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    Old 01-19-2007, 03:52 PM   #1
    hopetofeelwell1
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    A question regarding anxiety, depression and anger

    Hi all! This is my first time posting on the anger board. My son was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder w/ depression and has been on a couple of meds in the past (he's almost 19). He's a sweetie, not just because he's mine, but is very well liked by others; however he laughs on the outside, cries on the inside. He can't stand someone being a jerk to someone else because that's when the REALLY ANGRY BEAST rears its ugly head. He will act out and is always the champion of the underdog, even if it hurts himself. A couple of months ago, he stopped the med that he was taking and his sleep pattern is the pits and is not motivated (jumpy stomach and all). Now I know that these are signs of depression and anxiety, but can depression cause all this pent-up ANGER?? He is going back into therapy on Monday-1/22 because after nearly breaking his hand tonight from punching a door frame and I know that he'll need some kind of a med again, but I never thought anger could be such a symptom. If anyone has a similar interest or problem, I'd love to hear from them. Thanks so much!

     
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    Old 01-19-2007, 06:14 PM   #2
    firenice
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    Re: A question regarding anxiety, depression and anger

    There is a saying that depression is anger turned inwards. So, the fact that he is expressing his anger is probably keeping him from becoming overly depressed. However, there is another saying that underneath anger is sorrow; so, the reason he is getting so angry might have to do with unresolved grief from his past. It's good he's going to a counselor. Maybe some of the underlying issues that might be causing the anger can be addressed.

     
    Old 01-20-2007, 07:20 AM   #3
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    Re: A question regarding anxiety, depression and anger

    Hope, this is what it sounds like to me because I have seen this over and over again. Your son won't meet his own needs so he meets the needs of others to relieve some of the pain from not meeting his own needs. Solution - your son must meet his own needs! Not getting your needs met is a leading cause for anger. Anger is not the symptom of the depression - it could be the CAUSE of the depression! Unexpressed anger can cause depression. I hope you all can get to the roots of his issues. Why don't you ask him if he wants to start posting here in addition to his therapy?

    Last edited by Sannah; 01-20-2007 at 07:21 AM.

     
    Old 01-20-2007, 08:10 PM   #4
    hopetofeelwell1
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    Re: A question regarding anxiety, depression and anger

    Hi Firenice & Sannah--Thank you so much for you support in this as it is so hard to watch your only child hurting so much and asking God to help remedy some of this. He is looking forward to going to therapy and I really feel that there have been so many issues in his early life that were never addressed and once he was put on an anti-depressant, those feelings got buried. Now that he's been without the med for over two months, some of these things are being let out of the vacuum. I also told him that he could join the board and share his issues with others and he also agreed to that, too. Like I've said, he is really deep down a wonderful kid who has learned to reach out when there are warning signs. There is so much alcoholism in my family (I myself am in recovery over 22 yrs.) and I think it would destroy me to see him end up with some of a serious inherited disease. He doesn't drink or smoke and because he had a weight problem until he was 17(eating to make the sadness go away but ending up a vicious circle), he is very particular about what he eats now (and lost 60 lbs.). I think because he was tormented as a child about his weight (Yep--I wore that hat, too!), the issues were never really addressed and he is a thin teenager with and overweight, sensitive personality. I am so glad that posted on this board in particular because both mother and son can continue their healings. Bless you both and thanks so much--Hopeto

     
    Old 01-22-2007, 07:37 PM   #5
    hopetofeelwell1
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    Re: A question regarding anxiety, depression and anger

    Hi all--back again! Today is Monday and my son went for his new therapy session(I sat in also). What a very nice girl and my son likes her. She suggested until he gets to the psych doc in about 3 weeks to take melatonin for sleep. He actually(in the car) was smiling--actually at times couldn't stop laughing when we were making light-hearted conversation! He had lunch and had a 4 hour nap!!! I have been saying my prayers to St. Dymphna(patron saint of mental and emotional disorders) and St. Maximillian Kolbe(patron saint of addictions--for my strength) and they have been answering my prayers. Also, another bit of good news! My son has want to pursue being a pharmacist or pharmacy tech and when the mail came today, there was a brochure from his high school offering pharmacy tech courses! If ever a mother's heart swelled, it was mine today with such gratitude. I don't know how I lived before I found this board because you guys are terrific. Thanks so much for being my Rocks of Gibraltar over these trying weeks. Take care--Hopeto

     
    Old 01-23-2007, 07:27 AM   #6
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    Re: A question regarding anxiety, depression and anger

    Hopetofeelwell, this is good news! I am so happy for you all.

     
    Old 01-23-2007, 02:46 PM   #7
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    Re: A question regarding anxiety, depression and anger

    Hi Sannah! Thank you so much. Today, however, is only a so-so day. My son keeps feeling this guilt thing and alot of social anxiety. Our family neurologist wants him to start taking melatonin before he goes to sleep tonight so that maybe he can get into the groove of a good night's sleep. He replays the same negative emotions everyday and I'm sure he's got some residual stuff going on from the old meds he took before not to mention some real issues from years before. At least now he has something to look forward to in a month or so. I will keep in touch with all of wonderful guys and keep you all posted. Thanks again--Hopeto

     
    Old 01-24-2007, 04:38 AM   #8
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    Re: A question regarding anxiety, depression and anger

    Why does he feel guilty?

     
    Old 01-24-2007, 04:42 AM   #9
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    Re: A question regarding anxiety, depression and anger

    I'm curious - was he born prematurely? Did he have hypoxia at birth? Was he a "floppy baby"?

    This has been connected with insomnia and the other symptoms you have described.

     
    Old 01-24-2007, 07:44 PM   #10
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    Re: A question regarding anxiety, depression and anger

    Hi Barbecue & everyone! Yes--my son was 15 days early, but was a good sleeper--even having an asthma problem at a very young age didn't affect his sleep unless he was sick with something else. He is just like me--clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety and one of the facets of it is a case of OCD as well(that's my husband's side ). I swear, he was on Effexor XR for 2 1/2 years through high school because his symptoms were getting worse. The stress and strain of the high school years(peers, being insulted for having a weight problem, social anxiety--you name it) did a job on him. Add to that, the clinical diagnoses, and you have a kid who laughs on the outside and cries on the inside. From the time he went to school, he would replay the whole day and have trouble getting to sleep. The only time I ever saw my son relax was when he was home from school sick. His marks were always in the honor roll bracket even through all of this. He is a very bright person in so many ways with a heart of gold. If I ever lost him(he's my only child and I was never suppose to have kids in the first place), That would be it for me. The guilt, he says, is that he thinks about the things he used to do while he was on the meds(which was fine as far as I can see) and wonders if he made a lot of mistakes while on them and what would a girl think of him if she knew he had this depression and anxiety. I've told him to stop worrying about girls right now--just take care of you and get yourself to feel better. I also said in time, if someone really loves and cares for you, they're gonna love you no matter what through thick and thin. He has trouble accepting his frailties because society puts pressure on young men to be body builders and be macho. He lost 70 lbs and looks fantastic and works out. He never shook the heavy kid inside--all that he did was change the outer shell. With therapy and time, I pray that he will learn to love himself no matter what because he is lovable and has so much to offer this world. Thank you all so much for putting up with my long post--I don't know how to say this any other way. Take care--Hope to--

     
    Old 01-24-2007, 07:45 PM   #11
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    Re: A question regarding anxiety, depression and anger

    Hi again--I forgot to ask--what is a "floppy baby? "

     
    Old 01-26-2007, 02:12 PM   #12
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    Re: A question regarding anxiety, depression and anger

    Hi! I just read the description of a "floppy baby" and he really doesn't fit the bill. He had an Apgar score of 9 at birth and seemed pretty good after we got him home. The first couple of weeks he did wake every 2 or 3 hours but he was hungry and we increased his formula with adding a teaspoon of cereal and he would sleep the night. It wasn't until he got to school and was picked on about his weight that the issues began. He was a smart kid and went to double kindergarten for the stimulus that they said he needed and was always proud of his scholastic accomplishments. He had trouble with concentration on english and some word problems and I swore he had adhd, but they (the school) said no. In the past 3 years, I took him to a psych doc who said he had depression and adhd. He, however, wanted to put my son on Ritalin and Prozac after a 5 minute interview. I said no to both because I felt my son needed further testing and interviews and the doc and I almost came to blows about this. I took him to two other psych docs who said, "depression with anxiety", which I came to agree with, and "possible bipolar II". He tried Lamictal and it made him feel awful. He has had more luck(minimal side effects)from anti-depressants but after a while they poop out. I wouldn't be surprised if they found that he has thyroid trouble in the future(shades of his mother being partially misdiagnosed as well, too).He gets so nerved up that he can't concentrate at times and I think that's what happened with the word problems in school. Everyone has had so many expectations of this kid scholastically that that stressed him out too, not letting him just be a kid. With time and prayer I'm sure we'll get this ironed out and in no way am I pushing him to go out to look for a job. My biggest thing right now with him is to have no stimuli before he goes to sleep and to start out sleeping, if he can, before midnight. Sometimes we're up after 1AM just talking about anything at all because that helps him relax, too. I really want to thank you guys for listening to me this week because that helps ME to get through this knowing I'm not alone. Thanks so much--Hopeto--

     
    Old 02-28-2007, 08:37 PM   #13
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    Re: A question regarding anxiety, depression and anger

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hopetofeelwell1 View Post
    Hi! I just read the description of a "floppy baby" and he really doesn't fit the bill. He had an Apgar score of 9 at birth and seemed pretty good after we got him home. The first couple of weeks he did wake every 2 or 3 hours but he was hungry and we increased his formula with adding a teaspoon of cereal and he would sleep the night. It wasn't until he got to school and was picked on about his weight that the issues began. He was a smart kid and went to double kindergarten for the stimulus that they said he needed and was always proud of his scholastic accomplishments. He had trouble with concentration on english and some word problems and I swore he had adhd, but they (the school) said no. In the past 3 years, I took him to a psych doc who said he had depression and adhd. He, however, wanted to put my son on Ritalin and Prozac after a 5 minute interview. I said no to both because I felt my son needed further testing and interviews and the doc and I almost came to blows about this. I took him to two other psych docs who said, "depression with anxiety", which I came to agree with, and "possible bipolar II". He tried Lamictal and it made him feel awful. He has had more luck(minimal side effects)from anti-depressants but after a while they poop out. I wouldn't be surprised if they found that he has thyroid trouble in the future(shades of his mother being partially misdiagnosed as well, too).He gets so nerved up that he can't concentrate at times and I think that's what happened with the word problems in school. Everyone has had so many expectations of this kid scholastically that that stressed him out too, not letting him just be a kid. With time and prayer I'm sure we'll get this ironed out and in no way am I pushing him to go out to look for a job. My biggest thing right now with him is to have no stimuli before he goes to sleep and to start out sleeping, if he can, before midnight. Sometimes we're up after 1AM just talking about anything at all because that helps him relax, too. I really want to thank you guys for listening to me this week because that helps ME to get through this knowing I'm not alone. Thanks so much--Hopeto--
    It sounds like he has bipolar he should be revaluated.Look it up he does show signs.

     
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