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    Old 09-25-2009, 11:12 AM   #1
    Michael29
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    Percocet Addiction

    Hi-

    I am new to this forum and I am going through an incredible amount right now. I've read almost everything there is to read but I would love to hear some feedback from anyone who has experienced what I am going through and what I am about to get myself involved with.

    Back in January of 2007 is when it all started. I had some real serious back issues and was prescribed percocet for it. Ladies an gentlemen, I was hooked right away. Over the next couple years I'd take percocet on an off whenever i'd go to the doctor I'd ask for another prescription and hope she'd give it to me. I was in real pain but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't also drug seeking either. Regardless, I'd get my prescription of 60 pills and be done with it. It never became an out right addiction until March of this year when I went to the dentist for a horrible tooth ache from a cracked filling and was giving percocet and an abtibiotic until the infection went away for me to get the root canal. From that point on I have been on percoet/vicodin. I'd go to my regular doc to get percocet and when it would run out I'd go to the other doc for vicodin and every time was an attempt to ween off but this drug (percocet) is just way too strong. I find weening off to be a literal impossibility. I knew I was in serious trouble in May when I went through my first true withdrawal from the drug. After the third day of not having any narcotic at all I finally went to the Doc and she gave me just enough for two a day for two weeks and then I'd go back to see how I did. Well, all summer long I kept getting more and more (you'd be amazed how persuasive you can be when you're in that office.) My Doc and I have reached a point where she isn't writing me anymore and this Wednesday coming up I have an appointment with the specialist who is going to prescribe Suboxone. Mentally I know I am going to need this drug. My only fear is that it doesn't work. Does anyone have any experience with this drug? Cold turkey is simply not an option for me. It's a dark, desolate, lonely, miserable, achey, cold, frightening place not having a pill to go to and I just know myself and I am going to want and NEED the Sub.

    Finally I would like to say that over these past 6 months I can say that I was at least a "sensible addict" and what I mean by that is I never exceeded the so called 4000 mg a day of tylenol which I hear is what is really damaging in these pills. I've read how some people would take anywhere from 20-40 pills a day and my heart goes out to anyone who has struggled with that much medicine. Fortunately that was never me, thank God but I don't judge anyone who has used that much because this is serious stuff and I am afraid I might get to that point if I don't stop it now. I am afraid. I haven't told anyone about this and I just love percocet so much but am willing to try to suboxone and I only pray it works. It's so hard to admit but it's time to stop. What keeps me going is the knowledge that before I ever knew these pills I was an outgoing, friendly, loving and all around great guy who never needed a pill to live and genuinely enjoyed life.

    Any advice, experience and guidance would be appreciated. I just wanna know what's in store for me. Thanks so much.

     
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    Old 09-25-2009, 11:34 AM   #2
    mel486
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    Re: Percocet Addiction

    Hi Michael and welcome to the group. You are doing the right thing finally realizing your problem and seeking help. Suboxone is a good treatment IF you use it properly and you can be completely off all opiates in the matter of a few weeks. Yes, it works! I'm familiar with Percocets and their withdrawals and suboxone eliminates them, so long as you don't stay on the sub too long and taper properly off of it. Make sure that your doctor places you on a good tapering plan to get off of the sub and not just refill prescriptions over and over again. Then you are substituting one addiction with another.

    There is a long process once you are off of the opiates that you need to follow to make sure that you don't end up on them again. We can help you with that and answer you questions and concerns. Good luck to you!!

     
    Old 09-25-2009, 01:21 PM   #3
    Secrets1983
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    Re: Percocet Addiction

    Hello and Welcome Michael,

    I am so glad you found us. Make yourself at home because this board is so helpful and the people on it are great. We all know what you are going thru. I have been there, done that for sure. There are no judgements made here as we are all in the same boat. We all have an addiction to something and we all are working on recovery!

    I think Suboxone sounds like the right answer for you. It has done wonders for a lot of people. Taking the medication properly should give you a whole new outlook on like. You most likely will have no cravings, you will have your energy back and it will help you feel like your old self again. The guy who didn't have to take a pill to enjoy life.

    I am a recovering pain pill addict as well. I never used suboxone when I quit because I was too ashamed to tell anyone I had a problem.... I even now wonder if it would help because I have such terrible cravings still.... However, I don't think my insurance covers it and there is no way I could afford it.

    Any step towards recovery is a good one in my opinion! I wish you much success and I promise you, getting off these narcotics is the right choice. No one deserves to be chained to a pill bottle...

    Keep us updated will you? GOOD LUCK!

    Blessings!
    __________________
    ~Secrets

     
    Old 09-25-2009, 08:58 PM   #4
    NotPerky
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    Re: Percocet Addiction

    Hi Michael, and welcome. Your story could be my story. I started on Percocet due to back issues, but also got it from a dentist after oral surgery. Started taking one every night -- loved it! Six years later, I was up to the equivalent of 12-15 a day (by then I was on straight oxycodone with no Tylenol). My whole life revolved around them, and I too became a miserable depressed person. I just got off them 7 weeks ago via a long grueling 8-week taper. I didn't want to do Suboxone because I had a bad experience getting off methadone 30 years ago, but many people here have used it successfully. Whatever you decide, you've taken a great first step, and please know that we're here for you!

     
    Old 09-25-2009, 09:41 PM   #5
    Michael29
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    Re: Percocet Addiction

    Thanks so much for those of you who have taken the time to write. This is just crazy. I have spent the entire day thinking about these percocets. Fortunately, I wasn't with my girlfriend tonight (listen to what I am saying!) All I used to want to do is be with her no matter what. It kills me not to be able to tell her and it's not that I fear her being judgmental. It's just way too late in the game to explain ALL of this to her. My only saving grace right now is the vicodin I have left that I am taking to just keep me mildly relaxed until I go in for the suboxone. I spoke to the Doctor on the phone this morning and he told me to make sure I came into the appointment in a withdrawal state of mind. Now, for me that is so hard to gage. I go into withdrawal mode the minute I take my last pill. It's a psychological withdrawal really. Knowing that there are no more pills alone makes me MISERABLE. Then the wondering if the Doc would give me more knowing I finished early. Then getting the script but wondering if the pharmacy or insurance will reject it and FINALLY getting the pills PROMISING myself I won't mess up this time and ALWAYS DO. Then it all starts again when there are no more pills. To be honest, I am just tired of being a slave to these things and really pray I get through this. The vicodin I am taking now is strictly for the narcotic to go into my system and prevent me from that HORRIBLE place without it. The thing is, vicodin does nothing for me as far as feeling euphoric. To me, vicodin is a waste. It never helped with me pain or gave the wonderful sensation percocet did and I intentionally finished the percocet early so I could begin weening off with the vicodin to make the transition into the suboxone easier. I am just so afraid. With me it's weird. All I do is sleep when I am like this. I hear how everyone else suffers from insomnia. My thing is sleeping. Perhaps it's a deep depression and I sleep to cope with it. Either way I am beyond well rested right now. I am eating okay. Actually, I am really into sweets but I managed to put down a nice healthy dinner. Well, I am going this week Wednesday for the suboxone. Any advice when I should take my last vicodin so I go there in withdrawal? Is 24 hours enough time? I can't believe I got myself involved in this crap. Like may of us, you'd look at me and NEVER think this would happen. It happened, and now it's time to deal with it.

    Last edited by Michael29; 09-25-2009 at 09:47 PM.

     
    Old 09-26-2009, 12:40 AM   #6
    mel486
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    Re: Percocet Addiction

    Actually, discuss the plan of when you need to take the last pill with your doctor, but it is my understanding that you don't have to suffer from withdrawals before you start the sub. The Suboxone will block the opiate receptors anyway and taking opiate after being on Suboxone will have no effect. Unless you really want to suffer the torture of withdrawals - you may want to consider stopping the night before. But, again a simple phone call to the doctor will confirm what you should do.

    I never took Sub, so I can only pass on what I've heard on this forum.

     
    Old 09-26-2009, 08:53 AM   #7
    Michael29
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    Re: Percocet Addiction

    Wow what a struggle. I am just so overwhelmed and don't know what to do. It's so amazing what those little pills can do to a human mind. I have been doing so much research and reading so many stories and I guess in some ways feel slightly fortunate that my addiction has only lasted 6 months and that I never went above the maximum allowable daily dosage of these pills. It still doesn't change the fact that I am ridiculously hooked and just have no idea what to do. I am just really praying that the sub works. The good news is I am ready to quit. I want my old life back. I am really struggling with the notion of living life without taking pills. I ask myself things like how I can be happy without them. It's such a struggle trying to deal with the unknown in front of me and the willpower that I am going to need. I am so ashamed of myself for even getting into this position but I am not the type who dwells. It is what it is. It happened and my only option now is to face it head on and deal with it. I gotta tell you, the withdrawals when you run out, the fear of not getting more, wondering where I am going to get more pills, the pharmacy, etc are just not worth it. It's too stressful. I just want this appointment to get here. I just want to start the suboxone and begin my road to recovery and I have all the confidence in the world I am going to do this. I guess what I am saying is I am the type of personality that will push the envelope as far is it can be pushed but when it is time to get down to business and take care of things, I am usually 100 percent successful in accomplishing whatever it is that needs to be done. This addiction (for me) is without question 90 percent mental and only ten percent physical. I am not longer in constant pain and I don't get high of the pills anymore. To me, it's all about taking a pill or two so that I can get from A to B or so I can have a decent conversation with someone, or attend something social. I will do this. Truthfully, I've only messed up because the Doc's kept giving me the pills. It's not their fault. I didn't have to ask for them but I did. As long as they don't give them to me then how can I take them? I can't. I absolutely refuse to seek elsewhere. This is a tremendous battle within myself and I am confident I'll be fine. Thanks for reading.

     
    Old 09-26-2009, 09:58 PM   #8
    kewood
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    Re: Percocet Addiction

    Hi Michael,
    Welcome. I have been on Suboxone for 4 months now after a 2 year battle with hydrocodone addiction, about 180-200mg per day. My doc said to come into the first appointment in "mild to moderate withdrawls". I came in after 22hrs post last dose and did fine. The suboxone works well and quickly. I am on 16mg per day which is an average maintenance dose but I'm looking forward to tapering to 8mg then 4mg then 2mg then off within the next 3-4 months. I've needed to be on this long because I am still having cravings, much more psychological than physical. I still would not trust myself to not return to the hydro if I got off of the sub now. Some need it longer than others. And, you needen't worry about relapsing while you are on sub. I've already tried to take hydro and NOTHING happened. It was like taking a placebo. I even stopped the suboxone for a whole week, but since it's got a very long half-life, I wasn't even able to feel anything from the hydro after a week off of sub. So, I did my little experiment which didn't work and in a way, I feel much safer and relaxed because I KNOW I am unable to get high even if someone were to hand me a bottle of hydro or percocet. I wouldn't want it because I know it wouldn't do anything!
    I'm also in an outpatient chemical dependency group which is going well. I went to my first group last night and I think it will be quite helpful. Please keep us updated on your situation. I encourage you to be honest with your girlfriend. It's so much to live with, all of the guilt and shame of our disease and the secrets involved. That's what keeps us sick. We're here for you and I'm so glad you are getting the help you need!

    Take care,
    KEW

     
    Old 09-27-2009, 06:15 AM   #9
    mindy1974
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    Re: Percocet Addiction

    suboxone worked for me but i got off f that after 2 months. i had a clear goal and used alot of support to stay on track. suboxone was no walk in the park but it did help make it a softer landing when coming off the pain meds. saty close and lean on people here. they realyl do help more then you might think....

     
    Old 09-27-2009, 09:33 PM   #10
    mel486
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    Re: Percocet Addiction

    I'm sure you will find that the Sub will help a lot. Again, talk to the physician and ask questions - lots of them. You should have plan on how much you will take, for how long and how to taper off of the Sub in a few weeks so you can be completely off of the opiates.

    Yes, those little pills wreck havoc on people. That is why they can easily be abused. It is actually both mental and physical. The opiates cause the body to slow down the manufacture of endorphins (the hormones that make you feel good), so your body has to learn how to make them again. It will take time. Once you get over the physical part, the mental really comes into play. You will probably experience craving at some point (not while on the sub though) and then we can talk to you about them and how to avoid them.

    Keep us up to date on your suboxone treatment and let us know how it works.

     
    Old 09-28-2009, 01:15 PM   #11
    Michael29
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    Re: Percocet Addiction

    The general consensus is to wait to have the last dose somewhere between 12-24 hours. I spoke to the girl ont he phone today at the Doc's and asked her if I needed to be in that dark-horrific-lonely-scary-satanic like place of withdrawal when I go in there Wednesday and she said no but to just make sure I don't take anything 12 hours ahead. Bottom line is this. My appt is at 6:30 Wednesday night so I just won't take anything when I wake up Wednesday morning. I'll take my last pill around 6:30 pm Tuesday night and be fine. I can deal with 24 hours, especially knowing I am going to get suboxone. Wish me luck. Thanks for all the support!

     
    Old 09-30-2009, 01:44 PM   #12
    Michael29
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    Re: Percocet Addiction

    Hey all-

    So, I went to the Doctor. My appt got moved up from 6:30 to 2:00 which was a relief for me. So, I got there and had to shell out a 100 bucks which was a tad on the annoying side but I guess they know you're desperate and take advantage of that. I got my blood pressure and all that and that was all fine.

    The Doc comes in and sits down with me. GREAT MAN. I couldn't have felt more relaxed and i could tell her genuinely cares about his patients. I explained everything. I told him what I took, how I took it, how long I've been using, what got me started, how I want to stop, and asked a ton of excellent questions that he answered. We were in the room for 30 minutes! I've never been in the room with my primary for more than 5 minutes.

    After we discussed everything, I asked if he'd be giving me a dose in the office and he said no. He told me it's for people that he literally cannot trust and has to do it that way. He, I assume, took into account my history, how short I've been using? I don't know but gave me a prescription for 34 8mg Pills (I found out my insurance will only cover 34 pills for 34 days.) The pharmacist did say that a simple phone cal to my insurance explaining I am under his care and will need more than that per month should be an easy thing to do. Anyway, he wants me to ONLY do 16mg per day. Half-half-half-half and write it down on the chart he gave me every single time I take it. He already wants to see me again Friday and I need to bring my chart AND my pills. He told me the visits one be as frequent once he can establish trust with me and see that I am serious (maybe thinks I may abuse or do something else with the pills?)

    Anyway, I just took my first half 20 minutes ago. Outside of a headache (no caffeine today, probably why) I feel slight relief but nothing major yet. I hope this stuff works. If I feel nothing in about 2 hours perhaps I'll take another half. Anyway, that was my day. Thanks for listening.

     
    Old 09-30-2009, 04:03 PM   #13
    Michael29
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    Re: Percocet Addiction

    Holy moly!

    So, after the first hour of taking my first half of an 8mg suboxone pill I felt no relief at all so I took the other half (a total now of 8 mg, one pill-which Doc said was okay to do) and I have to say not only are the withdrawals completely GONE, I am also sort of "high" which I was hoping didn't happen believe it or not. This feels completely similar to the euphoria you feel from percocet but I actually feel slightly "jumpy" for lack of a better word. I actually just feel GREAT meaning I am in a very happy place right now. I just feel very happy about myself and feel like I am really doing the right thing to change my life. Tonight is the beginning of my rehabilitation. What I am hoping someone here can answer is if i should expect this euphoric feeling every time I take this because believe it or not, I don't want to. I just want the physical symptoms to go away but I am afraid that if I feel this good every time I take a sub, I will get severely hooked on this. I don't know. I just don't understand why my entire body feels THIS GOOD right now. Perhaps the whole 8mg pill was just too much to take in one hour? Please someone shed some light on this cause the last thing I want to do is get hooked on this. My doctor did say today though that it's much better AND safer to take the sub any day of the week. Bottom line, I am so happy with my decision to make this change and what a difference a day makes. I know it's only the first day but so far, thumbs up to suboxone.

     
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