm STILL tapering. Now down to 7.5 mg. I felt great over the weekend and went out four nights in a row. Today I'm back to feeling like crap. Not sure why. Well, I just used the calculator and realized I'm down 20% from last Wed., so maybe that's why.

    This last 10 mg is taking forever. I can understand why Denon jumped from 10 mg to zero, but I know I don't have the strength to do something like that.

    I have my monthly appt. with the PM tomorrow. I was going to cancel, first because I'm feeling so lousy, and second because I don't want the temptation of another scrip. However, because I felt so lousy, I didn't have the energy to call and cancel within 24 hours, so I'll have to go. I am determined to tell them not to give me anything.

    I can't wait to get off this stuff. Besides the obvious (feeling stiff as a board, sneezing fits, hot flashes, crazy restless), little things are annoying me -- for example, smells really bother me. I put on a "shower fresh" scented deodorant today and the smell is driving me nuts. Kitchen smells are bothering me too. My appetite is still not back and my stomach is still not right.

    During this loooong taper process, I'm amazed at how I can be upbeat and energetic one day, and completely incapacitated the next. So, I'll stay at my current dose tomorrow until I stabilize a bit. Ugh.

    I want to answer so many other posts, but I just don't have the energy. Please know that I am reading all your stories and am supporting you in your efforts! "Tomorrow will be a better day....tomorrow will be a better day....".

     
    Old 07-07-2009, 05:18 PM   #36
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    Notperky:
    You are doing really good. I am very proud of you for sticking to the taper. I know that tomorrow is going to be a big temptation and "may" set off your cravings. Is there any possible way that you could take someone with you to the doctor appointment. This would just help you so much right now because you are in a slippery spot at the moment. Even if you are worried about telling someone that you are taking pain meds, screw that. The most important thing right now is that you stick to your taper and not to pick up another script. It's too bad that you don't have support in a 12-step group or you could have taken someone from that support group.

    Anyway, let's just focus on today at the moment. You are doing a really good job and you will be up and down emotionally for quite awhile. Obviously you are going to feel like crap with dropping 20% over the last couple of days. However, you are getting out and having fun and that is the most important part. Have you been talking to anyone else besides this board about what you are doing? Do you have anyone else that will support you (and also keep you on track). Please don't stay in and isolate because that is the worst thing to do as I have found out. It really plays havoc with my depression and also I start to get cravings if I stay home for too long. So keep up the good work and post back tomorrow about the doctor appt with the PM doctor.

    So what are you doing now to manage the pain? How is your pain at the moment (on a scale of 1-10)? Just curious. I am also a chronic pain sufferer so I know what that is like.

    brian

     
    Old 07-07-2009, 10:40 PM   #37
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    Hi Bri -- well, I managed to tell the doc today I didn't want a scrip. He said to call him if I need anything, but I said I wanted to see how far I could stretch out on the existing supply. Honestly, I feel so lousy, it would have taken extra energy to go to the pharmacy and get a scrip filled, so I was happy to have one less errand.

    I am still holding at 7.5. I feel a bit better today, but not great. Tomorrow I have plans to meet an old friend for lunch. I really didn't want to do it, because I'm always afraid those kinds of commitments will lead to taking my dose early, just to get the energy to get dressed and go. But....hopefully I'll be able to stick to the schedule and not feel like crap during the lunch. Hard to be cheerful and upbeat when you are going through WD.

    As far as my pain goes -- my nerve pain (leg, hand, feet) is bad, but I would say not much worse than when I was taking lots of Oxy. As you probably know, narcotics take the edge off nerve pain, but never fully relieve it. My main problem is increased back pain, stiffness, cracking, body aches and just generally feeling like I got hit by a truck. I definitely feel this is temporary as my body adjusts to life without major doses of narcotics. I know I did not have this type of pain before I started taking the stuff.

    No, I still haven't told anyone the real story. And there is really no one I can tell. Or want to tell. I just can't do it....it's too embarrassing, and I don't feel anyone will understand. I just consider myself fortunate to have you guys. The only people who truly understand are those who have gone through this h*ll.

    Thanks as always for your support and responses.

     
    Old 07-07-2009, 10:49 PM   #38
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    Have you thought about attending an NA meeting? You can tell your story there with no embarrassment at all. Trust me on that one, most people have heard about all kinds of things. I don't know if you will be able to handle the pain once you get off of all the medications, ya know. I know take it one step at a time but you might have to make a decision on what to do in the future. There are many non-narcotic medications out there as I'm sure you are aware of.

    I am on Lyrica and it has helped my nerve pain quite a bit. However, I am on other narcotic medication but I do use it as prescribed and have never abused it. I am on the fentanyl patch and Vicodin for BT pain. I hate the way it makes me feel (tired, drowsy, slowed thinking) but it gets the pain down to a manageable level. I am going to try the SPS(spinal cord stimulator) soon which is an implantable pain management solution. Did your doctor ever talk to you or offer that to you. It is effective for some types of pain especially in the legs and feet. I am willing to try it and at least you go through a trial to see if it will help before they fully implant it. Just wanted to tell you that you are an inspiration and I will remember this if I ever decide to reduce to stop my medications in the future.

    brian

     
    Old 07-10-2009, 10:43 PM   #39
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    Hey NotPerky!

    I just spent the last 20 minutes reading this thread and I can't express to you enough just how proud I am of you. Just like Reach said.. Tapering is not easy and painless like some believe. Mine was horrible. But, I made it thru it just like you will.

    You have just beat one problem after another! Look at that... relish in it. YOU DID IT. And you CAN keep going. I have faith in you.

    We all stumble at times and I know you had a hard time posting this thread to begin with but I am so glad you did because you are not alone my friend. You will get back to that make up wearing, great outfit, with a kick butt pair of shoes gal in no time!! After my taper was done.. it didn't take me long to start looking good again because I was starting to feel good again.

    Please keep writing... We are all rooting for you.
    Blessings to you honey! Off to bed I go.
    __________________
    ~Secrets

     
    Old 07-11-2009, 08:22 PM   #40
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    Hey NP,

    It's me again. I just read a post you wrote on another thread and I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time!!!!! WITHDRAWALS SUCK! I feel for you, I really do!

    I just wanted you to know that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!! I am sending you a warm healing hug right now.... Hang in there!!! You can do it... you have before and you will again!!!

    Give an update when you can again! It's sounds like you are in rough shape.. Try to vent it out.. it may help if you can get some how comfortable enough to type more...

    Your one day closer to your freedom! What a successful statement and remember, it's about you!!!!
    Hugs!
    __________________
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    Old 07-11-2009, 08:24 PM   #41
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    Hi all -- just a quick update. I'm on "day million" of the taper. Just kidding....I am still tapering, but I really don't know how many days it is, nor do I want to know. I've had a really bad last few days. Couldn't move, stiff, pain, depression, despondent, couldn't eat, crying, blah blah....same ole' story, different day. But the good news is, I'm somewhere under 7 mg. I'm now at the point where I would be absolutely insane to go off the taper. I wish I could just stop entirely, but I'll still prod along with my little teeny bit at a time....

    Maybe in two weeks, I'll be entirely off! But again, I'm just taking it one day at a time. Actually, I'm taking it one dose at a time. I do not want to jinx it by "counting my chickens"....know what I mean?

    (Brian, about NA: It's more of an issue of feeling too lousy to get dressed and go anywhere, much less an NA meeting. And believe me, I've tried to just "shake it off" and go out anyway. I end up being in kind of a fog....not able to function right. Luckily, I do have days when I feel a teeny burst of energy and am able to go out, do errands, even socialize a little. Tomorrow I have a commitment to go somewhere, so I am going to have to suck it up and just do it.)

     
    Old 07-12-2009, 07:30 AM   #42
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    Hiya

    I couldn't help but let out a bit of a chuckle as I read your last post here. Not laughing at all at you, but just recognizing myself in you. I plodded through those tapers with days of tears (oh, how many tears??), depression hitting on and off, anxiety raising its ugly head and periods of feeling like plain old poo-poo. Somedays I would say my mantra a hundred times... "I am getting better and stronger everyday." When the tears slowed down for a day or two, I would know it was time for another cut. Sigh. What a process of getting better to deliberately do something I knew would make me sicker again!

    The positive thing is that the tough times do get shorter and that there truly is a time that comes when all that disappears. We truly are healing as we go through these sick times. Healing in body and mind and soul. It may be crummy, but it is leading to a full healing and for that we are blessed. That we can be restored is an awesome thing. Unbelievable, really, when we think how dark the hole of addiction is and know that there is a way out. So much hope in that, Sweetpea.

    You keep right on plodding along. Use the tools you have been discovering and kick those pillsto the curb. You are going to walk out of this a whole woman again, participating and enjoying the participation in life again. That is a promise.

    Hold up the hope and claim the promise
    Hugs
    reach

     
    Old 07-13-2009, 09:29 AM   #43
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    Hey, you do what is working for your recovery. I like getting in the shower and scrubbing my head, washing my feet and brushing my teeth while the water runs over me. That is sometimes the highlight of my day. Silly but true. Hang in there girlfriend, all my juju goes to ya.
    RR

     
    Old 07-14-2009, 01:10 PM   #44
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    Hi gang. Still here. Made a big cut (for me) yesterday from 7 mg to 5. I was sick of trying to portion out the pills to equal, like, 6.82 mg or whatever. So I just said scr*w it, take a 5 mg pill, split it four ways and call it a day. I went back to four doses instead of three a day.

    I don't really have WD (occasional hot flashes), but my body feels like it was run over by a truck. My pain is definitely "exacerbated". The nerve pain down my leg, which previously didn't prevent me from walking a little, is now so bad I can't walk from here to there without pain. My back is aching, creaking and cracking like I'm 100 years old. I still believe this is all my body's way of rebelling against my sudden reduction of its usual narcotics.

    P.S. Yes, I have tried the usual drugs for nerve pain, and they didn't help plus all had side effects that I couldn't tolerate.

    Anyway, I will stay on 5 mg for a few days. I am hoping that soon, the doses will be so small, my body won't even know what happened when there is no more....<fingers crossed>.

    Last edited by NotPerky; 07-14-2009 at 01:12 PM. Reason: typo

     
    Old 07-14-2009, 06:16 PM   #45
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    Re: Taper from oxycodone - round 3

    I have read your posts and I know how you feel but I also think you may need a certain amount of these pills for your survival in this world. You have to be able to walk. I know about the back and leg pain. My elbows and thumbs are also aching. Weird. I just want you to consider the reason you used in the first place; to maintain the pain that you legitimately have. I went through all of this with my Doc and she said everyone goes through the I am an addict and I want to quit and then they come running back because they can't function without the meds. For some they can manage a wonderful life with no meds for others, to meet the needs of our families and our financial well being we need to use these meds for our lives to function. Sorry to go on and on. Just want you to be okay. Just my take.
    RR

     
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