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Day 9




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Old 02-01-2011, 09:42 PM   #1
swim325
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Day 9

Withdrawing from oxycodone 100 mg's on weekends (fri, sat, sun). After lurking a good 5 hours a day here, this is my first post.

Days 1-3: Horriblest day ever, flu like symptoms, body aches, hot and cold sweats, anxiety, insomnia, the whole 9 yards. Worst is the insomnia, I'm still averaging about 3 hours a night even today.

Days 3-5: Most physical symptoms are gone, other than some anxiety.

Days 5-9: Almost back to normal, other than insomnia and still thinking about dosing constantly.

Like I said, my story is far from unique but the main reason for this thread is I need help with my MENTAL ADDICTION. There was a point where I was dosing everyday, but that only lasted 2 weeks, that is when I saw how serious things could get so I stopped immediately. I'd say for the past 2 years I've only dosed on the weekends. I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but my problem is I don't really see the pills as a huge problem in my life. I work a great office job, have a great group of friends, workout constantly and eat healthy. In fact I almost did a bodybuilding competition last month, I am probably the healthiest looking addict you've ever seen. I have no problem getting dates with women, and have a great love life.

The pills are my reward on the weekend after a typical work week. They make me feel so happy and I am more social and just more pleasant, they even give me confidence. I go out and while everyone is drinking I'm high off opiates. However after seeing it turn into a daily habit, and read all your stories, I see that it would be best for me to quit while I'm ahead.

Obviously I see this as a problem or else I wouldn't be making this thread. I guess I'm just trying to stop now before I get in too deep. I don't want to start stealing, going to the ER for more pills, or losing my friends/health. And I like these pills A LOT.

I've already decided on my next dose, which will be when I'm on vacation feb 12 (bad idea i kno!). It's stupid to set an exact day but I just see it as a reward for going 3 weeks clean. I hope to just take 20 mg that day, and only dose every other week. I guess my logic says, "i'm not ready to fully give this up, so 20 mg once a day every other week should be ok." My will power is pretty strong as I stopped as soon as this become a daily habit, gave all my pills to my brother to hold, and I haven't relapsed in 9 days.

PLEASE HELP CONVINCE ME I NEED TO STAY OFF THESE FOREVER. Mentally I'm just not willing to let go.

 
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Old 02-02-2011, 05:17 PM   #2
oxygirl
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Re: Day 9

Like you said, things can get outta hand pretty darn quick. I am 42 years old and never been addicted to anything in my life. My doc gave me oxycodone for arthritis in my neck. Hence 2 years later, I a
am a fullblown addict. I never take more than I am supposed to though but I find myself reaching for them when I want to feel good, not when I am having pain. I count the hours till I can take another one and i don't leave home without them. I made this little discovery when I was out of my pills and couldn't get them filled for 2 days. I thought I would be fine. No biggie. Well I was wrong, I thought I was going to die! Now I am trying to just not take as many as I am prescribed. I have to have surgery on both of my knees soon and now is not really the time to try to quit. Plus I am having major problems with my personal life.

You sound like you have everything going for you, looks, charm, personality, intelligence, you really really need to have a sit down talk with yourself. You are obviously missing something or else you feel like u are missing something. Re evaluate your goals for your life. You don't sound like you are a full blown addict or anything. Maybe you should change the type of people you hang out with. These are just suggestions as I really don't know your entire situation. Do you get these pills legitimately? Also, I would rethink doing the February 12th binge. It is probably not a good idea. If you can go a few days without them then I would stay away from them period. Take it from someone who knows first hand, it can get outta hand quickly and then it is very hard to turn back.
good luck to u and let us know how u are doing

 
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