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    Old 11-26-2003, 08:46 PM   #1
    StephMA
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    At what age are you "old"?

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    Last edited by StephMA; 11-29-2005 at 08:24 PM. Reason: I'm a wimp

     
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    Old 11-27-2003, 05:07 AM   #2
    cloverberry
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    Re: At what age are you "old"?

    I'm 51 and I don't feel any different than when I was 18. Your in-laws sound fine to me. Unless they're hurting someone, I hope I never grow up either.

     
    Old 11-27-2003, 08:59 AM   #3
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    Re: At what age are you "old"?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by cloverberry
    I'm 51 and I don't feel any different than when I was 18.

    Well cloverberry ... I feel like you ... I don't "feel" my age, whatever that means.

    Most text deleted by original poster.

    Last edited by StephMA; 11-29-2005 at 08:26 PM.

     
    Old 11-28-2003, 04:57 AM   #4
    cloverberry
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    Re: At what age are you "old"?

    I didn't know all the problems. I don't know if there's much you can do about them until maybe someone gets hurt. The trip won't be easy for them and maybe they'll realize they're not as young as they think. I always have to use a rail. It could be that it's really not both of them. It could be just one of them and the other one doesn't want their mate to know that they've gotten older. I don't know what you can do but pray.

     
    Old 11-29-2003, 08:57 AM   #5
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    Re: At what age are you "old"?

    I am almost 69 and do not feel "old" yet, but, my body does throw a few curves now and then to indicate it is aging whether I am or not!! My M-I-L (90) said she always felt the same as age "18" but her body was wearing out.

    Please remember that older people try to hang on to their independence as long as they can. I too will do the same thing. My parents lived to be 93 & 98 still living in their farm home alone. Hired help but they ran them off. Moving them to a nursing home would have been sure death, they would not survive being closed up in close quarters after being free country folks all their life. Both fell and broke their hips 1 month apart (hired help present) and both died soon after, neither made it out of the hospital. Their latter days were filled with needs but they survived and were happy to the end.

    Sooner or later parents will come to the realization they cannot go it alone and will accept help, but until they reach that point, you are wasting your breath. Best thing is to help out as much as possible, that is not being an enabler, it is showing parents your love for them and understanding that they need their independence as long as possible. I cared for my m-i-l in our home for several years after she realized she could not live alone anymore.

    Yes, I still do Thanksgiving and in the last few years asked others to bring a dish and I would cook turkey, dressing, gravy, and a few other things. This helps others to feel they are doing their part in a large family gathering and it removes some of the work from me. Daughters baking pies is a big help. Sons & daughters helping clean up after meal is a great help too. After all it is a large family affair and everyone needs to be responsible for it, they are adults now. I personally do not believe in family members coming and acting like guests. I always help the hostess regardless whether it is a family gathering or other when and if helpl would be welcomed. The hostess needs to be able to enjoy the time along with guests and family members.

    Remember the days when you could not wait to get out of your parents home and on your own, try your own wings? Well, your parents are wanting to hang onto their own wings as long as possible. They are not ready for the parenting reversal role.

     
    Old 12-07-2003, 12:09 PM   #6
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    Re: At what age are you "old"?

    I don't know if this will make any sense...I remember when I thought 20 was old...there I was...and now it's gone...then I thought 30 was old now here it comes and I know it's gonna go. My thought now on age is, is that everyone is going to get up there in numbers, so don't ever call anyone old. We're ALL in the same boat, you can't stay the same age forever. It's part of life!

     
    Old 12-09-2003, 03:43 PM   #7
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    Re: At what age are you "old"?

    airees, that's so true. When i was around the age of 12 i used to think that 21 was such a long way off and that by 21 i would be married and have children already. Then when dating a guy at 20 and he was getting all serious and saying how he'd like to settle down, i thought "ohhh noooo, i'm too young for marriage and kids". In the end i didn't marry till 29 and sometimes i think that was too young for me!! but it's true, you think that each up coming decade is ages away and that you have all the time in the world to do things, but you don't b/c each decade seems to roll around so fast.

    Steph, i'm with you on the fact that i'm too busy to even think of age or question whether i'm old or not and i don't even have children. I'll be 37 tomorrow and i feel just like i did in highschool and i've been lucky enough to not have any serious health complications. My parents are 65 and they don't listen to me either if it's any consolation, but i'm an only child so if something does happen and i know it will someday, it's all going to be up to me on how to deal with whatever happens.

    As for your parents, telling them not to take this trip is a waste of time. They will do it anyway. They probably think they are up to it while sitting in their lounge room, but once they get out on the road, maybe they will change their minds. Possibly they will get half way and turn around and come home. Do they carry mobile phones? is there any way they can keep in touch with you other than using public phones at rest stops?

    It's really out of your hands and you can only do the things which you have done so far (such as putting the railings up) appart from that it will only cause arguements. I guess some very old people become like rebellious teenagers and us children become the parents.

     
    Old 12-10-2003, 06:45 AM   #8
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    Re: At what age are you "old"?

    I'm 41 and I'm pretty sure I'd have NO signs of aging if I hadn't had 2 kids, except for the furrows between my brows, which get more and more "permanent" as the years go by. (They were already noticeable back in my 20s.) Ha, Botox can fix that if I have a special occasion.

    At age 33 and at 36 I delivered children. This caused my boobs to sag only a little and my abdomen to become flabby. Unfortunately for me that flab has NOT gone away, even with all kinds of diets and exercises. But it's a small price to pay for having 2 wonderful kids! I lucked out on everything else -- no varicose veins, no age spots, etc. So that's why I still feel like a 20-something inside.

     
    Old 12-19-2003, 07:28 PM   #9
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    Re: At what age are you "old"?

    Ha!! I am 23 and feel old already I suppose it is from having all 3 of my kids by age 20, or something but I am always tired, stressed and achy....Hmmmmm, hate to see what I feel like in 10 years! Lol

     
    Old 12-21-2003, 03:40 PM   #10
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    Re: At what age are you "old"?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by StephMA
    I came here hoping to find some advice about my 80+ year old in-laws who refuse to 'grow up' ... and I'm finding posts from people in their 30s and 40s and 50s who are complaining about 'age' issues.

    I was shocked. I'm 44, have a full time job, two young kids (4 1/2 and 6 1/2) ... I don't have time to worry about being old!!!!

    How old is "old"?!?!?

    Age is just a number, I've worked all my life and also am helping in raising my grandkids, work out at the gymn at least 4 times a week, have a couple medical conditions that should slow me down but hasn't yet nor will I let it. I'm 55 young, still weigh the same as I did in high school at 115. Yes I have arthritis and have since I was in my early 40's but it runs in the family, arthritis is not a normal part of aging,some people are predisposed to it while others aren't, In fact the stats are that over half of the people who reach age 65 DO NOT have arthritis. I would probably be like your in laws as long as I could to, no one wants to give up their independence. My Mom is still traveling the country at 76, I can't keep her down and i think more power to her, if I wasn't still raising kids and all I would be to. So "How old is old"? When you give in to it!

     
    Old 12-23-2003, 09:30 AM   #11
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    Re: At what age are you "old"?

    I hope never to find out the answer to that question. My dad learned to rollerblade in his 60's and I hope to follow in his footsteps.

     
    Old 01-21-2004, 08:37 PM   #12
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    Re: At what age are you "old"?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by frosty87
    I hope never to find out the answer to that question. My dad learned to rollerblade in his 60's and I hope to follow in his footsteps.
    I agree Frosty87,

    I am almost 54, born with Cerebral Palsy and living "young"! My wife is 40 and we are kids at heart My mother is 85 and my father is 82 and they don't know the answer either

     
    Old 01-22-2004, 02:32 PM   #13
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    Re: At what age are you "old"?

    I would say your old when your 50 and older but I"m only 23 and already feeling I"m getting old I wish I could stay 20 intill I diead.

     
    Old 01-22-2004, 02:46 PM   #14
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    Re: At what age are you "old"?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by gfd
    I would say your old when your 50 and older but I"m only 23 and already feeling I"m getting old I wish I could stay 20 intill I diead.
    GFD,

    I'm sure your outlook on this will change by the time you're 50, but I remember after my first divorce at 26, I felt old too

     
    Old 01-31-2004, 10:28 PM   #15
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    Re: At what age are you "old"?

    I'm 72, and I don't feel old. Worked until 70 yrs of age. I think you have to have a goal, something to look forward to, to work toward, even simple ones. Right now I'm thinking of the things I need to do in Spring. Take care of your appearance and feel good about yourself, be proud of yourself. Due to where I worked, I have 2 friends of 94 yrs. and one of 89. They take care of themselves, make up, hair. None are able to read due to eyesight but they listen to the radio and audio books and keep up to date on current events, etc. And they have faith. They're inspirations and I love them dearly. They, of course, think I'm just a kid. Enjoy every day somehow and don't dwell on your age.
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