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Advice is needed

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Old 04-01-2009, 08:53 PM   #1
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Advice is needed

My 92 year old mother with Alzheimer's has a twin sister that lives six hours away in a different state. I received a call today that my aunt fell and broke her hip. She is not doing very well and my cousins don't know how long she will be with us. They called my mother today to let her know but my mother got all confused about who was in the hospital. My mother found a list of phone numbers that we gave her a few years ago. She began calling everyone on the list to let them know that I had broken my hip and was in the hospital. You can imagine the number of calls that we received tonight. I can't see my mother who lives an hour away until Saturday but I'm not sure what to say if anything. It really breaks my heart because my mother and her twin sister have always been really close and I can't see anyway they will be able to see each other again.

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Old 04-02-2009, 03:45 AM   #2
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Re: Advice is needed

That's sad. If your Aunt does not make it, would it be possible for you to keep that fact from your mother? It would be best for her not to know. But with so many other people involved, that might not work.

I wish you all the best.



Old 04-02-2009, 07:35 AM   #3
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Re: Advice is needed

I was thinking the same thing. Not to let her know what happens. My mother is declining rapidly. I just spoke to her nurse at the assisted living facility and she said my mother is getting very aggitated and extremely confused more than ever lately. She also thought it would be a good idea not to let her know about her twin sister. The nurse also suggested that it is time to remove the phone from my mother's room. My mother has a list of phone numbers of relatives and friends. She has been going down the list daily and calling. If somene is not home or answers she leaves a message, she then proceeds to the next number. Once she's through the list, she lately has been starting all over again. I have to convince my brother that the phone needs to go. He still feels it is a lifeline for her.

Old 04-02-2009, 11:15 AM   #4
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Re: Advice is needed

I find it best not to tell my mom about any mishaps in our family, as she does get very confused as to what happened and to whom. There have been some deaths of people she knew, young and old, and I don't tell her because I'm afraid she might think it's one of us kids.

I know it's difficult; but more than likely, your mom has cherished memories of her sister that will always be with her regardless if she ever sees her again. How blessed you are to still have your mom and aunt at age 92!

Old 04-02-2009, 09:10 PM   #5
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Re: Advice is needed

I agree totally. It is best to keep the information to yourself and not tell your Mom what is going on. She will just get it all confused. She will know something tragic happened because they remember feelings but not the details. Then again she will forget and relive the shock each time she is reminded. So it is best to just keep it to yourself.

I am truly sorry you are having to deal with this situation. It is definitely not easy. But you have to look at Mom and what is in her best interest.

Love, deb

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