It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

My mother is in the hospital

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 09-03-2008, 06:58 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: pa
Posts: 5
alishasmom HB User
My mother is in the hospital

The last time I was here my mother was doing ok but since the weekend she fell, and has a utI and now is in the hospital.. She is confused but happy, I go to see her during the day while my kids are in school.. My family is asking what I want to do when she gets released.. I feel like a terrible daughter if I say nursing home because she is very happy at my home.. I also do not know if I could make that decision.. I know that it is alot of work trying to take care of my 2 kids and mother but I don't feel like I should give up yet..O h yeah my sister wants her to go to a nursing home before she leaves the hospital. my brothers don't really give their opinion because they come visist once every two months.. my sister also doesn't go out of her way she comes up for a few hours once every 3 to 4 weeks.. I just wanted to vent because I just don't know what to do..

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 09-04-2008, 04:53 AM   #2
Martha H
Senior Veteran
Martha H's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 4,693
Martha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB UserMartha H HB User
Re: My mother is in the hospital

Going straight to a good, loving NH after the hospital stay is a good way to transition. If she has any fears or rejects the idea, you can always say it is just temporary until she has fully recovered.

I don't know how far along your Mom's AD is, but two kids and a Mom with dementia is too much for anyone. Since your sister agrees, this sounds like a good plan.

My Mom went right to a NH after the operation on her hip. At first it really was for Rehab -- but as it became clear that she did not cooperate enough to ever learn to walk again, she just stayed there. After a while it felt like home to her.

if you bring her to your house, you must at least get your sister and yur brother to take one day a week each as your 'break' ... whether they take her to their homes or mind her at your house.

Think it over very carefully before deciding anything.



Last edited by Martha H; 09-04-2008 at 11:50 AM.

Old 09-04-2008, 10:09 AM   #3
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Centralia, IL
Posts: 63
shellbelle HB User
Re: My mother is in the hospital

A hospital stay provided the transition to a nursing home for both my dear mother in law and father in law during the past year and a half. Family and friends kid with me that this was the only way I would ever had placed either one of them in a nursing home, and they are probably right, but it was the best thing for both of them and their care.

MIL has Alzheimers, which was progressing at a more rapid rate and we knew we were going to have to think about NH placement soon, as she was already too far progressed for AL ... but then she had a massive stroke right in front of us one evening last March and lost all use of her right side, speaks very rarely, but she still recognizes us her face just lights up with her beautiful smile when she sees me, her son and our daughter.

MIL is just 77, but FIL is 90 and was able to stay in his home with our daily help/care until this past Jan. 1 (his 90th birthday) when he complained of stomach pain, I took him to the ER, and he was diagnosed with colon cancer ... he had been getting much frailer over the past year or two (couldn't get in and out of bed on his own) and after the surgery to remove the cancer, he had a permanant colostomy, so that coupled with his lack of mobility required that he at least go to a NH from the hospital for therapy.

FIL has transitioned much better than we expected, and though he is sad to be out of his home, but he is in the same facility with his wife and it is close to us so we get to see them often. They take very good care of both of them and I am very grateful for that, because if I had any question about care, I would probably be fool enough to try and bring them both home. We cared for them for more than 5 years, with the last 2 or 3 years really being the hardest as their needs increased and my daughter started school and had a busier schedule.

It's good that your sister is on board with transitioning mom to a NH ... my husband is an only child and even though sometimes it felt lonely with just the two of us handling everything, I'll take that over some of the experiences you all have shared about dealing with siblings. The social worker at the hospital should be able to help you start looking at suitable placements, so you can make some visits and get as much settled in advance as possible. If you find a good spot, I believe now is the time to take it. Going to the NH from the hospital has got to be better than going from your own home.

All the Best to You and Take Care!

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
My mother is crazy and my heart is broken TopamaxKillsMe Caregivers 11 03-26-2011 11:37 PM
my mother's hardships tophatdan Women's Health 12 03-11-2010 10:03 PM
Mother is Dying of Lung Cancer, sister doesn't care... Abigail121 Death & Dying 15 09-25-2009 04:45 PM
My mother had a stroke, last night. Ex calls... EDC_Light Relationship Health 14 05-25-2009 12:48 PM
Very Scared Endometrial Cells On My Pap Test My Mother Died Of Uterine Cancer At 49! cartlin Cancer: Uterine 5 08-11-2008 03:10 AM
Please, I need help for my mother. Tommy212 Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill 20 02-28-2008 08:47 PM
Mother and Sister are Bipolar - I feel despair lianau Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill 8 03-28-2007 09:16 AM
My mother took her life merissamae Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill 1 10-08-2005 08:37 AM
My mother... please help.... happymom2b Pregnancy 2 06-06-2004 03:30 AM
Mother & some Insurance Information Cymy Sue TMJ Disorder -TemporoMandibular Joint 13 10-13-2003 06:35 AM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:35 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!