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    Old 09-22-2013, 07:52 AM   #1
    LaurenTate1
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    I'm not doing so well

    Hey everyone. Here's the story..
    I've been a drunk for years and then 5 months ago I got prescribed Vicodin and stopped drinking because I found that the painkillers got me a nice energetic high without a hangover.
    So now everyone thinks I've been doing soooo great for not drinking.. Meanwhile I've become a secret pill addict... I have been 24 hours without anything and its so so hard. I was taking 30-60mgs a day of either hydrocodone or oxycodone.
    I put myself back on Prozac and Campral in hopes it with lighten my mood and keep me from the opiates. I have a 1 year old and a 5 year old... I'm going through hell and I have nobody to talk to because I don't want anyone to know. I fear if I tell my husband he will leave me and I can't handle that.
    I'm afraid I will turn to alcohol again as I have always done. I just want to feel better!!!! Even when I'm clean I'm not happy... So the opiates made me feel happy and it was nice, but I can't do it anymore. The highs and lows, up and down...Ugh. I hate everything right now.
    I'm a mess... My dad killed himself with booze and I am just like him with addiction. Why does my mind have to work like this? I want to be happy without the need of drugs or alcohol. I really need some help.. Insight? I don't know. Thanks for your time

     
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    Old 09-22-2013, 11:43 AM   #2
    Mikrob
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    Smile Re: I'm not doing so well

    Hi Lauren,
    I'm sorry you're not doing well. If you have only been taking prescription opiates for 5 month and you have been 24 hours without any you are on your way to feeling better. Tell you husband and family you are sick which is the truth and just take care of yourself for a few more days. Everyone is different but you should start feeling better in another 2 to 4 days. As hard as it can be go through withdrawal and it gets harder every time the difficult thing for me has always been staying away from drugs or alcohol after cleaning up.
    You will need someone to talk to for support. If you don't have anyone there are a lot of meetings in most areas for help from 12 steps groups (AA and NA) to Rational Recovery and others. There is group called SMART recovery online http://www.smartrecovery.org/. You can access SMART from home and it could be helpful. I am not a member of any group but they all have helped a lot of people.
    Hang on for a few more days...You can do it and you will feel better...

     
    Old 09-22-2013, 12:16 PM   #3
    LaurenTate1
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    Re: I'm not doing so well

    Thanks for responding. Right now I feel like I'm dying... This sucks. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do this without a doctor but I'm trying anyways.

     
    Old 09-22-2013, 01:34 PM   #4
    LaurenTate1
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    Re: I'm not doing so well

    I broke down and took a 50mg tramadol... It made me feel a little bit better. Manageable anyways. I'm not going to continue with the tramadol, but I have a couple and if it gets me through this then it's ok I think. Geez, thank god for auto correct... I'm typoing every word. Still feel like crap but I'm technically at 31.5 hours now. I hadn't calculated it earlier.. Was just desperately reaching out for anyone to talk to

     
    Old 09-22-2013, 09:25 PM   #5
    LaurenTate1
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    Re: I'm not doing so well

    ...& at 9am it will have been 48 hours.. Ugh I feel terrible!!! And my jerk of a brother called me tonight to see if I wanted to purchase any Vicodin from him. He got a very snarky "NO!" But I have to say, I almost caved just to stop feeling this way I'm hoping morning brings a little relief.... Once I'm cleaned up from this, does anyone know of an all natural and healthy energizing supplement? Nothing loaded with caffeine or anything like that.. Maybe just which vitamins help with energy?

     
    Old 09-23-2013, 06:47 AM   #6
    rosequartz
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    Re: I'm not doing so well

    I just wanted to say Hang in there, and be proud of how far you have come, you've made the decision and you're making the effort....Good for you!
    one day at a time, you can do it.

     
    Old 01-30-2014, 06:57 AM   #7
    Me2You51
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    Re: I'm not doing so well

    LaurenTate1, if you should come back again. The B-complex vitamins are wonderful for energy. When I take them, I feel an almost immediate sense of well-being.

     
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