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Husband cut tips off 2 fingers... how to deal?

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Old 11-05-2012, 04:23 AM   #1
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Mama85 HB User
Husband cut tips off 2 fingers... how to deal?

Hi there,
My husband cut the tips (the nail portion) off of 2 fingers at work 2 weeks ago. I felt and still feel badly for him. He's recovering well, but I feel like there's an emotional side of it that hasn't passed... even for me. Rushing to the hospital was very tramatic, I know for him but also myself. You never want to see a loved one get hurt, so it's also greatly affected me.

It could have been a lot worse so we're greatly it's only the tips. How do I deal with this going forward? I think he's managing it better than I even am. What bothers me is that we told his parents NOT to tell anyone, as we didn't want to make it a big deal and people don't even notice your hand after something like this. I guess someone slipped the news and I'm extremely upset with his parents. My husband is taking it well but I want to protect him and I get really defensive. We haven't had any family functions for anyone to say anything, but as soon as someone does I'm going to jump on them and say rudely "We rather not talk about it." I even emailed his parents to ask why they told people when we specifically told them NOT to.

My husband needs his time to recover mentally and we don't need to make a big deal about it and let the whole world know.

I just don't know what to do or how to feel anymore. I love my husband no matter what but I feel so badly for him, and us as a family. I feel like people will think less of us, or look at us differently. And I don't want people cracking jokes or even bringing it up.

I just want to protect my husband I love so much... he can be too nice someitmes and I don't want people taking advantage of that and bothering him about it...

Just need some advice.. thank you so much.

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Old 11-05-2012, 07:11 AM   #2
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Re: Husband cut tips off 2 fingers... how to deal?

It sounds as if the problem with your husband's fingers has nothing to do with him, and everything to do with you and what you think people will think of you. I agree that if your husband asked that people not share this new information then that should be respected, but besides that, you need to know that two finger tips do not change a life or a family.

Please talk to your husband and share your concerns for him and for yourself. I am worried that you are going to hinder what sounds like such good mental health on your husband's behalf by focusing on things that. Thank God your husband is a healthy man. Please focus on that and stop <worrying>.

Last edited by Administrator; 11-05-2012 at 08:09 AM.

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Old 11-05-2012, 10:03 AM   #3
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Re: Husband cut tips off 2 fingers... how to deal?

I am so sorry this accident has left you feeling so vulnerable and upset. I agree that your wishes should have been honored when you asked your family not to mention this accident until you were both ready. While in some families, the support and concern of family after anyone has an accident could be very helpful, but if you feel in your case that you would rather this remain private, I can understand why you would be upset.

From here, I would concentrate on keeping you and your husband comfortable, and try and not allow the actions of others to add to the already upsetting incident.

We all have the right to choose who and when we share things with others, and many people would rather keep medical issues to themselves. That is certainly your right.

When you do attend your next family get together, for example, you will be able to set the tone for any questions or comments. I would hate to think of anyone joking about this, but remember that is some folks way of dealing with things that they are uncomfortable with. I would simply say, "Thank you for you concern" and leave it at that, if you want to say no more. People by nature are curious, and sympathetic for the most part.

Time is a great healer, and I hope both you and your husband heal from this accident, and can go on with your lives with no further trauma related to this accident.

Best to you both...

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