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  • Anxiety/Trembling everywhere randomly--seems lifelong--adrenal issue? I'm lost!!

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    Old 07-27-2012, 10:41 PM   #1
    HonestMach's Avatar
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    Anxiety/Trembling everywhere randomly--seems lifelong--adrenal issue? I'm lost!!

    A few days ago I took my last dose of Effexor (a very low dose, I'vce been tapering for about 1.5mos...), which I was on for about the past 10 years... for the most part. before then there was a period I was on nothing--during which point I ended up hospitalized, long story lol but it was due to panic attacks/a vomitting phobia I've had since childhood--and before that I was on Zoloft for a few years (from like 8 to 11 years old.) I always assumed (as did all the shrinks I've ever been to ) that this was a psychiatric issue.. at 8 y.o. I was dx'd with generalized anxiety (hence the Zoloft, though it was a very small dose, half the starting adult dose), but I'm pretty sure I never had that. I was emetophobic. Something happened around 7-8 years old that it just started to get much worse. This in itself makes me wonder if it's an adrenal problem--perhaps an "inborn error of metabolism" sort of thing?

    it was around that age I was also getting migraines.. I didn't realize til more recently that that must be what they were; pounding on one side, got worse when I was active, I'd also get really nauseous.. I remember a few times freaking out because of that (because of the phobia.) And around that time I also recall vaguely a few specific incidences where I would get all trembling and shaky and then end up having a panic attack.

    Well for the past few days I've been getting the shakiness thing again. I'm not sure how to describe it other than it seems to radiate from my torso to.. everywhere lol. And I think it just gives me these horrible feelings because it reminds me of when I was little and had all these anxiety attacks and would start feeling sick and worrying that I was gonna throw up. So just this sensation alone now is causing me anxiety..
    maybe this is why I failed to go off Effexor and maintain any sort of sanity two times before this already.

    So I'm wondering if this is a physiological thing... I've been doing CBT with a therapist since last spring, on campus though at my school so I haven't seen her since the semester ended. I started out doing exposure-based stuff for panic disorder and emetophobia.. lol problem was I was so numbed out by the Effexor I w asn't getting the "response" you're supposed to get for that type of treatment (meaning it's supposed to freak you out at the beginning and then slowly not phase you much anymore.. it wasn't doing anything for me past the first few times I tried a few things.) I expressed this to her many times, that I'm concerned about my lack of a response basically lol, and how I want to go off Effexor eventually but I feel like I might be back at square one with all the therpy stuff once I do. Because it's like my whole consciousness is different on it vs. off... when I'm on it I don't get many of these physiological symptoms I've been describing. And basically, without those, I have no phobia... in fact, a few years ago-my freshman year of college--I wanted to go off it b/c everyone seemed so convinced I had clinical depression and I wanted to "prove myself" that I didn't. But I'd end up skipping 2-3 days and then getting all these weird panicky symptoms, waking up every night startled for no reason, not being able to sleep/being afraid to even go to sleep so I wouldn't wake up that way again.. etc.. and then I'd take another dose. On three separate occasions in a period of maybe 2-3 months, I actually ended up vomitting several hours after taking that dose. lol the irony is I took it to avoid the anxiety and it would cause me to vomit.. but that the anxiety I experienced from it making me sick was LESS than the 2-3day withdrawal anxiety I was having! So what is really going on here?! As far as I know (and I happen to be a psych major), there is no such thing as a medication that can "cure" (or at least so drastically diminish) a phobia..

    So the bottom line here is this is sounding more and more of a physiological issue and less a purely psychiatric one as my life progresses. lol. I was wondering if anyone knows of any adrenal conditions (or maybe this is something else?) that would cause these sorts of symptoms or induce anxiety/panic attack symptoms --and actually resemble an anxiety disorder-- starting in childhood and basically persisting at any time I'm not on antidepressants?

    I mean, it seems kind of weird that the only "exposure" thing that would truly work for me is to be in a persistent fight/flight freakout state, as that is basically the only thing that leads me to full-blown panic.. perhaps the phobia end of it has worked well enough.. I'm not sure though. Again just because I had no phobic reaction to certain things on meds doesn't mean I will be the same off them. Also, like I said the trembling issue, which may or may not be withdrawal as it seems I've experienced it before ever being on any meds.. makes it worse because it just gives me horrible flashbacks to my childhood. And I get these very dark dreadful feelings that I'm really not sure how to describe... lol maybe I also have PTSD!

    It also seems that being on effexor has depleted me of.. life lmao. So I've been very lethargic and unmotivated the past several years, I have an anhedonic response to food and sex... but my appetite and my sex drive can often get ridiculous! So that's annoying to say the least lol..
    and that's mostly everything really, like I don't feel accomplished or rewarded when I complete something, I just feel drained. That has actually improved very slightly since I stopped the med.. but everything is just something I have to "get over with", not something to accomplish as I never feel fulfilled in the end.

    I'm tired of doctors insisting this is all "in my head", doesn't help much that the only emotion I feel passionately anymore is really just anger/rage (well, and lust but I don't consider that an emotion LOL)--I keep telling people not to tell me to follow my "passion" because the only time I feel passionate about anything is if I'm angry and want to get revenge on someone or prove a point or get justice (like when I imagine a "career" of publishing research papers that get a bunch of incompetent doctors sued..not that that's the only reason I want that sort of job though. )

    I feel like I'm either slowly dying, or slowly being a psychopath.. or both.. I'm at a loss though, I feel like my own life is out of my hands at this point (which is depressing in itself so it's kind of a surprise clinical depression was never my "main" issue..)

    Last edited by Administrator; 07-27-2012 at 11:25 PM.

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    Old 07-28-2012, 04:58 AM   #2
    ToGoodH's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear how you are feeling. Physiological reasons can cause psychiatric conditions and the other way around is also true.
    The adrenals can get depleted because of anxiety. Vitamin B complex supplementation might possibly help with anxiety, shaking, tremors. Basically the B vitamins help with regulating stress hormones and they boost energy levels. How about EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique? Looks like you need to find something better in place of the effexor. For that you'll have to try figure out the heart of your problem obviously. The migraines you would get could be a hint.

    Last edited by ToGoodH; 07-28-2012 at 09:46 PM.

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    Old 07-31-2012, 12:11 AM   #3
    HonestMach's Avatar
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    Re: Anxiety/Trembling everywhere randomly--seems lifelong--adrenal issue? I'm lost!!

    yeah, people seem to presume that mind-body connections are unidirectional...urgh.. my mom has been telling me to take B's all summer as well. lol I have trouble taking them because the smell and esp. the taste I find nauseating... oh theres another fun symptom, Im rarely thirsty and if I try to drink as much liquid as everyone says I a few mornings ago I went to take the vitamin, then went in the fridge to get a drink, and just looking at the drinks was sickening, so i ended up not taking anything... drinking to me tends to feel forced a lot of the time (I also tend to crave salt and when that happens sugar and sweet things kinda gross me out as well...) haha so I do take B's sometimes, usually i wait for a time Im actually thirsty (which lately isn't often.)

    forgot to mention the intermittent flank pains...not a urinary issue as of a month or two ago..also not a thyroid or liver one.. the funny thing is the flank pain seems to disappear w/ the anxiety and/or shakiness. and has been much less frequent as i've decreased the med dosing (mostly since stopping entirely.) it seems worse if i'm angry, tired, hungry, or physically active (i.e. not living in today I've had hardly any of that shivering or panicky "my spinal cord is having a seizure" feelings...but have had that pain for most of the day and started sweating when the A/C went off. thats typical but insead of having like bipolar chills-sweat-chills-sweat, it's just twice as much sweat. haha. it seems lately my only options are anxiety or emotionless apathy, and s
    shivering/trembling or sweating..also funny that coffee seems to improve the shivering and anxiety issues...but also coincides w/ the flank cramping, extra sweating and postural hypotension. lol. might be because ive had to abuse caffeine while on effexor to take the edge off the "am i still alive?" feeling preventing me from that might be a separate (but physically overlapping) problem.

    other problem is my GPA that i feel like ive worked myself to the bone to keep in the low 3's for 3 1/2 yrs has now gone down about an entire grade point the past year, so unless I can figure out what caused me so much trouble getting out of bed before sunset the past year and find a way to retroactively get my records changed...byebye grad school and I'll just continue hating myself for being so lazy and incompetant and self-destructive.


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