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nola4 11-05-2011 10:29 PM

The end is coming closer
Today my mother took a turn and the hospice nurse says she has taken a definite turn . we are looking at a few days to a week or so before she is gone. I do not know how I will handle this as I know I am not ready yet for her to go or maybe I never will be. I know I have no choice but to let go.

I wanted to share what I consider a true sign. I began a couple of weeks ago questioning my faith of life after death. I did not know how I could handle her leaving if there was no life after death. So I began telling my mom to send me a white cat from her. But one night on the way home while crying and feeling distraught I prayed to God. I knew I should not ask for a sign from him to help me let go of my mom but I did. I asked God to send me a sign. I asked him to send me a kitten. I wanted to choose something that was highly unlikely a coincidence. So I actually out loud said God please send me a kitten so I know for sure you are there for my mom. I actually said it cannot be given to me or be from a cat around my house that I knew was pregnant. It had to just SHOW UP at my house.

Last Friday my mom took a turn for the worse. she was put on oxygen. On saturday morning when I woke up my husband came in and said my dog had been barking at something in the garden. when he went to the garden there was this little tiny black kitten. he brought it inside and it was so small and so sick. No one had any idea where it came from . we live on a dead end street with plenty of places for someone to have dropped a kitten off before my house, no cat around us was pregnant yet there in the garden was a little kitten that had JUST SHOWN UP at my house. We took him to the vet becasue he was so sick. he was treated and is doing better now.

I know some may still doubt it as a coincidence but I and everyone else I tell the story too believes it was my sign that I asked for. It has helped me to know that my mother will be alright.

ninamarc 11-05-2011 10:41 PM

Re: The end is coming closer
I am sure God is with your Mom and will be with her in the end. Hospice does a good job to make sure the person goes in peace. I am sorry that your Mom is getting worse fast... It must be heartbreaking for you. Take the kitten as a sign. I am a believer too. If it comforts you, think that way. There is nothing wrong with our faith. Trust in God and hope your Mom will go in peace. Praying to God and hope he will comfort you as well.

Take care,

Gabriel 11-06-2011 06:29 AM

Re: The end is coming closer
Nola, we each have our own way of preparing ourselves for the inevitable. There is no right or wrong, just what works for you. You know what you believe and that is what matters :)

As for being "prepared"? I don't think any of us is ever prepared even when we know it is coming. Something inside us hangs on to denial and hope. That is just what us humans do :) It is always a shock to lose a loved one but in time we recover from our loss. We all do it our way, in our time.

I do hope you took the kitten in. It will be a comfort to you!

Love, deb

meg1230 11-06-2011 07:48 AM

Re: The end is coming closer
Nola. Will you be ready? Are we ever? My mom died July 29th...though there was a brief moment when I felt panic as she lay very near death..the panic subsided and what was left was the joy of knowing I was there with her. It isn't easy but it is much more manageable then I thought. I cried more in the days of anticipating her death. Her death was such a belssing that I cannot mourn it. This disease was brutal to her. I knew I had to let her love her enough to let her go. And then to go on and make her proud. She was a strong woman and I watched her bury her own parents and siblings and two husbands. SHe taught me how to do it.

THe morning my mom died I came home and as I walked through the door my cell phone rang with an e mail. I looked at it and the heading of the email was " I AM STILL HERE" . It was from the the Alzheimer's association. I felt her at that moment and knew it was a sign sent from her to me. I feel her all around me.

Trust yourself that you can do this.

Love, Meg

TC08 11-06-2011 12:30 PM

Re: The end is coming closer
Nola -

I am so sorry that you are facing this ending. I love what Meg said "trust yourself that you can do this." I LOVE the kitten sign!! Although I feel my faith has been very challeneged through these now years of dealing with this awful disease, I absolutely believe in a loving God and that we are eternal beings.

How wonderful that you *asked* and He *answered*. Take comfort Nola. Know there are many of us that are here for you - 24/7. Feel us all around you - embracing you in a big 'ol ****{hug}}} of comfort and support :angel::angel:

debbie g 11-06-2011 03:25 PM

Re: The end is coming closer
its so hard to face. you will be ok its just the anxiety is so overwhelming. be with your mother now and love her. she needs you around. please take care of yourself especially being pregnant. your mom would want that. say hi to the kitty.

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