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Combine stages

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Old 02-25-2009, 02:14 PM   #1
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Combine stages

can a person have combine stages of alzheimers?
My father in law is still at home, with mother in law he is better on the combativeness but still refuses to hold urinal ( makes his hand shake when placed in it)or do anything for himself. except he does feed him self.
I was wondering if you can be in between stages. He hasn't loss his ability to speak, he still cannot walk without help refuses to walk more than 20 paths every night, needs sit to stand for getting out of bed and to pottychair . my husband's brother and our family switches out every week to walk and get into bed. He is so angry with us. Can this be the namanda or the respiradole?
they will not consider putting him into another home, bad experience. it is driving me crAZY AND I AM SO DEPRESSED. My father in law could do more but he refuses. We have all seen him do things for himself if no one is around (WAtch through window) but if he is mad he will pee in the floor. I voice my opinion but hey i am just the daughter in law. i do go when they call and i try to help when every i can, but i hate it. I feel i am a terrible person.
My mother has this too but she is a sweetie. she does every thing she can to keep it at bay.

it is like night and day. yes i know everyone is different.

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Old 02-25-2009, 02:42 PM   #2
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Re: Combine stages

You are right Hill.... every one is different. My mom is angry at the world and spits venom frequently along with being stubborn and hard to deal with. My Dad is usually a sweet heart. They lose their judgement, ability to think logically, and the social graces they have learned early. That leaves behind some that are mild mannered and some that are just plain difficult. It is not something they do intentionally, just something that happens.

As for being between stages... absolutely. It all depends on what part of the brain is effected and when. Mom has manic behavioral changes, her judgement is shot, and her ability think logically is fading fast. She has totally lost her abstract thinking (number in particular) and is losing her ability to retrieve words. She dresses inappropriately but........ she still gets up every morning and takes her shower. She refuses help and fights what she doesn't understand. Dad, he's definitely an oddity. He doesn't know where he is or what year it is. He can't remember anything short term. He wants to go home to help his Mom milk the cow and has hallucinations. Yet he remembers my face and calls me by name. He refuses to shower but he will fix that hair to perfection. He has times of totally inappropriate behavior and incontinence, yet other times you wouldn't even know there was a problem. Dad loves to have help and accept whatever comes his way.

So it's not suprising that Mom and Father in law are different. Each is displaying behavior related to what part of the brain is affected the most and rooted in their basic personality. My best guess is that your Mom has always been a sweety and your father in law has always been a bit of a pistol!!

You are doing what you can. All you can do is be there when the family calls and do your best while you are there. There is no way to logically have a discussion with FIL to make him different. It is what it is and the best you can do is find little tricks and techniques for dealing with his behavior.

It is known, that for some, Namend causes behavioral changes that are not pleasant. If the doctor agrees you can cut back on his dosage or eleminate it totally for a short time to see if the behavior changes. If not he can go back on it. If there is a dramatic improvement... then you know But that decision will have to be left up to the family and doctor. There are others on here that have tried it and I am sure they will tell you of their experiences.

Hang in there....

Love, deb

Old 02-25-2009, 03:57 PM   #3
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Re: Combine stages

I am sorry for your frustration; it is understandable.

But if your FIL has Dementia, he cannot help any of the things he does. He does not do it on purpose but because he can't help it. Even if he can do it one day and not the next, he is not pretending, he has forgotten what he did yesterday and may be able to do again tomorrow. It seems as if they are just being ornery or extremely difficult, not cooperating and angry. Yes they are angry - but not at the caregivers even though it seems that way. They are angry that the world has gone mad from their point of view, they don't know what is going on, they suspect they are losing their minds and can't stand it, so they get mad.

One day he can pee in the potty, the next day on the floor. Not his fault. He can't remember what the potty chair is for. Tomorrow he might remember. Or 15 minutes later. When someone scolds him for peeing on the floor, he doesn't know it was him.

My suggestion is get him into a good, loving nursing home! Yes, there are such places. After taking care of my Mom for 5 years it turned out she was happier and getting excellent care at a nursing home, with 3 shifts of personnel, each coming in well rested and trained for the work they had to do -- not one exhausted daughter, sleepless and harassed, and at her wits' end. Don't give up on the idea without visiting a few of those places. You may only be the daughter in law but you can voice your opinions, speak to your husband , get some facts for them all to read. Yes, the patients can vary between stages from day to day or minute to minute, nobody follows the chart exactly, and all caregivers are desperate from time to time. Good luck!



Last edited by Martha H; 02-26-2009 at 03:10 AM. Reason: sp

Old 02-25-2009, 06:27 PM   #4
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Re: Combine stages

I agree with Martha he doesnt do it on purpose. My fil lives with us. And if he is out and about you would never know something is wrong with him. I see it as plan as day cause he is with me most of the time. He is a big 2 yr old at times and at times he is his old self. I thought also he was doing it on purpose and at times it still feels that way but I know differently just by being here. Just dont let it get to you. You cannot change him. I have tried and somethings will work. When I am about to blow I just leave out of the room cause its not his fault even when I think he does it on purpose. So hang in there!


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