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    Old 12-18-2005, 02:25 PM   #1
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    Extreme Rage, Violence Towards Parents

    Hello again, haven't been here in a while ...

    I am really worried about my anger issues I am having with my parents. I have always been a very aggressive person, a control freak I guess I'll admit to. I don't really get angry with any other people except my parents. When they do the smallest things I will erupt into this huge, broiling rage and will storm about the house in extreme shouting matches with them. My dad is the worst part. He is also a control freak and has to know everything about my affairs (today he went to my personally to my job to find out my hours when I wouldn't tell him), and he also loves to do and say little things to provoke me. I get so angry and upset with him. I have threatened to kill him before and sometimes I have the urge to do violent things to him, like hit him or punch him. I have never hurt anyone but I have thrown things, slammed doors, etc.

    I cannot describe this extreme rage that I am overcome with. It takes control and I can't help myself. Nothing seems to help. Even if I went through my whole house and just smashed everything, I know I wouldn't feel any better. I think my life would be so much better if my dad just left, but that isn't going to happen. So I need to learn to control this anger towards my parents and mostly my dad.

    Please help before I do something I really regret

     
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    Old 12-18-2005, 07:02 PM   #2
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    Re: Extreme Rage, Violence Towards Parents

    Best of all if you can move out and communicate with them as less as possible.

     
    Old 12-20-2005, 10:56 AM   #3
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    Re: Extreme Rage, Violence Towards Parents

    Can i ask ,how old are you??
    I am so sorry you are goin through all this!!!
    I am no counselor..I am gonna be honest...I am really afraid for you..for your family!!!!
    I would suggest that you get yourself to seek counseling real soon..PLEASE~
    Maybe you have seen this is how you "deal" when life throws problems your way..Sounds like your dad is not bein fair to you at all..Yet hurting him will only hurt you more in the end....
    You know deep in your heart that more violence isnt the answer..right..
    If at all possible... could the whole family get into counseling??
    Until you can find a counselor..please try and remove yourself from him..when you get these feelings of rage...He is probably expecting you to lash out..dont give him what he wants..Do you understand what i am saying here??Do everything in your power to not let it escalate!!!!
    AND YOU DO HAVE THAT POWER!!!!
    Instead of putting your energy into the rage put it into fighting off the rage..Get away from him!!!!!!!There has to be a hotline in your area that you could call!!!! I dont know ..just throwing ideas out there to try and help you!!!
    I haven't been here in a long time..yet feel it was meant to be today...
    Yours was the first post i read today~
    I will be back to check up on you..
    Please make that call for a counselor soon~
    Take care ....
    ~Whatamess~

     
    Old 12-20-2005, 01:31 PM   #4
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    Re: Extreme Rage, Violence Towards Parents

    In my case counselor was useless, only advice I ever had is to avoid person who is provoking me. Worse thing you can do is just go to any counselor without recommendation, 2 people I tried make me feel much worse. Move out, avoid your father is the only thing you can do.

     
    Old 12-21-2005, 09:02 PM   #5
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    Re: Extreme Rage, Violence Towards Parents

    I am 16 at the moment and can't move out. My anger has died down for now and I've been reading up, anger is a form of control, and by getting mad I'm only allowing him control over me. I could never bring myself to go to counseling though, it would be an embarassment and my mom wouldn't believe me about this. Any idea where I find those hotlines you're talking about?

     
    Old 12-22-2005, 01:59 PM   #6
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    Re: Extreme Rage, Violence Towards Parents

    Councelor made things worse for me, while i was a paying adult and can dump them. In your case she can call your parents and make things even worse than you having now. It should be somebody by recommendation. I don't know how to find those hot-lines, do search. Try to avoid your parents, may be compromise on what you can.

     
    Old 12-24-2005, 08:48 AM   #7
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    Re: Extreme Rage, Violence Towards Parents

    Mastodon, Your telephone directory should have some numbers for you under "Social Services". You can call them and ask, hopefully you get a smart person answering the phone.
    In the meantime try to help yourself by understanding the problem. Do a search for "designed thinking" or anger + nlp.
    You seem to be an intelligent young man and recognize that you have a problem and want help. Most don't.
    Good Luck and Peace to you.

     
    Old 12-25-2005, 10:16 PM   #8
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    Re: Extreme Rage, Violence Towards Parents

    Thank you again for you help, I have been doing a lot lately to stop my anger. With Christmas today and all of this week I have not had one angry outburst and I have been civil with my dad and my mother. At one point my mother bumped my elbow and I nearly choked on something I was drinking, and she didn't apologize. Whereas before I would've blown up on her for something silly like this and I felt my temper flare I kept myself in control. What I fear most is that for some reason I am just shoving all my anger deep down inside and some day in the future I'm just going to completely loose it.

    By the way, I am a female. That "designed thinking" thing sounds too good to be true in a way ...

    For anyone experiencing similar problems I would suggest reading the Tao Te *****, this is the most calming thing I have probably ever read.

     
    Old 01-01-2006, 02:41 PM   #9
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    Re: Extreme Rage, Violence Towards Parents

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Mastodon
    Hello again, haven't been here in a while ...

    I am really worried about my anger issues I am having with my parents. I have always been a very aggressive person, a control freak I guess I'll admit to. I don't really get angry with any other people except my parents. When they do the smallest things I will erupt into this huge, broiling rage and will storm about the house in extreme shouting matches with them. My dad is the worst part. He is also a control freak and has to know everything about my affairs (today he went to my personally to my job to find out my hours when I wouldn't tell him), and he also loves to do and say little things to provoke me. I get so angry and upset with him. I have threatened to kill him before and sometimes I have the urge to do violent things to him, like hit him or punch him. I have never hurt anyone but I have thrown things, slammed doors, etc.

    I cannot describe this extreme rage that I am overcome with. It takes control and I can't help myself. Nothing seems to help. Even if I went through my whole house and just smashed everything, I know I wouldn't feel any better. I think my life would be so much better if my dad just left, but that isn't going to happen. So I need to learn to control this anger towards my parents and mostly my dad.

    Please help before I do something I really regret
    Hey. Thats okay man. Ive been in therapy with this great lady called Ms.Johnson a few times about my anger. Ive punched a few people and even hit this boy with a pplank of wood but I've learned to control it. When you cant take it and you feel like your gonna explode just walk out. I heard you do. Screaming and all, thats okay. And I know the threats are the worst cause it'll always be something you dont mean but you feel like doing it. I dont get too aggressive with my parents because I wouldnt stand up to my dad if my life depended on it. He'd kill me. Literally. Im sometimes almost terrified of him. Anyways. My friend Jaks on anger managment at the moment and I think what you need to do is write when your mad. It really helps. Write everything that happend and write about what you did, what whoever the hell your mad at did and everything. It releases energy so fast its unbelievable. If not, deep breathe 1, deep breathe 2, etc.
    Hope it helps man.

     
    Old 01-02-2006, 03:31 AM   #10
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    Re: Extreme Rage, Violence Towards Parents

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Mastodon
    Hello again, haven't been here in a while ...

    I am really worried about my anger issues I am having with my parents. I have always been a very aggressive person, a control freak I guess I'll admit to. I don't really get angry with any other people except my parents. When they do the smallest things I will erupt into this huge, broiling rage and will storm about the house in extreme shouting matches with them. My dad is the worst part. He is also a control freak and has to know everything about my affairs (today he went to my personally to my job to find out my hours when I wouldn't tell him), and he also loves to do and say little things to provoke me. I get so angry and upset with him. I have threatened to kill him before and sometimes I have the urge to do violent things to him, like hit him or punch him. I have never hurt anyone but I have thrown things, slammed doors, etc.

    I cannot describe this extreme rage that I am overcome with. It takes control and I can't help myself. Nothing seems to help. Even if I went through my whole house and just smashed everything, I know I wouldn't feel any better. I think my life would be so much better if my dad just left, but that isn't going to happen. So I need to learn to control this anger towards my parents and mostly my dad.

    Please help before I do something I really regret
    Hi there. Any advice or help you can give would be great. My brother (30) is an alcoholic and taking cocaine. He has smashed my mum and dads house up and I think he is hitting both mum and dad! He is constantly angry and violent towards the rest of the family. Refusing to leave home and get the proper help. He is also 40 k in debt and taking money off mum daily, whilst threatening her. Thanks.

     
    Old 02-01-2006, 07:00 PM   #11
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    Re: Extreme Rage, Violence Towards Parents

    Your anger may be triggered by some underlying issues. I tend to overreact when a person leaves me hanging. It doesn't matter whether it's a date or just a close friend. I've even ended a 3 yr friendship over this. I've realized that this is because I had many unreliable people around in my childhood. This is something I have to learn to deal with but I just thought it'd be a good example. Anyways hang on there because you're almost and adult. Don't make your last two years miserable....I know anger isn't easy to deal with. I have quite a temper myself. As for the control freak thing I used to be very uptight about that. If one little thing went wrong my whole day was ruined. I've learned that you can't control everything and one must learn to adapt since life is always changing. Hope I helped sorry if I lectured...wasn't my intentions.

     
    Old 02-03-2006, 07:30 PM   #12
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    Arrow Re: Extreme Rage, Violence Towards Parents

    Hi! I saw your posts on the rage,and violence etc...I used to get like that as well,and I used to drive my car(s) eratically,and with extreme anger! I got so tired of feeling that way, that I asked for help,and got it.I am now taking effexor....it stops me from getting TOO angry.I also have A.D.D. and sometimes I wonder if that plays into, my anger which stems from when I was growing up as well.My step-father was NOT always a nice person,he took his crap out on me....mostly.I somehow antagonized him,partly because when I met him at eight years of age,I knew one thing, and that one thing was that I wasn't going to like him very much,because I could sense things in him, which were NOT good.I don't know how I knew, but, I knew! Call it the a.d.d. with e.s.p.! That is a gift to have for us a.d.d.ers!
    But, I am such a different person from the rest of my family! I tend to be VERY emotional,and use my "guts" for my guidance.That has saved me many times over!
    But, I never ever want to hurt anybody, nor kill somebody! NEver! If you have a severe anger problem, get to a psychiatrist see a therapist first....it will help alot more than I can possibly emphasize! I have been there, and I hated the way that I used to feel,and I hated myself,and my life at those times! I remember sitting in my car at different places that I would sit and park at,and just cry, and say outloud, "why me!!!"...(I think that alot of the anger that people feel is also misplaced depression, and or anxiety...but, they aren't totally aware of that!)

    Just thought that I could help here....I have "been there, done that!" many, many times! It' ain't worth it!

    Love your self, care about YOU,reach out,and yes, ask for some help, you aren't alone, anymore, and you never were! okay?!!

    Last edited by nightowl2; 02-03-2006 at 07:31 PM.

     
    Old 02-23-2006, 07:26 PM   #13
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    Re: Extreme Rage, Violence Towards Parents

    from what i can tell this is alot like what im going through...or was going through. what i ended up doing was talkingt o my parents and askign to see a profesional therapist...dont think you lame lots of people go to them. well it ended up helping quite a bit and i dont erupt as much. i also got a boxing bag for myself and i go in and train whenever i feel ike this (with such an anger that you have to unleash somehthing, i know how that is...) this seemed to help quite a bit just punching at something till you break down and cry or are too weak to punch anymore...but keep me posted ill continue trying to help.

     
    Old 03-01-2006, 11:49 AM   #14
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    Re: Extreme Rage, Violence Towards Parents

    We are going through the samething my son is 13 and your letter could have been written by him.does your dad tell that he loves you?does he show it?If yes to both questions try to sit down and talk to him.My son has become very angry and he doesn't understand that his dad just wants to know what is going on in his life and try to be closer but it always back fires on him.If you can't talk to him write a letter and let him know how you feel and I think maybe you should check out some anger manegment classes you could also try your school couseler.I hope you and your dad can find away to have a good realationship.Be Careful!!!

     
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