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The end has come

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Old 04-01-2007, 08:40 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2006
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Jess22 HB User
The end has come

To all my good friends here at my strong board, my mom passed away today at 12;45. We have been at the hospital for around nine days and she had been almost completely comatose since around four days ago. Her kidneys stopped functioning on sat. morning and today our journey with this horrible disease has came to an end. My sister and I had been staying with her and she had just left to go home to shower and take Brian home. I was alone with mom and I feel that is the way the Lord planned it to be, he knew I had walked this long journey with mom through thick and thin and in the end it was just me and her. I had just finished giving her a sponge bath and I was talking to her and rubbing lotion on her legs when I said to her" Mom I think your going home today, and you will finally get to see all your brothers and your dad and mom and my dad" and I was just talking to her about what a beautiful day it was and I heard her make a little gasp and then she was gone. It was truly the most peaceful moment I have ever expeiranced in this whole journey with her. I know she was ready to go and I know her suffering is now over. I will miss her terribly but Oddly I feel sort of relieved. We will bury her on Tuesday. I have not had a real break down yet and I keep thinking I probably will or even should somehow but girls I feel so peaceful. My sister is struggling and I really feel empathy for her, I am not angry anymore or anything. Thank you to all of you who wrote to me and encouraged me so much during this time of my pain. My heart goes out to all of you who are still in the struggle and my praises to all because firsthand I know how hard it is. I will keep in touch, need your prayers in the next few days.

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Old 04-01-2007, 09:18 PM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2007
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seeingred HB User
Re: The end has come

You are in my thoughts, Jess. You're right--your mom is now at peace. What a beautiful goodbye! Now, she would want you to take care of yourself. Rest and remember all the good times.


Old 04-01-2007, 10:59 PM   #3
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Re: The end has come

Hi Jess,

I do not talk on this board very much, but do read. I am thinking about you and hoping that you will be at peace with your mom passing. She is so much better where she is now. Seeing all the people that have gone before her.

Do try to remember the good times and when you can, to make some more good times for yourself!

Take care of yourself.

Love, Wannabe

Old 04-02-2007, 04:13 AM   #4
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Re: The end has come

Dear Jess, I am so sorry. But as you said, it was a good death and you were with her. Now she is at peace. Her passing will cause grief and adjustments for you, but when you think about it, it was a good allternative to many more months or even years of suffering. I hope your feeling of peace continues.

I made reservations to go to NY later this month. My Mom's time is coming nearer also, and I never know if I will see her again. This Board is still one of my lifelines.



Old 04-02-2007, 07:44 AM   #5
Join Date: May 2005
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janeslk HB User
Re: The end has come

So sorry, Jess, for your loss. Your last conversation with your Mom reminded me of the death of my MIL a few years ago. Although she did not have AD she had lapsed into a coma following an unsuccessful brain surgery. As we waited at the hospital for the inevitable, a chaplain there suggested that my FIL and her children go into her room separately to bid her farewell.

It was one of the best things in terms of dealing with grief for her family. No one shared what they had said to her, but all of them felt much better. She died a few hours later.


Old 04-02-2007, 08:12 AM   #6
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Re: The end has come

Jess....I am so sorry for your loss...but your mom is now in a much better place. She isn't suffering anymore. I know what you mean about feeling a sense of relief. I feel that I will feel the same way when my own mother finally passes. We are still travelling this awful road, and it's just getting harder.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time.

Old 04-02-2007, 09:17 AM   #7
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liz1104 HB User
Re: The end has come

i am so very sorry for your loss, i wish you much peace and you are in my thoughts.
i have just started on this board, as my dad was recently diagnosed and it is truly an awful disease and it breaks my heart.
this board is wonderful and i have read alot.

hugs to you.

Old 04-02-2007, 06:05 PM   #8
Join Date: Feb 2007
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petal*pusher HB User
Re: The end has come

Jess....I'm glad there are many shoulders here to share your grief. We all know that our loved ones "leave" us long before they are actually gone.

You Mother was fortunate indeed to have a loving daughter like you! Peace is what we all wish for in this horrendous disease, and your Mother finally was able to find it. I surely hope you will also find yours. Sending love your way, my friend......Pam

Old 04-02-2007, 09:53 PM   #9
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ladylinda09 HB User
Re: The end has come

I am brand new to this board and I just read your post about your mother. I woke up this morning thinking about my mom who passed away in 2001 from Alzheimers. She dwelled in that place for 9 long years. I want to offer my sympathy and say that I understand your feeling of relief and peace. Now, take some special time to rest and be good to yourself.

Old 04-04-2007, 09:08 AM   #10
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Re: The end has come

Dear Jess,

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm also very sorry I didn't see your thread sooner.

What a beautiful way to say goodbye. It sounds as though your mom was waiting for your approval before she left. And you gave it to her.

That relief that you feel is how most of us felt when my dad's father died of AD and heart problems. It's like you're being freed at the same time they are. I was relieved that my grandpa was free from the prison in his mind. I was relieved that my grandmother could breathe easy again without having to worry about where my grandpa was and what he was doing 24/7.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please give your son an extra hug and tell him it's from us at healthboards. After all, he's the one who brought you to us and touched us all.

God Bless.

Love, Barb
Live, Love, Laugh.

Last edited by LuvMyLilDoggie; 04-04-2007 at 09:08 AM. Reason: typos

Old 04-06-2007, 12:41 PM   #11
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Re: The end has come

Dear Jess,
I come to this board sometimes as my grandmother suffers from dementia. I have read your posts in the last weeks and know you have been looking after your mother. So when I pulled up the board and saw your "subject line" I just felt so bad for you. Can I tell you that you sound like such a brave woman to me. Your mother was obviously a wonderful woman to raise such a caring daughter. It takes a special kind of person to look after parents in this time of life and an awful lot of love. As everything has said including yourself, her pain and suffering is over now and you have the peace of knowing your mom left knowing you were with her right until the end. This is a blessing that not everyone has in life. I'm sure you will miss her but look no further than the mirror when you want to see her as she will always be with you in your heart and your blood!!! God bless and I'm so sorry for your loss!!

Old 04-08-2007, 05:11 AM   #12
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zonk HB User
Re: The end has come

Jess, I keep typing things and then deleting them
I cant really express how I feel for you and your Mum
My thoughts are with you for Tuesday
Love from Jo

Old 05-06-2007, 06:53 AM   #13
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Laner HB User
Re: The end has come

I'm sure it is a relief and please don't feel guilty for feeling relieved. You were there till the end. No one could have asked more! I am proud of you for being there for your Mom. She must have been a good Mother to instill in you the need to take care of her. My condolences and prayers are with you!

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