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Another week in Edinburgh

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Old 08-30-2008, 12:38 PM   #1
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Another week in Edinburgh

Hi everyone,

Just got back from my week in edinburgh and I can tell you i'm frazzled. My younger brother who stays with my mother has became incredibly rude. He uses copious amounts of foul language, and I just humour him until the week was up. My sister-in-law who is seperated from him can see it far enough going down to the house to help. She taked care of the three weeks looking after my mum, and I do one week 24/7

The GP has decided that she is to go back on aricept. This is after the fact that they took her off it, and she hasn't had any for two whole weeks. No one informed us. The just arrived from the pharmacy a few days ago. I enquired at the surgery regarding the medicaton, and that's when I found out.

My mum is incredibly morose, and follows us around all the time. The other day I went to fetch her out of bed and she just lay there for approx. 2-3 minutes with her mouth working, but no sound coming out. We can't get her to eat a meal anymore. She just eats one round of sandwiches twice daily. I dont't know what else to say. She smokes a lot

Thanks for letting me rant.

xx mentalmum08

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Old 08-30-2008, 01:39 PM   #2
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Re: Another week in Edinburgh

Welcome home mental. Sounds like you needed to vent for a while. Bless you for giving your sister in law a week's break. As for your younger brother, it sounds like he is not handling the situation very well. Sometimes all you can do is shake your head and try to let the insanity roll off your back.

If your Mom is forgetting how to speak and not eating foods except sandwiches which are considered finger foods, I do wonder why the physician would put her back on aricept after being off for two week. Why did they take her off to begin with? I, like you, would question the wisdom of that decision.

Your Mom definitely needs to be watched when she smokes. The potential for danger is so great. Dad stopped smoking before he was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia. Then a few years later he decided he smoked and did for a while but then he stopped again mainly because they were not available. If he sees me smoke he wants one. Otherwise he doesn't mention it. Therefore I don't smoke in his presence and make sure the cigarettes are hidden. He has not had one since we shared a smoke hidding behind the storage building the day he left home. Yes, it is one of my treasured memories. Me and Dad being BAD together Oh how we giggled!!

Again, welcome home. Kick off your shoes, put up your feet, grab your favorite cold beverage, take a long deep breath, and relax. You can wash all of your towels and other laundry tomorrow You did good!!!

Love, deb

Old 08-30-2008, 02:03 PM   #3
Martha H
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Re: Another week in Edinburgh

Glad you got back home. Pity the person whose 'home' is with your Mom.

In some ways, all rules are suspended when a person has Alzheimer's. Smoking can cause lung cancer ...well, the Alz patient probably won't live long enough to get it. However, she needs to be supervised before she starts a fire.

Any medication that helps her to be calm is good. The use of anti anxiety or sleeping pills in Alzheimers can be very helpful.

Food is good - if her body can still digest and process it. When my Mom's body forgot how to use food, there was no sense in making her eat.

It is a horrific disease, one I would not wish on my worst enemy. Perhaps your younger brother's bad language is just a sign that he cannot cope, he is at his wits' end.

I never encountered any other disease that breaks up families like this one does. Evryone thinks they know the right thing to do, rarely agree with each other, and wind up angry at each other instead of at the disease.

Good luck - rest now, you have earned it.



Last edited by Martha H; 08-30-2008 at 02:04 PM.

Old 08-30-2008, 05:46 PM   #4
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quetzalmom HB User
Re: Another week in Edinburgh

Dear mentalmum,
Your sister-in-law must be splendid. Seperated from foul-mouthed brother and still shouldering the load? Good lady, as you are. It occurs to me that I would love to see Scotland. Perhaps you, or someone else here, would love to see Virginia. As our loved ones are confused, perhaps we could just trade places for a while. Seriously, I'm with the others here, kick off your shoes, set aside what you can't fix, and relax.
All the best,

Not to change topics, but Martha, can their bodies really fail to process food? I've heard about forgetting how to swallow, but not this. My mom looks like a starvation victim, and she eats, a lot, I've seen it. Please elaborate.

Old 08-30-2008, 08:13 PM   #5
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Re: Another week in Edinburgh

Yes, the body goes into 'shut down'. The doctors said even tube feeding would have no effect. My mother stopped processing food in April of '07 and lived until December '07 , weighing only 75 pounds by then.

I must mention however that my mother was 99 years old when she died. It may not happen this way in younger patients. Yet there is definitely a connection to the brain not functioning normally any longer. Her medicines were also not showing up in her blood work. It was as if everything her body took in went out again unused. They stopped her various heart and BP drugs months before she finally passed away. She died of some quick infection - fever, short recovery, death. Not of the heart trouble at all ... making me really wonder if all those meds did not cause the brain damage that caused Dementia while not really necessary for her heart - but what do I know? I am not a doctor or a scientist ....

I just know those were hard years.



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