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Some advice, please

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Old 07-30-2017, 06:11 PM   #1
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Question Some advice, please

I have an 85 year old father who is living alone. His wife passed away exactly two years ago today. He did not expect it and was completely stressed for the first year and had a terrible problem remembering and focusing on things. We all knew it was due to the stress. Now two years have gone by and he's better, BUT...he tells us all the same stories each time we see him...he has kept all his appointments straight but he constantly has to check to see what day it is and the last time that I went to visit with him (he lives in the next state over so when I go, I stay a few days at a time) I discovered that he had left four of his maintenance medications run out. They were two for blood pressure, one for cholesterol and one for prostate to help him empty his bladder. I have two siblings who live nearer to him but they both work and are busy with their families so they check in on him but he is there at home alone a lot. He does not want to leave his home. He also has Macular Degeneration and is slowly losing his vision, though he is not blind yet and does quite well taking showers and keeping his clothes washed, etc. I certainly don't worry about anything like him setting the house on fire or anything but when is it time to be concerned?

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Old 07-31-2017, 11:43 AM   #2
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Re: Some advice, please

Welcome to the board. You might want to look in with the Eldercare office in your state, or whatever it is called, to see what services might be available. It sounds like he would benefit from someone stopping in at least once per week to check that he has enough groceries, medications, etc. or perhaps, your siblings could set up a schedule where they could check in on a regular basis.

Is he still driving? I would think, with macular degeneration, that it is a matter of time before he will not be able to drive. With the disease, I think it is easier to leave the person in his home where he is familiar with the lay-out than trying to move him into a retirement home or assisted living...but eventually he may have to make the move.

Regarding repeating stories, etc., I'm sure part of that is that he has no outside stimulus to provide new memories! He probably sits home day after day thinking about the past, what he did with his wife, etc. Again, some outside stimulus would be helpful, or perhaps a half day or two of adult daycare where he could meet people and participate in activities might work for him.

There are many sources available online concerning Alzheimer's disease and dementia in the elderly. You will find many helpful tips that will help you to help your dad.

Old 07-31-2017, 01:27 PM   #3
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Re: Some advice, please

it's time NOW to be concerned.....
I put my moms medicine together on Sunday for the week and if something runs out we order it and pick it up the following week. He needs someone to do this for him at the BARE MINIMUM. Running out of medicine and just stopping it is dangerous and could be deadly. He obviously needs a little more "hands on" care than he has right now. Can you hire a care-giver to do these things and keep an eye on him and keep him company also? He needs it.

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