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Trying to be strong

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Old 09-21-2008, 06:30 AM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 306
craftlady HB User
Trying to be strong

Each morning I wake I pray that I have the strenght to handle the day.
There is still so much to do. Yes mom is being takin care of, so thats not one of the things. Mom is running out of money. I need to get her on assistant. Then there are all her bills from her "old" house. I need to call all these "bill" places and let them know what has happened. I also need to get her place packed up and moved. I just dont feel like I have the strenght for this anymore. My nerves are shot and my heart feels like its running a race. I know with time everything will fall into place, its just so hard doing it all by myself.

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Old 09-21-2008, 07:41 AM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Adrian, Mi. USA
Posts: 445
petal*pusher HB User
Re: Trying to be strong

Craft...we're are not all by yourself. Sharing challenges and listening to others is what this is all about! I know are overloaded....

There are quite a few here who are bearing this burden on their own...and you will get excellent advice. I come from a family of 6 "kids" in the beginning, responsibility was split between the 4 closest in location to Mom. That changed in 2 years to me being her only visitor...but one brother takes care of paperwork.

Watch your health! When you mentioned your heart racing...I developed atrial fibrillation 3 years into this...a couple ambulance trips and days in the hospital brought about heart meds...2 bouts of shingles...and other stress-related health conditions.

You were right to get your Mother in a safe environment. You will learn how important it is to take a little time "just for yourself"'s obvious what this horrific disease will do to our loved ones...but what it does to US often takes us by surprise.

Sending love and prayers your way, my friend.......Pam

Old 09-21-2008, 08:16 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: charlotte, nc, usa
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Gabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB User
Re: Trying to be strong

I understand exactly what you are saying craft. You feel like the more you do the more you see needs to be done. That there is a never ending list that swirls in your head and doesn't seem to get any smaller. My best advice is take it one step at a time. Is the social worker helping you with the medicaid assistance application? Is that paperwork in place? That is your first concern after the well being of your Mom. Call all the bill places and let them know what is going on. Eliminate all expenses that you can. We had cable, phone, and other unnecessary bills stopped. Then you can take care of the house one piece at a time. Make youself a comprehensive list with specific items you need to do and mark them off when you accomplish them. Call phone company is one, call cable company is another. When you call them go ahead and change your mom's address to yours. Then mark off that item. That way you can physically see what you have accomplished. I go so specific with my list that I put cleaning out the freezer, the refrigerator, clearning out the food stuff, going through the closets at mom and dad's all as separate items. I was checking off items so fast it truly made me feel I was accomplishing something.

You also have to remember to take care of yourself. Eat right, get some exercise, and do something just for you each day. It will give you the mental break you need to keep going. Then look back to where you were and how far you have come. You made it this far and you can make it the rest of the way. Know that we are all behind you pushing, ahead of you pulling, and walking beside you to encourage you. I will keep you in my prayers, keep you supplied with towels, and even give you the rocks you need to throw....

Hang in there......

Love, deb

Old 09-21-2008, 05:26 PM   #4
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Rixeyville VA USA
Posts: 85
quetzalmom HB User
Re: Trying to be strong

Dear Craftlady,
I know how it feels when the tasks seem insurmountable. Deb's ideas are right, break it into small pieces and chew 'em up one at a time. A..stop unnecessary outgo of Mom's money, B. document what she has and apply for assistance. Breathe, and take it from there.
Wishing you all the best,

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