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I want to go home.

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Old 02-02-2007, 11:29 AM   #1
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I want to go home.

Hi all-we had to put Dad in NH today due to combo of AD and other ailments. Good place he has own hospice room. My question is What do you all say to them when they ask to go home? I was doing okay until he said that and now I'm a mess. Peace and joy-K

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Old 02-02-2007, 12:43 PM   #2
Martha H
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Re: I want to go home.

My Mom said that too, for a while. We answered, you'll go home when you are well again. These things take time.

Now she considers the NH 'home'. She went there in Sept 2005.

It takes time but they get used to it, and you know they are safe, warm, fed, clean, medicated, cared for by professionals - and you get your life back.



Old 02-03-2007, 04:15 AM   #3
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Re: I want to go home.

Home can mean a lot of things ...

it can mean they want to go to their room (wide open spaces are scary, their own private room with the door shut is easier to handle).

it can mean they want to go to a place they remember from their past ... (when they knew what was expected of them and how to do it)

it can mean they feel insecure and frightened

it can mean they are hurting (physically & mentally)

and you can't take it personally. I know that's hard when those big eyes look at you pleadingly and beg you to let them go home, but what they are asking for is to feel SAFE and SECURE and your doing that already by having them in a safe place where they are looked after.

I know .. when a resident first asked me to take her home I nearly had a fit .. I thought "OMG .. what do I say? How do I handle this?" when another carer intervened and said "Sure, we'll go home, c'mon" and led her to her room. Peace .. tranquility, calm. Made my life easier instantly.

Old 02-03-2007, 05:22 AM   #4
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lovemy2girls HB User
Re: I want to go home.

the little lady that I care for is at home and she use to say I want to go home all the time. she doesn't do that anymore. all the poor thing does is cry day and night.

Old 02-06-2007, 12:25 PM   #5
Join Date: Feb 2007
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ConnieCody HB User
Re: I want to go home.

We live with my mother-in-law and she asks if this is where she lives all the time. She wants to know when her mother and father who have been dead for over 25 years are coming to get her.

That's hard too, but we just keep trying to tell her the truth. She still forgets of course.


Old 02-06-2007, 04:01 PM   #6
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Lexington, KY, USA
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Horsegirl05 HB User
Re: I want to go home.

My grandmother has alzhiemers. Its hard seeing someone you knew and loved and respected go that way. BUt its okay. Realize that nothing you did caused it. Got that? Good, now one of the books I read was called "A Caregivers Guide to Alzhiemers" it gave a ton of insight and helped me ease my little mind. It tells you how they start regressing and such. Hoem for Gram means back in Tenn in 1938. She asks me who I am all the time and my mother and aunt and uncles too. (I'm sure you all know this tho) So when she says "Can we go home now?" and we are, we all usually dont know how to responde. My aunt changes the subject "Cant wait for the wether to clear up huh?" She usually goes on with a new convo. And yes, we are all taught NOT to lie, but sometimes, its being nice when we do. When you lie to them, its less stress and confuson. Everything runs a little more smoothly now, but its not always easy. Be strong...
The wind is bound in thy forlock, and ye have the gift of flight without wings....-Koran

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