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Angry over the little things in life


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Old 07-07-2016, 11:07 PM   #1
Jessica1916
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Angry over the little things in life

A little bit of a backstory, my entire life including when I was younger I constantly would get angry over the little things. Examples: when my mother would whistle, excessive tapping or leg shaking, so on and so forth. Over time everything got gradually worse. My parents just split last year ( I was 21) and my mother and I had a huge falling out. During that whole time I felt resentment, anger and down right hate. She tried telling me she waited until the time she did to save me the pain, and then turned around and told me she wished me dead, showed me journals etc of when she planned on aborting me. Telling me I was a mistake etc. None the less this caused intense and very extreme hate/ anger.I worked through that I was finally free from such a mean and angry person. Now to current time. I still have my issues in regards to little things like when I was younger but lately it seems that Has escalated even further. Just this past weekend I won a local race at our race track, and instead of being congratulated by a few of the other drivers I was told I didn't earn my win etc, and that I didn't deserve it. This instantly enraged me and made me defensive and mean even to those who cares around me. I felt like my family didn't care, and that I was alone. No one would defend me which caused me to be more angry. I look up to my dad who also was racing as my idol and I felt like no one really have me any credit for winning. ( I guess I'm being a sore winner? I at least expexted a "I'm proud of you". Or something from him but nothing.fast forward to the 33rd of July where we were at the race track again and everyone is attacking my dad saying all these mean things and I'm so stressed trying to defend him.move onto the 45th of July and were at the lake with his girlfriend they've been drinking and they want to leave fine. I state I'll drive and the girlfriend instantly retaliated back with a no you ******* won't it's my car statement. Again instant rage. How dare she demand me to ride with her after drinking. Of course this has caused a huge fight where she says I'm disrespecting her, and I feel like she was disrespectful to me. I've asked what I've done but won't be given any examples so I don't know how or when I was disrespectful I don't feel like telling her I would not ride in her car if she was driving after she's been drinking was disrespectful at all.she still won't speak with me and it's now causing tension between my dad and I we live in the same household so not having peace Is bad. I am desperate to figure out why so many things are making me so angry. I feel like I'm just an overall angry person, that I'm the issue, and that I should just disappear became others would be better off that way.

 
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