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    Old 08-06-2009, 03:45 PM   #1
    NotPerky
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    Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    Hi all -- I don't feel well enough to write much, but this is Day One of my life without oxycodone. (I just got finished an 8-week taper that took me from 60-75 mg daily to zero.) My last little microscopic dose was last night at 10:30 PM. It actually made me feel worse, so that's "a good thing". I don't feel bad as far as WD symptoms go, but I am very stiff. I know that will pass with time. I'm so glad to be done with it!!! No watching the clock anymore. I'll check back when I feel a little better.

     
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    Old 08-06-2009, 04:20 PM   #2
    mel486
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    Re: Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    I'm so proud of you and your taper. You showed us all how to do it correctly. I pray that the final w/d's are mild for you and really hope that you don't get any. Keep us up to date on how you are doing. Great job!!

     
    Old 08-07-2009, 07:33 AM   #3
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    Re: Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    NP,

    I am so proud of you words can't not do it even justice! You have accomplished such a difficult challenge.

    If this makes you feel any better.... I did my taper and it was hell but once I was done actually taking that last pill (I dropped off from 10mg Oxycontin to nothing at my last decrease) I actually thought the wd would be horrible but after I took that last pill, got that last little high..... the wd just kept getting better and better.. I felt way better than I did when I was on my taper.... So hang in there! It will get better as you know and you have already proven your great strength. I am very proud of you and you should be very proud of yourself! Some people in their lifetime could never accomplish something so scary and daunting!

    The thing that kicked in the worst for me was the depression and cravings..... If you look back at my posts from way back I was always posting about cravings and what not but posting helped. It did... Getting it off my chest was the best medicine to fight against the cravings.. The depression will pass too..... Just stay strong and of course... KEEP US UPDATED!

    You will be in my thoughts and prayers! I hope this message finds you with peace in your heart and strength in your mind!
    XOXOXO
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    Old 08-07-2009, 08:12 AM   #4
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    Re: Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    Hang in there, NP. You are probably a lot stronger than you think you are. You should be very proud of yourself!!! Way to go!

     
    Old 08-07-2009, 09:26 AM   #5
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    Re: Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    I hope this finds you strong and doing well. Congratulations! You should be extremely proud of yourself. I have been off my taper for a few days now and the cravings do hit, but they aren't long lasting or too tough.
    You will be a little better each and every day.

     
    Old 08-07-2009, 09:55 AM   #6
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    Re: Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    NotPerky:
    Good for you. I want to let you know that I am going to show your posting to a friend of mine that is addicted to painkillers. He is in complete denial. I hope your post helps him. I keep telling him to taper off slowly but he doesnt listen. He is not too far gone (in my opinion). PLEASE...keep us informed on your progress because you are helping other people in doing so. I also take Vicodin for chronic back pain. I take 3 "10/325" a day. I have never swayed and have never increased the amount but at the same time I understand that I have to be cautious. I am going for the back epidurals in 2 weeks. Hopefully I wont need the Vicodin anymore. Keep strong and share your story!!!
    Joe.

     
    Old 08-08-2009, 08:16 AM   #7
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    Re: Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    Hey Not Perky

    You will be feeling perky again in time. Keep practicing all the tricks and using all the tools discovered in withdrawal to continue to help you. Balance will come again to the brain and body. Push back hard against the depression and the pain... these things abate as we move along. You have claimed sobriety... hold on to it with all your might now. Keep drawing strength from those spaces deep inside of us.

    Be proud of the task you have accomplished! It is no small feat to make it through withdrawal. No siree, Bob! In my mind, it is a monumental feat! You have done it and now are ready to move on to do more great things with your life.

    So proud of you
    Love
    reach

     
    Old 08-09-2009, 11:43 AM   #8
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    Re: Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    Hi all. Day Four with no oxy. I still feel pretty lousy; yes, I guess I could equate it with the flu (feeling like I have the flu, I mean). Achy, headachy, fatigued. I feel "out of it". I still have pain, especially in my legs. If I walk into the kitchen, my legs feel like I walked 100 miles. The hot flashes and anxiety come occasionally, but thankfully not often. I've been able to sleep OK but I'm still taking my Ambien. (One thing at a time.)

    One of the best things I did was flushing all the rest of my meds. No matter how anxious I get, or how long I feel lousy, there's nothing to tempt me. I'd have to make all the effort of getting a new scrip. Well, guess what -- I don't have the energy to make tea, much less call the doctor, go to the pharmacy, etc. In fact, when I have managed to go out, I've passed the pharmacy several times, and been very happy to just keep on truckin' by.

    I hate to ask this, but any idea of how long the "flu" will last? I have pretty much put my life on hold while I was tapering, and I still don't have the energy to do much of anything. I know it took me a good month to recover from methadone (30 years ago) but I didn't think oxycodone immediate-release was as insidious as methadone. But I still am giving it a month, since I AM, you know, "Miss Delicate System".

    I still don't have my appetite back and can't eat much. I'm at a very low weight (lowest in 10 years) and am trying to eat calories whatever way I can get them (even if it's a milkshake). Don't worry, I know I'll gain the darn weight back....and it'll be fun doing it when the time comes!

    The nice thing is, I can't wallow in how lousy I feel, or look at the clock waiting for that next dose, because there isn't a next dose. I just have to hope that each day will bring a little progress.

    BTW, you guys are the only ones who know my situation. I mentioned last week to my mother that I was almost off my pain meds, and she said she thought I went off them a few months ago! (when I first mentioned the taper) People have no idea how long it takes to properly wean from this stuff. She asked why I can't take pain meds, since I'm obviously in legitimate pain. Well, for me, it's because they're addictive. Even if take only one a day, I get dependent on that one a day. And I start getting little chills and WD symptoms earlier in the day, and I end up taking a little nip of my next dose....then one leads to two, etc. etc. If I NEVER get another chill or clammy feeling, this will all be worth it.

    Well, sorry to babble on and on....but it's a rainy Sunday. Thanks for all the support, guys, and I hope to hear how everyone's doing.

     
    Old 08-09-2009, 01:47 PM   #9
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    Re: Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    Hey there NotPerky... Glad you checked in. The achy legs and insomnia were the worse for me (besides the shaking which was not a w/d). I would keep walking around the house for most of the night, until I was literally bouncing off the walls. Then I would go lay down. I used Ambien as well to sleep. Most w/d's usually last 5-7 days and you are probably through the worse of it and you should start feeling better in the next couple of days. I use my memory of my last withdrawals as a reminder never to use opiates again, since I never want to go through that w/d process again.

    It takes a while before your body is fully over the opiate addiction because it relied on the opiates to produce the endorphins (natural chemicals in your body that make you feel good) on their own. My formula was to stay busy and to seek out things and tasks that made me feel good in the past. You have to re-teach your body to make the endorphins naturally again. They have been on vacation for all that time and don't want to go back to work.

    Just take each day, each hour, each moment and make the best of it and you'll be feeling chipper soon and you'll have to change your logon name to "FeelingPerky" :-)

     
    Old 08-10-2009, 09:09 AM   #10
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    Re: Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    Hey NP!

    GREAT JOB!!!! You are right in the thick of it and your attitude INSPIRES ME! You really are something special. I will be honest... When I was tapering and after and sometimes still now.. when I pass a pharmacy I can't help but think about all the meds they have in there.. It's sick really! SO be proud of yourself because most of the time if I know a pharmacy is coming up I look the other direction and try to distract myself!!!! Pathetic... I know!

    THe "flu" will start to get better and better now as the days go by! That I promise! It will not last forever, with every withdrawal feeling your body is actually healing even though it feels the opposite... A very wise woman once shared that with me (Reachout) and it helped me get thru the worst of it.

    I am so happy you are sleeping because I did not and it made it so hard to deal with!!!!!

    I am proud of you! So proud of you! Please just keep writing and sharing your journey! You would not believe all the people you may be helping find the strength to keep going too!

    Blessings to you!
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    Old 08-10-2009, 11:20 AM   #11
    NotPerky
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    Re: Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    Thanks, you guys. As far as the pharmacy "drive-by" goes -- I don't have pleasant pharmacy memories at all. I never again want to stand in line and feel like the pharmacist is thinking "junkie". Or wait with bated breath while the tech looks at my scrip then turns to the pharmacist and whispers. Once my scrip quantity started getting up in the hundreds, I always felt like they secretly looked down on me. OR, I had to go to multiple pharmacies because many didn't even have that large a quantity of oxy in stock. Now that is just darn sad. Then they started giving me some "off-manufacturer" that I didn't think worked as well....so then I had to start making sure the pharmacy had the "aqua" ones that I liked. What a huge hassle. I am glad to be done with it.

    Perhaps I sound paranoid, but I guess I just felt guilty and embarrassed to be taking such huge quantities of narcotics, even if they were legitimately prescribed. Brought back too many memories of my "dark side" 30+ years ago, which also involved a pharmacy or two, and some cops....but that's a story for another day and probably another board.... ;-)

     
    Old 08-10-2009, 12:14 PM   #12
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    Re: Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    Yeah, I too remember feeling embarrassed as well. At my highest usage I think I was using both Oxycontin and percocet at the same time.took 2 20 mg of oxy and then up to 8-10 percs a day! I live in a small town and do business with the people that work there and it was mortifying for me...... At first they were super supportive... Then it turned weird and uncomfortable! It was a relief when that was done! That is FOR SURE!

    So at least you are looking at the positive side of things too! Good for you. I had a hard time doing that in the begining and sometimes still do. You wouldn't beleive the pity parties I have thrown myself over being an addict and not letting myself become one again. I enjoyed that high like the rest... It was what I lived for...... Now, I feel like there is ALWAYS temptation lurking and I just have to have my eyes wide open at all times and NEVER get too cocky about sobriety.... It can be your worst enemy!

    Just keep doing what you are doing!!!! You are a rockstar in my book!
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    Old 08-10-2009, 12:26 PM   #13
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    Re: Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    You are doing a really good job NP. I am really proud of you for getting of the oxycodone. I know that when I went off of oxycodone that I felt like I had the flu for about 2 weeks. Then things started to slowly get better. Just remember that it takes a complete 12 months for your body, brain to completely heal and get back to noraml. It takes a full 2 years for the mind/psychological state to return to normal. Just take it 1 day at a time and you will get there. Just remember it is the journey that is important not the destination. Try to get outside as much as possible (out in the sun) which will help your body produce vitamin D, improve your depression in the process, and try to take a little walk (no matter how bad your muscles ache). I guarantee that you will feel better after you get back from your walk. Try to drink as much water as possible and take a multi-vitamin and extra b vitamins which will give you energy and help to replenish the vitamins/minerals that were being robbed by the drugs.

    brian

     
    Old 08-11-2009, 02:17 PM   #14
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    Re: Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by NotPerky View Post
    Thanks, you guys. As far as the pharmacy "drive-by" goes -- I don't have pleasant pharmacy memories at all. I never again want to stand in line and feel like the pharmacist is thinking "junkie". Or wait with bated breath while the tech looks at my scrip then turns to the pharmacist and whispers. Once my scrip quantity started getting up in the hundreds, I always felt like they secretly looked down on me. OR, I had to go to multiple pharmacies because many didn't even have that large a quantity of oxy in stock. Now that is just darn sad. Then they started giving me some "off-manufacturer" that I didn't think worked as well....so then I had to start making sure the pharmacy had the "aqua" ones that I liked. What a huge hassle. I am glad to be done with it.
    You don't sound paranoid at all! That's exactly the way I used to feel, getting my bottles of 100, 120, etc., and I know I'm not imagining it. Especially when I used to try to get a refill before the insurance would let me, and whined, "Can't I please pay out-of-pocket?". Sheesh! Bad times, bad tmes. The funny thing is, now that I'm on the sub, the pharmacists all smile at me and ask how I'm doing, especially one cute young man who's so sweet. Every time my dose goes down he gives me a big thumbs up!

    I'm so proud of you, and so happy for you; what a huge accomplishment. I'm sorry you're feeling lousy, but you're healing. I know that doesn't help you feel any better, but you can use the same strength you used in getting thru so far to get thru this part. Wish I could let you know how long this part lasts, but I"ve never been there.

    You've given me a real boost today, just by reading your post (I got a bit behind, haven't been here for a while). My mood goes up just realizing what you've done, and how hard it's been, and still is, for you to go thru, but you've made it this far! I know you can't see, but I've got a huge grin on my face, just for you !

    Take care of yourself,

    rose

    PS: Soon you'll have to change your name to I'mPerky! :-D
    __________________
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    Last edited by Wild Irish Rose; 08-11-2009 at 02:18 PM.

     
    Old 08-13-2009, 12:03 PM   #15
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    Re: Free at last (of oxycodone)!

    I'm at the "one-week-off-Oxy" mark, so this calls for a quick check-in with you guys. I still feel flu-like -- achy, joint pain, tired leg muscles. I occasionally have the hot flashes, sneezes and/or yawns/watery eyes, so I know my body is still going through WD. The bad news is, I fell two days ago and hit the ground very hard, so that just made the aches and pains worse, plus I hurt my knee, which previously wasn't a problem. The good news is, I'm no longer having the waves of "antsy/anxious/want to scream" feelings. My place is still a wreck, as I have no energy to clean or do much else, and I'm still not able to eat much. But there is definitely progress, and it's become a real challenge at this point -- I will beat this no matter how long it takes!

    You guys have been great and so supportive! No need to respond, I know you're with me -- I just wanted to mark the one-week milestone.

     
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