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  • Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

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    Old 08-30-2004, 06:56 AM   #16
    MysteryRider
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Thanks for your message Brian.

    Last edited by MysteryRider; 10-09-2004 at 03:31 PM.

     
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    Old 08-31-2004, 04:48 PM   #17
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    I can relate to a lot of it. I realize that I have an anger problem myself. The ironic thing is that to most people, I look like a very nice, "together" kind of person. Ever since I was a kid, some people have often described me as "quiet" and "sensible," which completely boggles my mind because I am neither. It's just that I'm a nice person in general and don't ever blow up at people with whom I am not in a close personal relationship. Actually, I never get angry at my friends either, but in dating relationships I have become outraged many times. I also get frustrated by the everyday things, like the computer breaking or something not working properly, or a long line at the post office. I have no patience at all. But I control myself in social situations. However, at home, I sometimes hit a wall with my fist or kick a chair out of anger and frustration. Or I will cry uncontrollably or yell profanities in my empty apartment. I am single and live by myself so the only entity hurt here is my fist. I am too slender to be able to do any damage to the wall. I, too, noticed that this problem is becoming worse with age and is definitely hormone-related (the dreadful PMS). Despite of people thinking I"m the "nice, quiet" type of girl, I actually have a high amount of anxiety and I don't deal well with living by myself. I am utterly miserable spending hours and hours alone in my apartment, and that makes me either extremely depressed or extremely angry. When I used to live with my ex fiance, I almost never got mad. I would sometimes get sad or irritated, but never enraged or out of control. I love to be in a good, supportive relationship; it's soothing to my nerves and good for my well being, but I haven't been able to find one in years.

    I had a very abusive childhood, both physically and emotionally, so I think part of my anger stems from that. Anyway, you're definitely not alone in this. The person who mentioned exercise and yoga is right. Walks in nature also help me, though it is hard to find anything beyond a concrete jungle in the city where I live. Environment definitely plays a part, in my opinion. I am scared to take antidepressants so when I feel completely bad, I have a glass of wine and it sometimes relaxes me. Probably not the best advice with the last one, but it seems to help me.

     
    Old 08-31-2004, 05:38 PM   #18
    BrianKosh
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Yep that is it, on the outside, you are a solid rock, looks like u never have any issues and everything is cool... On the inside, that rock is really molten lava..

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by SophiaM
    I can relate to a lot of it. I realize that I have an anger problem myself. The ironic thing is that to most people, I look like a very nice, "together" kind of person. Ever since I was a kid, some people have often described me as "quiet" and "sensible," which completely boggles my mind because I am neither. It's just that I'm a nice person in general and don't ever blow up at people with whom I am not in a close personal relationship. Actually, I never get angry at my friends either, but in dating relationships I have become outraged many times. I also get frustrated by the everyday things, like the computer breaking or something not working properly, or a long line at the post office. I have no patience at all. But I control myself in social situations. However, at home, I sometimes hit a wall with my fist or kick a chair out of anger and frustration. Or I will cry uncontrollably or yell profanities in my empty apartment. I am single and live by myself so the only entity hurt here is my fist. I am too slender to be able to do any damage to the wall. I, too, noticed that this problem is becoming worse with age and is definitely hormone-related (the dreadful PMS). Despite of people thinking I"m the "nice, quiet" type of girl, I actually have a high amount of anxiety and I don't deal well with living by myself. I am utterly miserable spending hours and hours alone in my apartment, and that makes me either extremely depressed or extremely angry. When I used to live with my ex fiance, I almost never got mad. I would sometimes get sad or irritated, but never enraged or out of control. I love to be in a good, supportive relationship; it's soothing to my nerves and good for my well being, but I haven't been able to find one in years.

    I had a very abusive childhood, both physically and emotionally, so I think part of my anger stems from that. Anyway, you're definitely not alone in this. The person who mentioned exercise and yoga is right. Walks in nature also help me, though it is hard to find anything beyond a concrete jungle in the city where I live. Environment definitely plays a part, in my opinion. I am scared to take antidepressants so when I feel completely bad, I have a glass of wine and it sometimes relaxes me. Probably not the best advice with the last one, but it seems to help me.

     
    Old 09-01-2004, 01:35 PM   #19
    deboraStewart
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Hello MysteryRyder, I'm so happy you're also managing to pull yourself together. It's amazing how much in common we seem to have, we would probably be very good friends if we llived near each other. Anyway, today I did something really daft and felt rotten about it afterwards. Bruana came to me saying that there would be a special walk on the 11th in the name of peace, and that some people would be taking their bikes and she wanted to as well. I told her NO and added that she'd better walk next to me in case we decided to go, for there would probably be too many people and it could be dangerous. She then started insisting and I lost my temper. I then picked up her school notebook which was sitting on the table next to me and threw it on the floor. She started crying and said I'd upset her homework. It was only then that I realized how stupid I was, flying off the handle over that! You see, my period is a few days late and that must be affecting my already not very good mood. After that I told her I was sorry and so on. I know that sometimes she deserves a telling off, but not in this case. I simply started talking to her as if she were also an adult and that just wasn't right. She's far too young to understand certain things for her brain hasn't matured enough yet. Well, thanks for reading and letting me vent. There are times when I think I am a good mother but then, after something like this, I wonder what am I doing to this girl!?
    Bye for now,

    Débora

     
    Old 09-02-2004, 07:54 AM   #20
    MysteryRider
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Sophia, I have also noticed that my anger is getting worse with age.

    Last edited by MysteryRider; 10-09-2004 at 03:31 PM.

     
    Old 09-02-2004, 08:23 AM   #21
    deboraStewart
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Hello MysteryRyder, I can imagine how afraid you must be right now, and I'll remember you in my prayers. I've heard about it on the news so, I'll keep my fingers crossed. By the way, Carlos is a very common name here in Brazil too. We also get a lot of Pedro, Joăo, Marcelo, Felipe, Tiago, Diego, Paulo, you name it. [ removed ] Bruna's away to the market with Robert just now. You're right and thanks for the encouraging words. I hope you've made it up with Carlos by now as well. Take care. I'll be looking forward to hearing from you again soon.

    Débora from Brazil

    Last edited by moderator2; 09-02-2004 at 03:38 PM. Reason: on-the-board sharing, only - no emails - no exceptions.

     
    Old 09-04-2004, 07:40 AM   #22
    MysteryRider
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Hey Debora, how are you?

    Last edited by MysteryRider; 10-09-2004 at 03:32 PM.

     
    Old 09-04-2004, 08:42 AM   #23
    deboraStewart
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Hello MysteryRyder, relieved to hear from you. I've been following the news about the hurricane and although I've never been through anything like this since we don't really get these natural disasters here in Brazil, I want you to try and keep calm for getting nervous can only make matters worse. That's how I feel about my fourth coming heart operation. When you can't beat your enemy, join him. You and Carlos have to get even closer now because flying off the handle won't do you any good at this point. I'm happy you've decided to go and see someone about this anger issue so, why don't you begin by reflecting on how it all began right up to now?! What I'm trying to say is that you have to realize how much this whole thing has affected other people's lives as well as your own regarding relationships with people in general and how much you're to blame in it all. The most important thing you've already achieved, which's admiting that something IS wrong and that has made you consider going for professional help. Now, don't just go blaming yourself for everything that's gone wrong, after all, life has its ups and downs regardless of any emotional problems and we're only human. Something only becomes serious when you no longer have control over it and your attitudes could lead to farther consequences. I'm sure you'll discover a lot of things you've never even dreamt of once you start digging in the durt. Don't know if I've used the right expression here. Don't hide anything at all from the psychologist, even if you feel embarassed about it for it might compromise the whole treatment. Hatred and stuff like that also needs to be brought to the open. Is Carlos aware of your emotions and our talks?
    Well, I hope you're able to read this post soon, and I hope it will somehow help you. I'll be right here keeping my fingers crossed for you , your family and friends, as well as all the other people who are now about to face this hurricane. Say your prayers with all your heart and remember, it's not the time to get angry now, but stay positive and strong. Please, write here as soon as possible and don't do anything daft out of desperation. I'm sure you'll sail through it!

    Love, your Brazilian friend,
    Débora

    Last edited by Administrator; 09-15-2004 at 04:29 PM.

     
    Old 09-04-2004, 10:16 AM   #24
    MysteryRider
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Its nice to hear from you so soon.

    Last edited by MysteryRider; 10-09-2004 at 03:32 PM.

     
    Old 09-04-2004, 12:04 PM   #25
    deboraStewart
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Hi again, I've seen on the news that the hurricane is losing force, but should still bring a lot of rains and winds into Florida. I'm sending some positive thoughts your way and believe me, I'm good at it. Whenever someone on VR is about to have a replacement, I do the same thing, and the person always comes out of the operation unharmed. By the way, I saw on Larry King Live that Bill Clinton is having bypass surgery sometime next week and should be just fine. Anyway, I'll be in touch with you a lot today providing you don't go without electricity due to Frances. I know what you mean about men being stubborn. Robert's just the same in many ways, but again, I've learned how to live with it. I'll tell you what, I hope Carlos doesn't get upset with me for what I'm going to say, but if he ends up eating up a lot of the stocked up foods, he might just have to do with less if the worst comes to the worst. LOL!! Make sure you keep plenty for yourself. I guess that's all for this post. I have to go now, but will be back soon. Hope to hear from you soon for I heard the hurricane should only be getting there by this evening or tomorrow morning. Also, there's alwyas a chance it will become weaker, let's hope. Remember, where there's life there's hope and you should never give up.

     
    Old 09-04-2004, 03:39 PM   #26
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Hi Gina, what a coinscidence, that's also my middle name! I only noticed it now that I felt like coming here again to drop you another couple of lines to see how you're doing. I hope everything's still under control, and don't forget to keep your chin up. I've seen it's a holiday over in America on Monday! Labour Day here is on May1st. I wonder where all the Brazilians who live in Miami are away to by now, and I heard on the news that all the flights from Brazil to Miami have been cancelled. Anyway, good luck during this such tense moment. Grab on to your faith in God and everything will be ok in the end. Let me know how you are as soon as you're able to and give my regards to Carlos for he too must be feeling pretty bad with all this. Take good care of each other and most of all, remain together through this.

    Your friend,

    Débora

     
    Old 09-05-2004, 11:16 AM   #27
    MysteryRider
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Thanks Debora for your kind wishes.

    Last edited by MysteryRider; 10-09-2004 at 03:32 PM.

     
    Old 09-08-2004, 07:33 PM   #28
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Hi Gina and sorry for not having written back before. On Sunday I was away to my aunt's house where Bruna and I stayed overnight. Then on Monday, Tuesday and today I had visitors and as well as that, it was so hot that I simply didn't feel like using the computer at all. Anyway, here I am, and you can't imagine how relieved I was when I read that you're ok and it's all over. As for your heart, whenever you feel up to telling me all about it, feel free to do so. After all, we've become good friends. I hope you and Carlos have really made it up by now and have realized that there's no use in fighting over something neither of you have control on, such as a hurricane. I don't have much else to say so, that's it for this post. Take good care of yourself.

    Your new friend,

    Débora

     
    Old 09-09-2004, 08:50 AM   #29
    MysteryRider
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Hi Debora, Very nice to hear from you again.

    Last edited by MysteryRider; 10-09-2004 at 03:32 PM.

     
    Old 09-09-2004, 11:11 AM   #30
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Hi there Gina, Congratulations on getting a site together with Carlos, it must've been hard work. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through depression now, and sencerily hope it won't affect your relationship with Carlos in any way. I only started to learn how to deal with a computer because of my heart condition for I thought I'd never be able to due to my bad eyesight, only 25% as I've already told you. Although I've learned quite a few things, I still nedd to get Robert to help me out with a lot of stuff, but I'll get there eventually. Have you been going to see the psychologist? And are you getting any answers yet? It was really nice at my aunt's house and the weather was perfect for the barbecue she had for her birthday. Well, I'd better go for I don't even know if you'll ever get to read this post. Let me know as soon as you get back into the site. Wishing you the best of luck!
    Your Brazilian friend whatever happens,

    Débora

    Last edited by Administrator; 09-15-2004 at 04:35 PM. Reason: do not discuss bannings.

     
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