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What stage is my husband at?

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Old 01-20-2009, 11:50 AM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Hilo, HI 96720
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Ada1676 HB User
Unhappy What stage is my husband at?


Happy New Year everyone!!!!

Wish it were for me. At this time the stress level is high.
I know everyones stress level is not good.
Especially if you are dealing with the messiest part of
Alzheimer's, incontinence.

Husband is unable to find his way around the house.
He is unable, to find the most important place, the bathroom.
Many times, he does not recognize the toilet. So he pees in the trash
in the bathroom or bedroom. They are the same. One night he p**Ped
next to my bed. He was unable to find his way to the bathroom. I guess
he couldn't hold it any longer,so he p**Ped where he was at that time.
The bathroom, is a few feet away, straight ahead from my side of the bed.

Now I am hesitant, about letting him, spend the day or night, at my oldest daughters house. This is most worrisome, when he has to go to the bathroom.
Daughter has a new house with wood flooring.

Take care,


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Old 01-20-2009, 12:33 PM   #2
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Location: NJ, United States
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caringsister54 HB Usercaringsister54 HB Usercaringsister54 HB Usercaringsister54 HB Usercaringsister54 HB User
Re: What stage is my husband at?

you should start using a portable commode and put it next to his side of the bed OR put a diaper on him at night.

Does he sleep? probably not and therefore he is up and about, you need to get a sedative so he'll sleep through the night with the diaper on.

Let him go to daughter's house. You need the break

Old 01-20-2009, 04:20 PM   #3
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BlueAtlas HB UserBlueAtlas HB UserBlueAtlas HB UserBlueAtlas HB UserBlueAtlas HB UserBlueAtlas HB UserBlueAtlas HB User
Re: What stage is my husband at?

Great suggestions, C.S.

As far as going to daughter's house, I would make sure she understands his current goings on and let it be her decision. If she's willing to deal with it, let her take part in her dad's care and let yourself have the break you need. Do you have other help, in home or day center breaks so you don't burn out?

I wish you the best as you lovingly care for your dear husband.


Old 01-20-2009, 09:47 PM   #4
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Location: Kentucky
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GrownUPdadsGirl HB User
Re: What stage is my husband at?

Hi Ada,

We went through this for the past 6 to 8 months with my Dad. Or, my Mom did. It was a chore for her. You might try scheduled trips to the bathroom every 1 to 2 hours to help with the accidents. We kind of learned that just before we did NH placement. Also, with the cleanups, I bought industrial strength cleaners from an industrial supply distributor. Mom also used a carpet shampooer everytime. You are probably like my Mom and know this but I am not domestic so I was impressed with her efforts. Mom is a neat freak. In 8 months only once did I ever smell that NH smell. And he had lots and lots of accidents. I would definitely think about meds to sleep at night. That is one of the main things that got my mother down. There were nights he did not sleep or slept a couple of hours. It was a 24x7 job. You need the rest. Best wishes and hang in there.

Last edited by GrownUPdadsGirl; 01-20-2009 at 09:47 PM.

Old 01-23-2009, 07:06 AM   #5
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UPBonnie HB User
Re: What stage is my husband at?

My mom does this to. I am trying to get my sister to understand we need to get her in a place that is used to this.I am not, and it is so hard.

Old 01-28-2009, 02:08 PM   #6
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: nv usa
Posts: 76
rekem HB User
Re: What stage is my husband at?


Probably the stage where some visits to local NH"s is appropriate. Been in similar position with spouse - physician didn't want to prescribe sleeping medications unless adult diapers were used and fluids were cut off late afternoon. Even so with a top & bottom rubber sheet - you may end up with a 'water-bed' even tho you don't have one. Adult diapers are easy to place and replace - usually a thin colored line along the crotch that changes color when urine is discharged - so you know when its time to change. AND changing the wet diaper is very important due to the type and amount of infections that occur with prolonged exposure to wet diapers.

I did not accept sleeping medications at that time as the bladder needs to expel waste materials on their time frame - not mine or that of a medication.

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