It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

Good things don't last

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-24-2008, 06:31 PM   #1
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: charlotte, nc, usa
Posts: 7,249
Gabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB User
Good things don't last

After a few good week's Mom is in another melt down. She has cried for two days. According to her Dad wants to go home (in reality it's her but she always transfers her emotions to Dad), she doesn't have any friends and no support system (four daughter's busting their butts for her is not enough). She refuses to use the call system of let the staff help her. She's hates staying in that room but.... she won't leave the room, thinks she needs to stay in the room because of Dad (even when the sitter is there), refuses to go to any activities.... and she refuses to even talk about Dad moving to a separate room. No matter what you try to do with or for her she just sits there and cries telling us that we don't know what depression is. For four years she has used that as her reasoning. Everything is Dad's fault of depression related. She even convinced her GP that she did not have ALZ, just depression for over 2 years. It's like she's stuck in that frame of mind that life is horrible and there's nothing that can be done about it so she's going to blame it on Dad and depression. She is on her fifth medication change in 10 months and the saga goes on. She is definitely in a funk and there is no talking her out of it. All she says is that she doesn't see why they can't just go home and die.

I have suggested, to sister 4 that doesn't like my suggestions, that Mom be tested for a UTI but this is such a familiar situation that I doubt that is the cause. I guess we are back to square one......

I leave in the morning to help my daughter clean out a storage unit and move two bedroom suite, then to Mom and Dad's house for the weekend to clean out with sister 2 and 3, (sister 4 is staying close to Mom), and back to my daughters. I have a message scheduled for Monday with my favorite pair of magic hands. Live goes on......

Love, deb

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 06-24-2008, 10:10 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
DrewsG's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Illinois usa
Posts: 690
DrewsG HB UserDrewsG HB UserDrewsG HB UserDrewsG HB User
Re: Good things don't last

So sorry deb. I know you have done all you can for your parents. All I can do is wish you luck at your daughters and your parents house. Sounds like an awful lot of work. Wish I had some real good answers for you. Don't work too hard and maybe when you get back your Mom will have turned the corner, so to speak. I know, thats asking for a miracle. But sometimes they do happen. Chris

Old 06-25-2008, 03:55 AM   #3
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 126
Janie5301 HB User
Re: Good things don't last

Deb, just never ends does it? I'm so sorry and wish there was a magic pill your Mom could take to get her into a better state of mind. I can't imagine how your dealing with all this but it sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. Make sure you take care of you and know that we are all praying for you!

Love Janie

Old 06-25-2008, 06:32 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Buffalo/Niagara Falls, NY
Posts: 514
sunnydaze1 HB User
Re: Good things don't last

I'm sorry, Deb. This whole ordeal is so emotional, isn't it? I can only echo what others have said and hope that things will get better in time.

Regarding the call button, does your mom know how to use it? My mom could never understand at all what it was for or how to use it. Now she's on chair/bed alarms because the neurologist does not want her up for even a second w/o assistance.

Best of luck to you, Deb, and enjoy every minute of that deserve it!

Old 06-25-2008, 08:45 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: charlotte, nc, usa
Posts: 7,249
Gabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB User
Re: Good things don't last

.... and neither do bad things!! After three days of Mom sobbing, sister 4 arrived to take her to the dentist this afternoon and found her laughing. She has a tooth which will be surgically extracted July 7 but seemed to find life pleasant anyway. Guess we will just have to see what tomorrow brings. She can be such a Jekyll and Hyde. If I knew what caused the reversal I would save it for the next time but who knows.

I have spent the afternoon and evening with my daughter. We sorted the storage unit, made a recycle run, have the GoodWill and trash runs ready as well as the furniture that needs to be moved. Then we went out to eat Mexican (at 10 PM) and took a swing by the ocean for a 15 minute walk. Now I am falling in bed. Just glad the smile surfaced on Mom's face this afternoon.

love, deb

Old 06-26-2008, 04:28 AM   #6
Martha H
Senior Veteran
Martha H's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 4,693
Martha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB User
Re: Good things don't last

Deb, you are wonderful. In the midst of all this pain, you can enjoy life - a walk on the beach (green with envy here in the midwest!), a dinner with your sisters. That's what we have to do --- when the bad stuff comes, say "this too shall pass." And it does.



Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Aggressive treatment not always good jeanine36 Lyme Disease 28 03-15-2008 06:41 AM
Marcia, good luck tommorrow with surgery sammyo1 Open to All Other Health Topics 23 02-15-2008 05:43 PM
(good) memory and epilepsy SentenceDoing Epilepsy 4 08-22-2007 04:11 PM
Off antibiotics for good sleeperwoken Lyme Disease 38 04-02-2007 05:15 PM
Life still not good after breakup Fibrana Relationship Health 12 07-13-2006 08:53 PM
I WAS having a good time, until... Hiya Relationship Health 300 11-02-2005 04:57 PM
Today was not a good day. emma_j_21 Relationship Health 7 07-24-2005 11:51 AM
Dating Multiple People at the same time--good or bad? SophiaM Relationship Health 176 06-14-2005 02:58 PM
in love with a guy thats no good for me angelbyheaven Relationship Health 50 01-19-2005 02:11 AM
Good news! Update about previous Dr. Vent!!! Daized Fibromyalgia 2 07-29-2004 08:24 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:10 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!