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  • Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(



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    Old 09-14-2009, 07:38 AM   #46
    readerroz
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    Just wanted to note that I do have a couple of friends whose fibro *did* go away after awhile, so there's always hope for that, too.

    (OT: Well, lucky little you about the dating. Men find out how many boys I have and run terrified in the opposite direction. LOL)

    I've begun to think that maybe the depression, which so many people here seem to experience, is just about the worst aspect of WD, especially as it lasts *so* much longer than the physical.

    Well, here's hoping that we stay the course today.

     
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    Old 09-14-2009, 09:43 AM   #47
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    Good for you. You are doing great! Just keep going toward your goal and one day you'll look back and say, "I'm glad to get that over with." Before i re-injured my neck, I took Advil every morning and evening and it really helped with the "everyday" pain that I have. As soon as I feel more than normal pain starting, I start taking the Lyrica, which I see is mostly advertised for fibromyalgia these days from their commercials. I guess nerve pain is nerve pain no matter where it originates. All of the posts seem to blend together after a while, but I believe you were starting Cymbolta. I know it takes a while for it to kick in, but that should help your depression. Staying busy so your mind cannot dwell on things help kill the depression too. I know sometimes its hard to force yourself to get out and do something, but in the end it is worth it and it seemed to help me when I got those feelings.

    Sort of funny how I look back at the different stages I went through and now I realize that it was the drug that caused all of them. I think that is why I'm so careful now on what I take, how much i take and for how long.

    I hope that today is a good day for you and that you stay strong. Good Luck!!

     
    Old 09-15-2009, 05:51 AM   #48
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    hi read and denon,

    i did try the cymbalta but by the 3rd day and felt mania. i have always had that problem with antidepressants, i was hoping it might be different this time. i think that's the definition of insanity "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

    physically i was ok with not taking the valium last night but mentally i hated going to bed without taking a pill. i stayed busy yesterday and spent extra time in the pool so i think that helped a lot with the restless leg stuff. my doc wants me to try elivil (sp?). i know its a anti depressant so i said wont i have mania again with that? he said maybe but most people do fine with it. i hat to say this but he really is not very helpful at all. i will be working with a new doctor in about a month. i have tried to talk to my physiatrist about the issues of withdrawal and he knows nothing!!! he just looks at me with a blank stare. the drug addict in me loves doctors like that because i can get him to give me any drug i want, but the health me knows i need to loss him asap.

    im not going to come down any more off the ultram until next week.

    i still have not given my bottle of valium to my friend. i just dont feel willing yet. i really should not have this in my house!!!

    maybe i will do it today. i need to pray for the strength.

    happy tuesday everyone

     
    Old 09-15-2009, 09:57 PM   #49
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    I really think you need to give the bottles to your friend or you will be constantly tempted to take a pill. Having it out of he house and in control of your friend will help curb the urges. Just having the pills at all where you can eventually get them is a problem in itself and you will have to cross that bridge one day about throwing them out. So long as you have the pills, you will have the temptation to sneak one with the promise, just this one time. Think about it.

    You are doing great with the Ultram and cutting 10-20% next week is a good plan.

     
    Old 09-17-2009, 05:41 AM   #50
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    i messed up i messed up i messed up..... denon i read you post last night and it made my stomic flip because i knew you were right but i just thought i could do it this time (that's the 100 time i have said that and it always back fires). i was invited to a NA party (of all ******* things!!!!) and i was in to much pain to go. so i convinced myself that i must go and if i have to pop extra ultram and valium to go then that's ok (this time). not only did i take valium i took a hole 10mg! that's about feels like 4 shots of whisky. then to make sure i did not fall asleep i popped a extra ultram. i was miserable the whole time at the party, all i could think about was what a phoney i was. the dumbest part was that the ultra makes me sick when i take extra, so i spent the night feeling just awlful. i did not even get to "enjoy the valium" because in my heart i knew it was a self harming choice , and if i would have just called my friends and said i was to unwell to go they would have been loving and kind. but instead i wanted to show up like super woman! now i feel like super stupid!

    so heres the deal. today i can go see my friend and give her the ENTIRE bottle of pills. i wll do it and i will post to you guys as soon as its done. i have a mile long list of all the reasons i should be able to take drugs when ever i want. you know what, its all lies. i just dont want to deal with life on life's terms. i want to go through life is a haze.

    sorry folks, i want to be a success story. my dog did not give me my morning kiss, maybe hes disappointed too.

     
    Old 09-17-2009, 10:46 AM   #51
    mel486
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    I think you need to sit down and re-evaluate your goals and your plan on getting to where you want to be. I think you need to sit down and even write out your goals, use a calendar that is always visible and know when you are going to do what and mark it down. Most people don't have the will power to NOT take a pill if it is readily available. Mark it on a calendar when you will drop a dose, when you took a dose, everything.

    I use a calendar to mark my pain and if I took something for it and how much. In fact, there is a sponsor on this site that has all sorts of tracking pages that I use also. (I hope mon-anon will allow that sponsor reference, since it is a sponsor). It charts out a great progress reports as well to let you know how well or bad you are doing. Yesterday, for you, would have been marked a very bad day!

    I hope that you can re-evaluate what you plan is and come up with a working solution. This may have been the one incident that will get you on track so that your dog will like you again.

     
    Old 09-17-2009, 01:16 PM   #52
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    thanks for the advice. i will into that. i dropped off the pills today, so now i cant get my hands on them. monday i go down another 25mgs on the ultam so that seems like a realistic goal. really down in the dumps today.

     
    Old 09-17-2009, 01:50 PM   #53
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    Hey Honey,

    I am so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time! I wish I could make it better for you!

    You just hang in there honey! I know how hard it is... I have been struggling myself with feeling down and dealing with cravings that are very present but I just keep fighting and that is what I focus on.

    I will be thinking of you honey!
    XOXOXO
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    Old 09-17-2009, 02:26 PM   #54
    mindy1974
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    thanks S!
    im really having a major mood crash right now. i think its a combo of the valium and just frustration. i went to my first PT apointment today, she seemed to have some great ideas. she did say that i need to make sure i dont let my pain get out of hand because that will get in the way of me getting anything out of PT. oh well.

     
    Old 09-17-2009, 06:39 PM   #55
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    Sorry to be a little rough this morning. I was still suffering from a headache after my epidural yesterday. Don't be too hard on yourself and re-group and start a new plan beginning from today.

    Your PT has good advice. Pain seems to build on itself and can get out of hand easily. Work with the PT to keep it under control.

     
    Old 09-18-2009, 04:56 AM   #56
    mindy1974
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    d, i hope your feeling better this morning, i will check your other post to see if you started the new med.

    im pretty close to being off all the meds. i feel good about that and i am going to get off all of them and stay off then reassess the pain and decide what needs to be done. im hoping for a magical, or aleast a pleasant surprise. the winter is extremly painful for me when i have a fibro flare, its the hardest time to stay off drugs. i can live with pain but i cant live without work so i have to do everything i can to make sure i can continue to work. my dog is talking to me again so i must be doing something right.

    the facial twitches have stopped!! that really must have been from the valium withdrawal. that sucked big time.

    <removed>

    thanks

    Last edited by mod-anon; 09-18-2009 at 06:25 AM.

     
    Old 09-18-2009, 02:21 PM   #57
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    Hey you!

    I am proud of you!!! I hope you are still doing okay! The moods swings that come along with tapering or weaning down are horrible! I have been there before big time.

    It will get better though honey! I promise. Hang in there and I will check in with you first thing on Monday my dear!

    Take care!!!
    XOXOX
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    Old 09-19-2009, 06:18 AM   #58
    mindy1974
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    thanks secrets,

    truth is i have some pretty impressive mood swings weather or not im going through withdrawal!

    im soooo happy i handed over my pills to my friend because today i know i would abuse them. i have allot of work today and the people i am working with are rude and intense, so im sure i would have popped a few extra valuim to take the "edge" off!

    i feel ok today and look forward to my next tapper on monday.

    i have been spending allot of time in the warm water pool and that helps with the creepy crawlers in my legs.

    have a great day all!

     
    Old 09-19-2009, 10:29 AM   #59
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    Popping a pill to take the edge off doesn't teach you how to deal with life on a whole. It masks it. You did the right thing by taking the pills to your friend. Next time you go asking for them ask yourself, "Am I getting them because I WANT them or because I NEED them." Dealing with everyday strifes and struggles helps build you into a better person and teaches you how to cope with them the next time they arise so, you can deal with them effectively.

    You're doing great!!

     
    Old 09-20-2009, 06:09 AM   #60
    mindy1974
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    Re: Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

    its sunday and i dont want to tapper anymore!!!!!!!!!! but i will

    i wanted to drink last night. after i dropped off my friend from the movies, i thought how nice it would be to drive by the liquor store and go home and make myself a few margaritas. and then promptly pass out.

    but i played it out in my head. i would have to hide in my room from my roommate, i would wake up in the middle of the night and not fall back asleep, i would have anxiety and depression and a huge waves of shame, i would not be able to go to my morning meeting because everyone would smell the booze on me, the whole day would be lost. so i made it home and went to bed without a drink or a drug. feels good to make it one more day. you guys are the only who know about my inner struggles, i let some people know about the surface struggles but not the hell i battle at times. i don't think i would be clean today if not for the ability to check in with you all. i have a big workday today, and i will not bring any extra pills with me. just a big green salad and some water (and maybe some chocolate)

    thanks for listening.......or reading, witch ever....

     
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