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Old 08-01-2012, 08:38 AM   #16
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Re: New to board - would like opinions

They are so much in their own world! The elders with dementia don't know what is real anymore. The first time we realized my late FIL was not in a real world went back to 2006/2007. He did wire money twice (first time with the wrong account no.) It is money and the utility bills that showed his funny logic. He thought the lawyer wanted to change the wills while he just asked my late FIL if he wanted to change it. My late FIL actually bothered to ask for another lawyer from his friend thinking he wanted to sue my husband???We were able to explain it fortunately (just said the money was all his.) My husband was so mad at his Dad. The other time was when he thought there were 2 people of the same lady (she was at home and work - both places confused him and also she married twice with different last names. One of the names was his colleague's name.) Thinking back, he was confused by the reality. At first we thought we could tell him otherwise. Then he was upset wanting to go out in the dark to find the lady he was talkng about - 2 ladies for him to chase after!! Hard to choose which lady, he said it in the hospital once.
He was kind of self-centered before AD, but he then got more ridiculous. He forgot his elder son thinking he was the cousin...
I imagine it was hard for my husband to see this. I gradually learned to observe it and tried to understand dementia.

It had been 7 years of confusion for him. It is a terrible disease.
It is kind of a mixed emotion because we know he no longer suffers this disease and yet feel sorry that he was gone earlier than we thought.

It is good that your Dad didn't want to go home or anything. If it is hard to get into the car, maybe you can try to rent a van. Also, the NH has their own outings once or twice a week in their own van. Take advantage of that.


Last edited by ninamarc; 08-01-2012 at 08:47 AM.

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Old 08-06-2012, 01:54 PM   #17
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Re: New to board - would like opinions

It is a terrible disease. My Mom can not even respond to me anymore. I still visit and take her in her WHCR for outdoor walks, after all, she cared for me when I was little and growing up.
I hope and pray that they find a cure (apparently they have just recently made some important discoveries). I am terrified of ending up that way.

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