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update on my MIL

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Old 09-20-2012, 08:23 AM   #1
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update on my MIL

Well it has been three weeks since she broke her leg and hip, She is finally making some progress just these past few days, she has been moved to a rehab center so the atmosphire is very different, everything is geared toward getting better, because of her broken leg she can not do alot of things, because of the incessions from putting in the rods in her leg they could not cast her leg, so she is confined to her bed, it has been really hard, she is just now getting up with the nurses help and sitting in a wheel cchair, this is going to be a long recovery for sure, I am sure that she will not be able to go back to assisted living but instead will need the next level of care where they have someone there 24/7. it will be a huge lose of her independence but with her parkinsons this looks to be the best way to go. My SIL law is turning out to be a nightmare!!!!! in fact we had an all and all out war the other day over the POA. while my MIL lived up north her poa was her neice, who is a CGA, so this worked, but now that she is here we wanted to have the poa transvered so that both my SIL and hubby shared is because of course we are here, well my god you think that we were robbing the national treasure or somehting, my SIL has gone off the deep end about this, all we wanted to do was get things all in a row and have the authority to help my MIL and my SIL wigged out.... it was alful, With all the troubles I had with my mom I never once ran into my sibbles second guessing anything i did, fact is they never did anything, my SiL and hubby are now not speaking to each other and There are things that I can help with but SIL is not having anything to do with me... My SIL is convinced that we want this done so we can have control over my MIL money, even though the brother and sister would share the POA. She does have a problem with her anger and this is not the first time that she has blowen up and wigged out, even her daughter said that she sometimes just does this. I do think that my SIL has some real mental problems. any way, I don't have anyone that I can talk to about these troubling times, I sure hope you guys don't mind me using you as a ranting/backing board, If you read this far I am sure you will think you are reading a soap opera... stay turned for the next episode.

hugs to each and every one of you, and thanks for letting me rant.


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Old 09-20-2012, 08:57 PM   #2
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Re: update on my MIL

Judy, family drama with dementia is usually a soap opera. If there is more than one there is chaos. I have a good friend that is an only child who has parents with dementia. She often tells me she would love to have a sibling to share this with and I assure her that sometimes it is NOT that easy. It absolutely appalls me how money issues rear up and take precedence over caring for loved ones with this disease. So vent on!! I understand totally. So many of us have been in your same situation that you are not alone and we do totally understand. Just hope SIL will settle down and you can all do what is best for MIL.

Love, deb

Old 09-21-2012, 03:39 AM   #3
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Re: update on my MIL

Jags, As an only child and a mother with vascular dementia, I have often wondered if it would be easier if I had a sibling. After reading your post, I guess it could cause more of a problem than a help. I do understand your frustration and you and your hubby do not need more stress on top of what you already have. Hang in there and rant all you want. Sorry you have this added burden.

Old 09-21-2012, 10:11 AM   #4
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Re: update on my MIL

My FIL with alzheimers has his wife and 7 children (all but one have spouses), and things are just a mess. They used to be the CLOSEST family I had known. Since his diagnosis, there are many who do not speak to each other any more. Some dont want to hear how he is doing, yet want their opinion counted when it comes to his care. I sympathize with you and have come to learn that you will never please all of them. My husband and I live with my MIL and FIL and do a great deal to help them out, but it seems that what we think and feel matters to no one. So we have both decided that we will do what we can do and not worry about what others are or are not doing. The hard part tho is that we see and hear everything that goes on while the others get bits and pieces, yet think that their opinions are equal to ours. Not much you can do, and I wish I had some real advice to give you. Just know that I totally understand how you are feeling. If my FIL knew and understood what this illness has done to his family, he would be mortified. Glad that he doesnt "see" whats happening!


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