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Debdeb9899 02-25-2010 04:28 PM

I need help please
 
Hi. My name is Deb. I am 36 years old. I will try to explain my situation as best as I know how. I started on Vicodin about 3 years ago. I was prescribed them due to an accident and they really worked for pain. Then a relative of mine was prescribed 380 every 3 months due to his accident. He said they didn't work and offered them to me and I stupidly accepted because I was running out of my prescription with no refills and the addiction was already there. To this date he still gives me his script, all 380 every 3 months. I don't think I am mentally addicted because I absolutely hate the pills and the addiction but who knows. Maybe I don't think I am mentally addicted because I am. I am however physically addicted. I was taking on average about 4-6 vics a day on some days and 2-3 on others but atleast 2-3 every single day for the 3 years. I haven't had any withdrawal symptoms that I have read listed other than the leg cramps. My legs ache and throb and drive me to the point of insanity all day and all night when I cut down on my intake of vicodin. I am now currently taking 1/2 a pill (10/500's) in the morning, a 1/2 in the afternoon and then a 1/2 before bed. The past week I have been doing that and taking ibuprofin and/or alieves along with them. The alieve help some with the leg cramps but I am still in some serious pain. Nights are bad but I can usually force myself back into sleep through them, the days are the hardest. I try to relax and watch tv, read a book, but they just hurt so bad. Tomorrow I am going to try cutting out my morning 1/2. I just went tonight and bought Hyland Leg Cramp pills and Potassium, Calcium, Magnesium, and B6 vitamins. I am going to take those daily along with whatever Alieves I need and ibuprofin. I was wondering if this is the best way to get off the vicodins or if cold turkey is better. And if I go cold turkey will the leg cramps be unbarable? I would much rather wean off but I am not sure if that's just my addiction talking so I don't have to suffer through leg cramps. But I am also afraid if I do try cold turkey that it will be too much pain and end up in my taking more vicodin to get rid of it. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. As embarrassing as this addiction is, I truly sincerely want the vicodins out of my life forever.
Thank you for letting me talk here.
Deb

Debdeb9899 02-26-2010 01:26 PM

Re: I need help please
 
Sorry for bothering the forums. I thought it was still an active forum but I guess not. I see tons of replys to posts made after mine but nothing to me. So again sorry for bothering the board.
Thank you

Secrets1983 02-26-2010 01:40 PM

Re: I need help please
 
Welcome Deb!

Sorry, work has been chaos today and I have been meaning to reply to your post all day...

In my opinion and I have done it both ways tapering is the way to go if you can honestly stick to a taper and not cheat. Cold Turkey is TERRIBLE and it's something I would do almost anything to avoid.

I suffered terribly thru my taper but I did it pretty rapidly. I hope that things start to settle down for you. I truly know the misery of w/d and don't wish it upon my worst enemy.

Please stick around and make yourself at home. The board is very active but there as slow days as people do get busy and what not.... I look forward to getting to know you Deb. :wave:

Blessings to you.

Debdeb9899 02-26-2010 02:27 PM

Re: I need help please
 
Thank you so much for responding. I think I may have just been feeling grumpy and miserable today. I am pretty sure I can stick to my tapering honestly. I have my husbands support and all 3 of my children. I made sure not to hide my addiction from them so they will know the effects of what prescription drugs can do. I myself did not know they were addictive when my doctor first started me on them and I want that honesty with my children who are ages 18, 16, and 13. So I have the support system. Today I couldn't go thorugh the morning without the half, so I took it but have, or better yet am working on suffering through as I type and skipping my afternoon half. I am going to push through until 8:30 or so, take my night half and my vitamins, alieve, hylands leg cramp pills, and my lunesta for sleep. That will take me from 1 and a half pills a day to one pill a day. That's alot of other pills I am taking and it upsets my stomach but it's always better than the vicodin in my opinion. I have been down to only a half a pill at night once before a few months ago, but when the refill came in I relapsed. I ended up taking 3 right away just to end the pain because I was still suffering alot on half a pill. But this time I have cancelled the scripts so I have none coming in to change my mindset. I know I have to do this because I never feel good anymore and I need to get in better health, mind and body. I am currently working on my GED and going to start cosmetology school. But it's hard to focus on studying right now. I need to stop for health reasons too. I am 5'2 and have dropped to about 102 pounds when I am normally 110 since age 15 but I have no appetite anymore. I do know I hate vicodin and wish there were more strict regulations on how doctors can just hand them out like candy.
Like I said though, I have the family support but I know they truly don't understand what I am going through because they aren't. And it's so easy for them to say "Just wean off and be done with them" because they don't understand the intense pain. So I am grateful this board is here. My goal now is to become vicodin free and then use all my spare time helping others as they suffer through what I am suffering through now.
thanks again for listening and just being here. It truly means the world to me.
Deb

tomatoface 02-26-2010 09:11 PM

Re: I need help please
 
Hi Deb,
Welcome to the board! I have found it to be a great source of support and advice. I am fairly new here and have not had enough experience to advise you. But there are other members who have been through this before, and they will help you figure out what is the best course of action for you. As Secrets said, there are slow days, but I am sure that before long you will hear from some members who have experienced what you are going through, and they will be able to provide you with information and personal experiences which will help you get off the pills.
Good luck. Hang in there. You can do this, you WILL do this.
TF

StrahanFan92 02-26-2010 09:43 PM

Re: I need help please
 
Hello. You will notice it may take a day or so to get a reply, so dont get discouraged if no one responds right away. I myself only check the boards once a day.

It seems like you do not have a physical addiction to vicodin at all. However, you wont know for sure until you go 2 days without ANY. After 2 days the withdrawal symptoms usually kick in.

If your experiencing that much pain in your legs, then maybe its best for you to continue to use the vicodin. Perhaps you should go back to your doctor and explain your situation. He/she may put you back on vicodin, or something else. The pain that you are feeling in your legs is not a withdrawal symptom. There may still be a problem there with your legs.

If you do decide to quit completely, and you start to feel sick 2-3 days later, feel free to come here for help. I was using oxycotin, vicodin, percs, anything I could get my hands on for almost 2 years. I went through the withdrawal, just quit cold turkey. It was a complete nightmare. Just a few months ago I was foolish enough to start taking pain killers again. Had a death in the family, and I just didnt care. I wanted to get high and just spend time alone. It didnt take long for me to get addicted again. I went through withdrawal for a second time, this time only lasting about 5 days, but it was still a nightmare.

Its very difficult to deal with the withdrawal sickness, but it can be done. Once you are off the pills for a week or so, you will start to feel like your old self again. Your motivation will come back, you will feel great. You are not trapped in the state your in for life. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Best of luck to you.

Debdeb9899 02-27-2010 10:06 AM

Re: I need help please
 
I am confused. This is an addiction and recovery forum and someones telling me I am not experiencing withdrawal and to take more vicodin? I have been addicted for 3 years and I know for a fact I am physically addicted. And it's also proven fact that leg cramps and restless leg feelings are withdrawal symptoms from Vicodin. I have never had no much as a muscle cramp in my legs before I started the vicodin and they only set in when I am weaning off or if I just stop.
But anyways today I feel worse but better all at the same time. I feel worse because I barely slept last night due to the leg cramps but they aren't hurting as bad today. Just a numb dull ache through all my muscles and joints today. But I am also proud of myself. It has now been officially 27 hours since I had my last vicodin. And I am still hell bent on not turning back. I know in my mind that if I were to cave in and take a half now that I will be right back where I started. I am strong and I will do this. Just please, in the nicest way for me to say this, please do not tell me I don't have an addiction I know I do have, and please don't advise me or anyone else with the addiction to take more vicodin and to see my doctor about getting more. That's not the kind of support I need.
Thank you,
Deb

StrahanFan92 02-27-2010 11:01 AM

Re: I need help please
 
I was not telling you that you do not have an addiction. I think you should read my post again. When you spoke of leg pain, I assumed that is why you were on vicodin in the first place. In some cases, people have to weigh the use of vicodin against living with the pain they have, and for some, the best option is to continue the medication.

Restless legs is definitely a common sign of withdrawal, but having pain in your legs is not common.

You are really misreading my post, and perhaps I misread yours a bit too. I will not try to give you any more advise, even though I have been through this twice in my life. It is my intent to help people, not criticise them or tell them they dont have a real problem. Im sorry you took it that way.

nevamo 02-27-2010 03:56 PM

Re: I need help please
 
deb welcome 2 this board. I'm only here a short time myself, but I know you r in the right place. Tapering is definitely safer than c/t ( oh banish the thouyght)
I personally could'nt take c/t. Tapering IS! good but u need a certain amount of discipline. Listen! u can do it! We'll help u, but b prepared for a little bit of discomfort, the cravings will continually plague u even after the symptoms r gone. stick with us & keep us posted. Remember u r not alone......neve

Debdeb9899 03-01-2010 08:26 AM

Day 3
 
Well, I am going to make it and be vicodin free but this hasn't been easy. I am not sure if what I am experiencing is the same as everyone else but it's scary. It seems the pain from withdrawal comes and goes. Mostly the full body flu type aches and the non stop restless leg/leg cramps. Sleep has been a battle too even taking Lunesta. But the peaks scare me. Is this normal? Like this morning I woke up with NO pain at all. And I thought , wow I did it, but soon after I was up and moving around the pain returned. Is this normal? And about how long does it last. I keep the mental fear going that maybe I will go 2-3-4 weeks clean and still feel this way and then that thought scares me. And for any who have done this, am I getting close to being through it on day 3? Well it's been exactly 73 hours since I had my last vicodin and that was only a half of a 10/500 pill. I just want to have my legs stop aching. This is the toughest thing I have ever done. But with Gods grace and my own willpower and the support of family and friends I will make it. I won't relapse for the high because I personally only got a slight buzz off the first few vics I took. After that I never got any high feeling but then again maybe it was because the most I ever usually took a day was 4. I was on them for 4 years and just ignorantly continued to take them everytime I felt pain because they really worked.
Right now I have to try and eat. I have been taking vitamins, Alieve, Tylonol, Ibuprofin and Hylands leg cramp pills. Alternating of course but it's hard on the stomach. I need some now but I have to settle my stomach down first.
Then maybe try for a nap. Or maybe it's better to get up and moving around. I am not sure.
Hope everyone else is doing well and reaching your goals.
Hugs,
Deb

Debdeb9899 03-01-2010 10:30 AM

Re: I need help please
 
Well the nap didn't happen. Or eating. The second I laid down my legs started feeling restless again and I was afraid the pain would start again, so I got up and took another bath. I am at about 5-7 baths a day. As for eating, ugh, just the thought makes me sick. I am keeping fluids down though. I just called my mom to let her know how I am holding up and she offered to bring me over a chocolate milkshake for my stomach and it doesn't sound bad except I have been having cold flashes, so maybe I will drink it in a hot bath haha
It seems though that a bath can be good or bad for me. At times it really relieves the leg cramps and at times it seems to make them worse. Maybe I am running them too hot, I don't know. Or maybe I am taking them too often. I can be almost out of pain but knowing it will come back, I panic and take a bath. Maybe I should wait until I am in pain before taking one. Also if I turn on the jets it seems sometimes to help beating on my legs and back, but sometimes it seems the water pressure makes them feel worse.
I am alone today for the first time since my cold turkey quit, my husband is at work and my boys are in school. So it's making for a LONG day. And I want nothing more than to sleep it away but I can't sleep. I could take another sleeping pill but I won't. I am only taking them as prescribed at night until I am through this. Because even though Lunesta says it's not habit forming, all pills scare me anymore. I have been through so much in my 36 years of life, alot of painful situations, the birth of 4 sons, the loss in 1999 of my 7 month old son to interstitial pneumonia, so I have faced and dealt with emotional pain and physical, and in no way am I belittling the loss of my son, but physically this has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I am so proud of myself though to have made it this far.
I am also so very grateful for an outlet of my feelings here and for my parents, husband, and my children for being so supportive of me through all this. I find myself crying often when reading posts of people who don't have that type of moral support. If someone doesn't it's okay though. I know you're all strong enough to beat any form of addiction you have. I just remind myself every second, minute, hour, day that once I am through this withdrawal, I can finally be free. Free to be my true self and live my life to the fullest.
I just really wish I could sleep. I am so tired and my body feels as if it weighs 5000 pounds when I move. But it is getting better. My legs haven't been hurting as bad as they did the first 2 days. And I have been fortunate enough to have only had the cold shivers, and body/leg aches. My legs have been the hardest for me. But I haven't had nausia except when I take ibuprofin on an empty stomach, and no diarrhea at all.
I am going to beat this and I will finally be vicodin free, but for now it's still very hard going, and I am glad this board is here to come to when feeling down and miserable, and just let it off my chest.
Now I wait for my boys to get home because they offered me a nice foot massage after school. Which is so sweet and will feel like a bit of heavem.
Thank you everyone for just being here to listen and to offer a friendly, caring ear.
Deb

Dohna 03-01-2010 02:02 PM

Re: I need help please
 
Hi Deb, I would suggest you call the pharmacy regarding getting off cold turkey. Or you can go to an NA program look on line in your area. I'am no expert although I have heard that Vicodin is very addictive. Have you talked to a Doctor. If not dont worry about being embarrassed alot of people have been addict to
Vicodin and didnt mean to get addicted. Its better to open up and get it out in order for you to move on and get rid of taking the vicodin. You can do this. If you do not have a doctor then go to the free clinic regarding your pain. I wish you the best.
Dohna

Debdeb9899 03-01-2010 02:12 PM

Re: I need help please
 
My doctor knows all about what I am going through and I have discussed it with him and with several pharmacists and they all say it's a painful withdrawal process and just something I have to get through. They have all said mix up between ibuprofin, alieve, and tylenol. Along with the Hylands Leg Cramps pill with quinine, which work wonders, and my sleep aid Lunesta, fluids, hot baths, exercise and just work through the pain step by step. Today I feel as if I have the flu. My entire body aches and it feels as if there's no end in sight. I am 3 1/2 days clean. I just pray to God that it will start getting better soon.

silentwarrior 03-01-2010 03:01 PM

Re: I need help please
 
:wave:Hi.

I need to be out the door ( got an IV treatment for MS) but I wanted to share few things...

1. Lack of hunger: I get this from my Lupus and MS meds. I often rely on milkshakes to soothe tummy plus get something in me. Smoothies too. Got more to say on this but gotta hurry so...

2. Potassium: Increasing it naturally through food is ok...(unless can't eat....i throw banana in milkshake) but be careful with ANY AND ALL potassium OTC suppliments. Our range of K levels is not a big one. Get too little it can cause havoc. Get too much can be fatal. Solution? Have doc run blood levels and see where you are at.

I can get into how and why I know this...(I almost died) later. But I am passionate on this and don't want you hurt.

I was a college and semi pro athlete I got a few tricks up my sleeve for leg cramps.

Will post more later.

Peace, health and joy~~~

SW:wave:

mydaughtersmom 03-01-2010 03:10 PM

Re: I need help please
 
hang in there girl! keep the faith...although i have never been in your shoes, I have a daughter that strange as it may sound it wish she was in your shoes. She is still in denial. I will watch for future posts and pray for you.

mydaughtersmom


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