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Problem with my husband

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Old 01-06-2008, 04:47 PM   #1
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Location: St.Louis Mo
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fruitloop1024 HB User
Unhappy Problem with my husband

My husband has always had some anger issues. He has gotten much better since I met him almost 4 years ago. He used to hit things, never me, he has never physically harmed me, threatened or abused me in anyway. However, his anger makes me very anxious. I get really upset when he gets mad. I told him that before we have kids I want him to go see a therapist or something. I got pregnant before he went. He had been doing very well, but I lost the baby at 12 weeks. Since then, he has been a lot more testy. I have been dealing with the whole thing rather well. There have been a lot of other things that have been going on with him that have just been making this so much worse. He wont really talk to me about it, and he doesnt want anyone else to talk to him about it either. He had an out burst tonight and it got me really upset. He thinks that he is the only one that wants to hit things, but he's not. I want him to get some anger managment help and I want him to talk to someone, but he's told me before that he would go, but has never taken the initiative to go. Would going to see a couples therapist help? We dont really have any other problems except for his anger. We are able to talkk through everything else. I just dont know what to do. I do not want to bring a baby into an angry environment.
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Old 01-07-2008, 03:44 PM   #2
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: England
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Kovian HB User
Re: Problem with my husband

I understand what you're going through as far as the anger goes. I'm sorry for your loss.

I don't know if seeing a couples therapist would help much, if he wont talk to you about it then what are the chances of him talking to a total stranger about it? Although it might work, you might want to suggest it to him - only lightly so he dosnt feel like you're pressuring or pushing him into going.

As for the anger management - that's the best idea for him. Maybe if he dosn't have the drive to actually go and arrange it for himself then you could speak to him, ask him if he would still be willing to go through with it and if he says yes then maybe you should contact the people you need and sort it all out for him (asking him when a good time would be etc) so that all he has to do is show up there. Sometimes people do want to do things but are weary of taking the steps to actually do them, so maybe he needs a little help with getting it all done.

OR you could encourage him to write it down, his troubles. Maybe in the form of a journal or a bl0g, that way he can get used to writing it all down, getting it all out and maybe when he's comfortable enough he'll show you what he's written.

It's always hard trying to help people who just wont let you help them, but I really hope things get better for you, it's not nice living with an angry partner but he's obviously a good guy for never laying a finger on you, so don't give up on it. =] Goodluck!

Last edited by Kovian; 01-07-2008 at 03:48 PM.

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