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  • Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

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    Old 08-08-2004, 08:12 AM   #1
    MysteryRider
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    Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    I was just wondering if anyone else out there blew up about ordinary everyday things because of your anger.

    Last edited by MysteryRider; 10-09-2004 at 03:36 PM.

     
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    Old 08-08-2004, 02:20 PM   #2
    seawater
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    How exactly do you blow up over "these everyday things?"

    Do you break things or punch holes in wall?

     
    Old 08-16-2004, 06:22 AM   #3
    MysteryRider
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by seawater
    How exactly do you blow up over "these everyday things?"

    Do you break things or punch holes in wall?
    Sorry its taken me awhile to reply but Im not getting the reply notification emails for some reason.

    Last edited by MysteryRider; 10-09-2004 at 03:36 PM.

     
    Old 08-17-2004, 01:07 AM   #4
    ILikeRats
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Mysteryrider, have you seen a doctor? Certain medications (antidepressents and such) have helped many people with their anger. I have noticed I become an angry person during certain points in my cycle (I'm female) and thus believe it's related to hormones/biochemistry. If there's a physical cause for your anger, it can be helped. Meditation also helps me. Start by meditating a few minutes each day and work up. Going for a walk each day also helps me. Be sure you're getting proper nutrition, too, and when you see your doctor ask whether he/she thinks any supplements (a multivitamin, minerals, B-Complex, etc.) would help. Good luck to you!

     
    Old 08-17-2004, 07:09 AM   #5
    MysteryRider
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ILikeRats
    Mysteryrider, have you seen a doctor? Certain medications (antidepressents and such) have helped many people with their anger. I have noticed I become an angry person during certain points in my cycle (I'm female) and thus believe it's related to hormones/biochemistry. If there's a physical cause for your anger, it can be helped. Meditation also helps me. Start by meditating a few minutes each day and work up. Going for a walk each day also helps me. Be sure you're getting proper nutrition, too, and when you see your doctor ask whether he/she thinks any supplements (a multivitamin, minerals, B-Complex, etc.) would help. Good luck to you!
    Thanks for the advice. I havent seen a doc yet about my anger, only about my anxiety but they seem to go hand in hand. Meditation has helped me in the past, I think Ill give it one more try.

     
    Old 08-17-2004, 12:54 PM   #6
    seawater
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MysteryRider
    Thanks for the advice. I havent seen a doc yet about my anger, only about my anxiety but they seem to go hand in hand. Meditation has helped me in the past, I think Ill give it one more try.
    I think that is an excellent idea! I watched a biography on Patty Duke; apparently she would just fly into rages all the time. She was finally diagnosed as bipolar and prescribed lithium; it changed her life.

    And remember there are a lot of doctors out there and a lot of medications; what works for one person, may not work for you. But don’t give up.

    Good luck to you.

     
    Old 08-23-2004, 10:52 PM   #7
    trouble32
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    HI,I am new here..hi to all.Ive been married to a man for 23 years...the day after we were married he broke a complete set of dishes..this has went on 23 years.Do you have controllling problems.money,car. my husband keeps all money,credit cards ect.I am disabled in my spine.OK for instance i sleep hardly never.pain is so severe..He beat me in my head until i lost my vision,because i fell asleep when i was holding cofee.??He believes their arent mistakes.he finds nothing funny.angers him to hear laughter?Just wanted to see.He is now living with his mother for past 4 weeks,after beating,,I dont trust him anymore...between blood clot damage,spine and low back injuries.Pain is so bad.He wont help or support me in any way.why,,Because its a flaw in me.sounds nuts but real...thanks

     
    Old 08-23-2004, 10:55 PM   #8
    trouble32
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by seawater
    I think that is an excellent idea! I watched a biography on Patty Duke; apparently she would just fly into rages all the time. She was finally diagnosed as bipolar and prescribed lithium; it changed her life.

    And remember there are a lot of doctors out there and a lot of medications; what works for one person, may not work for you. But don’t give up.

    Good luck to you.
    I am impressed <assuming youre male> youve stood up to your problems!!youve already started to help yourself!Congrats

     
    Old 08-24-2004, 03:10 PM   #9
    MysteryRider
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Trouble32, I am sorry to hear that you have been going through all of this in your life. I hope that your husband gets the help he needs and if not, then its best to not go back to him. Anger is a real problem that can affect more lives than just the one who is suffering it. Hope things get better for you.

     
    Old 08-25-2004, 06:25 PM   #10
    deboraStewart
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Hi everybody, I'm also new to the site and I have been a heart patient practically my whole life. I've already had 3 OHS and should be facing my fourth one of these days. Even though I'm married, my husband has always given me freedom to see friends, go visiting and so on. I've never been too keen on children though, but ended up wanting to have one eventually which in a way, was a big mistake. I love my daughter, don't get me wrong, but the problem is I just don't have the patience for all the childish stuff that comes with it. I've even been to a psychologist and she helped me understand why I have this aversion for kids in general. You see, because of my heart problem I had to spend good part of my own childhood confined to a bed which meant that I couldn't go out and play, so I spent most of my time in the company of adults. As well as that, since I have a very serious problem in my eyes, the children at school just kept making fun of me and calling me names all the time. Until today, I haven't really overcome it and whenever a child stares at me, I simply look away. Anyway, the doctor told me that all I feel is owed to a childhood that was "stolen" from me, as she put it. I'm not renowned for my patience, but when it comes to being with children, I have none at all and it's a big struggle for me not to let it show to Bruna that I'm not really interested in whatever she wants to tell me or show. I would appreciate your opinion and advice, thank you.

    Débora from Brazil

     
    Old 08-26-2004, 06:54 AM   #11
    MysteryRider
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Debora, I just wanted to thank you for your post.

    Last edited by MysteryRider; 10-09-2004 at 03:30 PM.

     
    Old 08-27-2004, 06:14 AM   #12
    deboraStewart
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    Hi MysteryRider, thank you too for your kind words for all I've heard from people is: no one has forced you to have children, being a mother is just like that, when you were a child you gave me double the work and so on. So sick and tired of listening to all this. As well as that, whenever I meet another woman at my daughter's school for instnace, there comes the big remark in the form of a question: do you only have her? She needs a little sister. Being an only child can be problematic, and on they go... I can't help wondering though, if I did have another child, would they help me support it, or look after it? Of course not! Noone takes my heart issues into account and that gets me really angry. I've even had to be rude on some occasions for I can't stand it when this sort of talk comes up. I hate talking to other mothers at my daughter's school because they don't want to talk about anything else but kids. I do talk about mine too, but I also like discussing other topics and hate being taken up on not having another child. I've never been the sort of mother whose child is always the perfect one who never makes mistakes. I tell her off whenever she's wrong or tries to blame things on her friends. She has to follow some sort of dicipline and doesn't just get away with murder simply because she's an only child. Anyway, enough of that.
    You said you were also made fun of as a child, why? You don't need to tell me if you don't want to. I'm happy to have been of some help to you though, and here goes my advice to anybody who feels like we do: don't go having children just because it's the done thing no matter what others say. In the end of the day, you're the one who will have to bring it up and find the patience to deal with everything that comes with it into the bargain. Best of luck and keep in touch,

    Débora from Brazil

     
    Old 08-27-2004, 08:32 AM   #13
    MysteryRider
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    You are absolutely correct Debora and that was good advice.

    Last edited by MysteryRider; 10-09-2004 at 03:30 PM.

     
    Old 08-27-2004, 11:00 AM   #14
    deboraStewart
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    Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    That was quick! Well, I'm like that myself, and in my opinion, if someone writes in here, is because he or she wants others to read and write back, don't you agree? In answer to your question regarding anger, well, my husband says I'm ok as long as everything goes the way I want them to which's true up to a certain extent. You see, I've been through an awful lot healthwise, so I kind of expect life and people to make up for what I've lost. I know it sounds weird and putting my thoughts into English isn't always an easy task for me since my native language is Portuguese. Anyway, I'll try to outline it as best as I can. I don't really like taking NO for an answer, and I'm always to eager to explain the whys to things. My mum doesn't quite accept me the way I am for she says I should agree with her more instead of disagreeing the way I do. We're far too different and have opposite values. She says I shouldn't just go saying what I think to people and it's not the done thing when you live in a society. I hate hipocracy and when I don't like something or somebody, I find it very difficult to hide. I have many family issues which I've learned how to live with and to me love isn't something you can take somebody up on simply because this or that person is blood related to you. My mum keeps trying to impose that sort of thing on me, but the truth is that I can't stand my brother, and I'm not naive to think he's nuts about me either. He's a snob and has always looked down on me, but again, there's nothing I can do about it and as well as that, he doesn't see himself as this person I've just mentioned. For so many years I tried to, let's say, buy my way into my family. Well, I've finally got fed up with the whole thing to the point of not caring any more. I used to get really angry at them for being rotten, that includes some of my relatives too, but now, I can safely say that I no longer have any feelings left for them nor do I wish anything bad to happen. I do get angry a lot with Bruna when she misbehaves and do my fair share of shouting, but nothing serious. Robert, my husband tries to reason with me when this happens, but that just makes matters worse. You know, the typical situation where daddy's little girl is a poor little soul. I had Bruna because I wanted to, despite of all the advice people gave me at the time. They always knew I wasn't fit for the job, I'll say that. But now she's here and I have to do my best which I think I've been managing pretty well regardless of my bad temper at times.
    I know exactly how you feel about your eyes and one of the things I've told my daughter is to never make fun of people because they might look different. She knows how much I've suffered with all this and seems to feel sorry whenever she sees somebody with some sort of problem. By the way, how does your husband feel about you not wanting children? It's been very nice to be able to share these experiences with you and any time you feel like writing for whatever reason, feel free to do so. I'm sure there are more people out there who feel like we do, but simply can't bring themselves to admit it for it's not a pleasant feeling at all, especially for me since I do have a child at home and sometimes feel as if I was rejecting her. I've often wondered if God will ever punish me for that seeing that there are so many people with unhealthy kids when mine is a perfect little seven year old and very intelligent too. She speaks English and Portuguese and does very well at school. Hope to hear from you again soon.

    Débora from Brazil

     
    Old 08-28-2004, 10:48 PM   #15
    BrianKosh
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    Post Re: Boiling Over With Anger About The Little Things

    I realize u are looking for help or some idea's with what you are going through..

    1. go for a walk, ride a bike, and if you feel cruddy and it is 2am.. (and it isn't considered dangerous, go for that walk.. a close friend told me to do this when too much, umm, when I thought about things and it depressed me into a crying fit.. and other assorted stuff.. ) it doesn't always work, but exercise can do wonders.. the other thing.. which should probably be #2

    2. Meditation and relaxation techniques, mind u beware you may just fall asleep.. relaxation technique I learned long ago, actually it was part of bio-feedback training.. which was originally prescribed for vascular headaches, ANYWAY.. before I bore to sleep.. the one thing I remembered was feeling that all of your body, piece by piece was becoming heavy.. I pretty much looked at my doctor as if he were nuts.. but it worked..

    3. Medication.. Yes, well some hate this to be their resolve.. I am not speaking about tranquilizers, but anti-depressants..
    When I became anger, it scared me, because I would ask myself even out loud why did i just yell about that.. why am I angry, it also became scary, because I dissociated myself from myself.. as in, I see myself yelling, but had no control over it.. it's like looking in the mirror and u don't know who is staring back.. don't worry I am fine.. my cheese didn't slip off my noodles, I am not a pickle short of a barrel, a blade short of a lawn.. But it still freaked me out, I felt that my last resort was to see a psychiatrist.. since then I have become a bit paranoid of being diagnosed with Bi-polar 1 disorder, mainly because it fit too well, anyway, back to you..
    anti-depressants. Although I won't swear by them, I do feel better.. SSRI's I think are a bad idea.. ( look up what they are on this very health board, if u need help ask a moderator.) I am on Wellbutrin(sp??) XL and Lamictal @200mg.

    4. Make sure you can rule out any organic issue.. thyroid, hormones, anything such as that.. I know hormones and thyroid issues can cause problems, and the be sure, if the doctor does prescribe the Anti-depressants, find out ALL the side effects, I suggest you leave the part where it happens to 1% or less of the patient alone,.. some people have a knack of reading them and think it is happening to that also 1% or less of them..

    I hate to believe this, but Lamictal has helped a lot.. especially the coming down of BP (bi-polar not blood pressure) even if u say, "I don't have BP" that wasn't exactly where I was going with that.. I was having crying bouts for all the wrong reasons... you can cry at a movie or the appropriate places, but not at night for reasons unknown and the on appropriate moments of anger.

    Both are becoming rare.. it is not to say I won't get ******, I do with my pc daily and I am a freakin computer tech.. how lame is that.. I always joke when I am working on pc's that i hate computers.. yes, it is for the response on their face..

    Yes, well anyway.. I hope maybe something in the above message helped or at least gave you an idea or two...

    The info on the thyroid issues, is from a family member and the hormones is my own.. Genetic issues (GEE THANKS DAD) have left me with low amounts of testosterone.. these and "OTHER" fun issues have made life a real.. fun time.. I say that with sarcasm... although the genetic issue stuff really is from my father..
    btw, the above personal stuff goes under the title of TOO MUCH INFO better known as TMI.. translation; I just babbled everyone into a coma...

    Good luck.. and if this message didn't help, use it as a sleeping aid..



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MysteryRider
    I was just wondering if anyone else out there blew up about ordinary everyday things because of your anger. To me, it seems like nothing can go wrong because it will set me off. The car breaking down or something in the house not working seems to send me off into dispair. Its impossible for nothing to ever not go wrong in life but does anyone have any techniques to use for this?

     
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