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Regrets. I wish. Do it now.

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Old 09-23-2009, 07:52 PM   #1
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Regrets. I wish. Do it now.

Reading the posts - is it OK to have one where we can ramble where we wish? I was fortunate, a loving home and parents who supported and encouraged so that my brother and I have enjoyed full, professional lives.
I know my mum was illegitimate in 1913 and her mum kept her. She worked in a cotton mill at 13 and was the dogsbody to later younger siblings. Dad had a stepmum he hated. I know about their nursing careers, how they met etc.
I wish I had asked more questions before dad died and mum went down the sad ALZ road. Strange how these things don't matter until it's too late.
Basically I am saying...if you are reading this and there is still time, ask now.
I wonder if we should write down the events that shaped us for when our children look at their lives?

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Old 09-23-2009, 11:53 PM   #2
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Re: Regrets. I wish. Do it now.

In part of the clutter that we stripped out of mom's room there was a journal. She had evidently started it after she went to AL. The first part was rather clear. Then there was a break followed by some rambling and then he clarity came back. It was a history of her meeting Dad, Their dating, engagement, wedding, early life, the birth of each of us... It ended with a short piece addressed to each of her children and grandchildren and what she thought of us. I have it locked in the fireproof box at this point. My sisters have copies of their pages but it's a treasure to be sure. I wish I had the same from Dad. What I do have of his is a genealogy that he worked on for years before his dementia took so much of it away. That I absolutely treasure

Love, deb

Old 09-24-2009, 03:13 AM   #3
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Re: Regrets. I wish. Do it now.

A couple of years ago a cousin of mine asked for the dates of birth and death of my side of the family and I did that, kept it up to date.

My 5 years living with Mom as she slipped into dementia were rich in communication. (a nice way of sayng Mom never stopped talking). I already knew many of her childhood stories but now I know far more. I have jotted down some of it. I am not sure if my kids or grandkids would be interested.. at least not until they are old.

When my grandson was born my daughter gave me a little book to fill in the blanks and give back. It is 'my story' and in it are a few details about my own life.

Personally I enjoy talking with people in my own generation about their childhood, youth, training etc. Yet I doubt if the generations to come will care. I guess a few dramatic stories would be of interst, like my Mom emigrating to the USA on a ship at age 17, with a cousin. She had never seen a banana until that ship's dining room and began to cut and eat the whole thing, peel and all!

One of my depated uncles told a story of his arrival in the port of NY in winter a few days after a snowstorm. He said to his mother in German ''Mama! In America der Schnee ist schwarz!" Mama, in America the snow is black! It was dirty from the coal dust in the air, NYC in 1926...

Some of these funny stories I have written down.



Old 09-24-2009, 03:37 AM   #4
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Re: Regrets. I wish. Do it now.

I have learned so much about my mom and dad's family mostly from the last 5 years when I moved back into there home to take care of mom. My mom talked alot about her family her mom sisters brothers and her father.
I found it to be so interesting because I really didn't know to much about them. I felt a better connection to mom when she would share these stories. I had left home when I was 18. Even though I was still living nearby and was close to my family I felt I learned so much more in these past 5years. She still will talk about her mother mostly how she misses her is what she will say now.

I think it is important to try to get as much info on your family history as you can or want. Afterall,it is a part of who you are

love pauline

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