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OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.




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Old 02-01-2011, 09:37 PM   #1
corissa3
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OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

Its been such a long time since I used street drugs that I'm not sure I am going to be as "eager" and receptive to the advice and classes.
Im truly going to miss my girl. Things are breaking up and the lines of communication have been about 15% better than before but only the last couple of days.

The truth of the matter is I just might be scared to face the reality of my addiction, the truth behind the hurt... Why I hurt, why I hurt others.

No more are the days that I can sleep off any ill feelings I once had. I will have to address each issue daily. I'm gunna miss my kids hockey, waking up to my wife sleeping j/k. I will actually miss my wife dearly.

Anyway, thanks to all that have been an ear to talk to or a eye to read. Good luck to each of you, I wish you all the very best. If I don't return, I've relapsed and will be on a continent wide relapse binge that should last not more than 5 years. Again, j/k.

Oxygirl, Secondgo, take extra care.......... thanks and good luck.

Last edited by corissa3; 02-01-2011 at 09:38 PM.

 
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Old 02-02-2011, 04:59 PM   #2
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Re: OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

corissa

even if you do have problems you still come back here and talk to us. that is what we do. we pick each other back up when we fall. i know it is going to be hard doing that daily talk ****! excuse me. i just feel sometimes like it is so hard to tell someone your problems. especially if you have to do it in front of others. they all want to judge even though they might have worse issues! your wife is there waiting on you and that is great. I am glad things are somewhat better. it is a start. and the kiddies well they will be glad to see their daddy when he gets home.

Write and let us know how u are doing if you can. If not, we will look forward to hearing from you when u get out. regardless what u have to report back. it is always good to have a nonjudgemental ear or eye lol to talk to

 
Old 02-02-2011, 05:28 PM   #3
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Re: OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

Hey thanks...

I am leaving, well i have to be there for 7am tomorrow. Now, I am even sadder having to go cuz my wife has a hard time waking up for things (life). Her meds keep her tired. I took today for US so we could go to her doctors and explain what is going on with her. She comes from a very sheltered life and is soooo afraid of how people might judge her for being on narcotics that she NEVER speaks for herself and how she feels when at the doctors office.

I informed our doctor about the methadone I am on and she feels that he may look at us differently. I am 38 and 2 years older than my doctor (weird feeling) so I feel NO WAYS telling him how I feel.

Anyway, the methadone ramble...

I wont be able to use the computer but people please pray for me (just kidding) I tried that once and NOTHING so ......... be safe and I'll pop in and out annonymously here and there to see if ANYONE cares a little for a brother that they may find it in their hearts and posts something supportive...
Even if they don't mean it 100 %...

I'll even start it off...

-Good luck Corissa (the guy with the girls name...easy to remember)
-Get well soon
-Take it easy
-Just say no
-Stay strong
-Once you go black <-just seeing if youre still paying attention

These are just a few and I ve made it easy to copy and paste the canned response... lol.

Bye folks.

Last edited by corissa3; 02-02-2011 at 05:30 PM.

 
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Old 02-02-2011, 05:44 PM   #4
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Re: OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

corissa you are funny

I think you will be fine and remember god answers prayers but he also has his own will planned out and maybe that wasn't in the plan at the time. maybe your experiences are meant to help others. who knows. that is why we don't question god. so just be glad we can leave it to him and forget about it. I am going to pray for you and your wife. How long will you be gone from her? Maybe she needs this to become stronger. What types of medicine does she take that make her so tired? While you are gone this may strengthen your relationship with her. She will also realize what all u do and just how much she loves and needs u. Please go into this with an open mind. We will be thinking about you and rooting for you. I have my pom poms out right now. GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOOO CORISSA!

 
Old 02-03-2011, 02:12 AM   #5
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Re: OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

Hey Corissa,

I hope you're settled into your room and have met some people from the program.

I wish you lots of luck and hope everything works out for you. Stay strong, remember your goals and don't be afraid to ask for help - that's what the counsellors are there for....

emsmom

 
Old 02-03-2011, 08:49 PM   #6
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Re: OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

Hey guy with the girl's name

I'm not sure I believe much in the prayer thing but I believe in you. And I don't really mean you in the singular sense, but you in the powerful sense. I believe we all have within us far more power than we ever tap into. And sometimes we get lucky. Sometimes we hear the right words or feel the right energy to absorb and find we really can move forward. That's what I wish for you. That within this time you have those moments and bring that strength back with you.

So
-Get well soon
-Take it easy
-Just say no
-Stay strong
and thanks for making that part easy.

Report in when you get back. We'll be waiting.

Last edited by resolution09; 02-03-2011 at 08:51 PM.

 
Old 02-04-2011, 01:21 PM   #7
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Re: OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

Good stuff Corissa (i think the '3' is a bit impersonal in this situation haha). Stay focused, and when the days get hard, remember your family, kids, wife, friends, family, and US.

if you put an elastic band between your fingers stretch it out, then place a stone between and pull it back. what happens? the rock propels forward with a strong force. But it took that 'pulling back' to give it the strength to shoot! Any time something pulls us back in some way, we are usually propelled forward with a force we didnt know we had.

Right now might feel like your being pulled back against your will, but trust me, you will be propelled forward with such a force that nothing will be able to stop you!

not even gonna say good luck, because its not luck you need now, its your internal determination. Do us proud, and if things go awry, be sure to come back and tell us, so maybe we can learn from it!.....Peace out for now man !

 
Old 02-04-2011, 02:06 PM   #8
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Re: OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

hey corissa, i know you aren't able to be online probably but i wanted to let you know i am thinking about you. I hope you are sending the devil back to hell as we speak. I hope that I will be able to be as strong when my time comes. I am waiting for my knee surgery then I am going off all pain meds! I have had it with this crap. I feel like I am answering to the devil all day long. I am going to get my personal life together also. I am finally either going to take my one son who is at home and leave or else I am kicking my exhusband out. He holds me back and says mean things to me. No support whatsoever! I just don't know how to get him to leave. What can I do? I don't want to call the police and say okay arrest him! but he actually refuses to leave and then when he starts to act like he is going he starts cussing and breaking stuff. I feel so trapped. that is another story though. Not wanting to get off track here. I think he is a lot of the reason i reach for a pill sometimes. just to escape....

 
Old 02-06-2011, 06:00 AM   #9
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Re: OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

thats a tough situation, and yea its usuallly the people in our lives who stress us out the most,that make us rely on pills, etc, to get through the day. its a dangerous cycle. At least youre ackowledging it right now Oxygirl.

And next time you reacch for a pill, try to change your mentality, try to believe that its him wanting you to take a pill and suffer, and if you do, then you are making him grin. Stay strong!

 
Old 02-07-2011, 03:28 PM   #10
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Re: OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

thanks second go. I am going to do that. I am in the process of planning my new life! I am going to do it step at a time. The first thing I have to do is get my knee surgery, then I have to wait a little longer till school is out for my 7th grader because he is homeschooled and he can't be listening to too much of it plus i can't really take time off from him to do all this other. I am going to probably make my move in June. Anyways that is another story. Has anyone heard from Corissa? I guess he is still there which is good. He is like me in some ways. I think he has some emotional baggage to work out and that makes it all the more easier to grab a pill to ease all of the stress and pain. His wife is lucky though because not many men will come in and raise some other man's family for him! He is raising her two boys and trying to keep them on the right path. There are father's out there that won't do that for their own biological children! I think she is a little hard on him sometimes. He really wants to do this or he wouldn't be going through with the rehab. She should be grateful and supportive to him. He obviously loves her and by what he says I believe she loves him. This stuff is just hell on a marriage or a relationship.

Corissa we are thinking about you if you can read any of our posts. You are still in our thoughts. Please post when you can. Good or bad it doesn't matter because we are you cyber buddies not matter what.

How about Ravensgirl? I haven't read anything from her today. Maybe she is on another post and I just haven't seen her but hey girl hope u are doing well.

 
Old 02-11-2011, 01:48 AM   #11
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Re: OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

Hey Corissa

It is 345 am here and I am plagued with insomnia and though I would visit some of my online friends. I was just wanting to know how you were and to let you know I still have out my cheerleading outfit to cheer u on!

I found out yesterday that they want to do surgery on both of my knees---joy joy joy! So I won't be doing anything but trying to keep cutting down. I certainly wouldn't want to do this twice in a short time frame.

Keep us posted on how u are doing. We are thinking about u and rooting for you and your wife and boys.

 
Old 02-12-2011, 05:44 PM   #12
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Re: OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

Well I got a weekend pass ... Oh joy! I came home and made amends with my wife. I have received excellent treatment in the 10 days of intensive therapy. The classes are informative and men generally tend to cry in these classes and not the woman so this is all NEW to me lol.

The food could be better, I have gotten into one altercation with a 63 year old man that acts as if he is 12! I have enough respect for my elders to leave him alone and only ask the same in return.

WOW, addicts really need to talk to professionals to understand what we go thru.

NEWS FLASH !!!!!!!!!! Loved ones of addicts need professional help also to help them understand their emotions also.
They really do provide eye openers that will and can haunt for a lifetime.


OXYGIRL, SECOND GO AND the rest, thanks for the kind words. OG, knee surgery? I am gonna pray for you, and for my wife (for different reasons).


I leave to go back tomorrow night for another 10 days so this will be interesting. I am drugged up right now on new meds so forgive me for wandering off.

 
Old 02-12-2011, 06:13 PM   #13
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Re: OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

Good Job,

We are all worried about you. I am glad your wife is taking part in your recovery. Hey I read you are step dad.....My 2nd husband loves his step dauthger more than his own son...keep up the good work cuz only a REAL MAN would take care of another mans kids and you are making a change for the better.....give yourself a pat on the back.....hey you never wondered off, so you are doing great! Thanks for checking in..I am new and was worried about you..

Talk soon (maybe in 10 days),
Peace!
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Old 02-14-2011, 01:06 AM   #14
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Re: OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

Corissa I am so glad to hear from u. and that u are doing well. I am glad wife is doing well and helping to participate in your recovery. yes i am going to do the knee surgery thing because it is getting difficult to walk. I am only 42 and i am not going in a wheel chair. I have high hopes that this will help with a lot of pain in my legs. the neck is another issues but hey one body part at a time huh? I will pray for you also and your wife. Hope the boys aren't driving her nuts. I know mine are and their dad is here but not for long. He is part of my problem as we have all discussed in previous posts. It gets old repeating. lol gotta go computer is dying battery needs charged. My 13 year old has a fever that is why i am up. I think he has the flu yay joy

 
Old 02-18-2011, 10:30 PM   #15
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Re: OFF to rehab..having 2nd thoughts of leaving some of you without me.

back again on another weekend (long weekend) pass.

My last day of rehab is wednesday and i am almost done! I am so proud of myself that I almost want to do it again.

I have learned so much about addiction and how to deal with situations that I may encounter in the future.

Self esteem was probably one of the most important therapy sessions of all time. How you feel about yourself really does translate into how you view, treat and respond to others and temptations.

Anyway, off to enjoy some private time with the Mrs.

 
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