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  • A small woman with a HUGE anger problem

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    Old 02-13-2008, 06:08 PM   #1
    kashmir08
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    A small woman with a HUGE anger problem

    I'm 31, and especially after my mom died when I was 15, I have had a problem with anger. I have verbally abused people I love, have flipped people off while driving, argued with people for the smallest reason, and just have done alot of damage. The result is that I am alone, and by alone, I mean ALONE. That only makes me more ****** off, but I have to take responsibility for my previous actions and behaviors, and learn to change the way I deal my my anger/rage. The problem I find is, it seems everywhere that I go, something just starts to frustrate me enough to where I want to blow up. The speed limit is 30, not 10!!!! I know I am small, so what?!!! How does Filet o' Fish sound like Chicken McNuggets?!!! AGHHH! My therapist is attempting to work with me on this, good luck. Good luck to all of you too, this world as you know is just made to make you angry it seems to me.

     
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    Old 02-14-2008, 07:23 AM   #2
    Sannah
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    Re: A small woman with a HUGE anger problem

    Kashmir, you have a good attitude, that you are taking responsibility for your actions and you want to change. I used to get set off much easier than I do now. I have learned patience since then and have dealt with my anxiety so now I hardly ever respond to anything in a split second. I have found if you don't respond immediately to things then you can make a better choice in how to respond.

    I have also learned that if the person in front of me is only going ten mph what real difference does this make in my life? Think about it. We could all slow down a bit in life and make our lives better.

    So you were angry after your mom died? I was never close to my mom but I have thought about my own daughters if something ever happened to me. I am sorry that you lost your mom.

    Last edited by Sannah; 02-14-2008 at 07:23 AM.

     
    Old 05-17-2008, 10:18 AM   #3
    Arggg
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    Re: A small woman with a HUGE anger problem

    Kashmir, I relate to you so much, except I'm a lot OLDER.

    I worked out a lot of my anger with therapy and anti-depressants. But that was just a start. I had to work on my diet too. I found out that chocolate makes me mean, and eating junk food just exacerbates anger and irritability.

    I also decided something else: that anger is a GOOD thing if properly chanelled. It's a form of energy. Many well known people have channeled their anger into good things - Martin Luther King, for instance. Can you imagine how angry that man was? But he turned it into something good. He's just one of many.

    I'm a skinny, itty-bitty woman. I don't often go into screaming rages (like I used to) or insult people. But the anger is still inside me, and people can kind of sense it. Very few people try to bully me. If they do, I walk away from them; I don't talk to them anymore. I think people see something in my eyes that says "don't mess with me". I don't know.

    This world is really an awful place and getting worse all the time; people aren't taking care of each other. People are stupid and thoughtless. It's not just Chicken McNuggets; people don't pay attention to really important things, either, and that's how people get into accidents, swallow poison, etc. People aren't born stupid; they just don't learn, and nobody seems to be teaching them!!! Well, anyway, my point is - you're NOT alone.

     
    Old 08-09-2008, 09:18 AM   #4
    wrongagain08
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    Re: A small woman with a HUGE anger problem

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kashmir08 View Post
    I'm 31, and especially after my mom died when I was 15, I have had a problem with anger. I have verbally abused people I love, have flipped people off while driving, argued with people for the smallest reason, and just have done alot of damage. The result is that I am alone, and by alone, I mean ALONE. That only makes me more ****** off, but I have to take responsibility for my previous actions and behaviors, and learn to change the way I deal my my anger/rage. The problem I find is, it seems everywhere that I go, something just starts to frustrate me enough to where I want to blow up. The speed limit is 30, not 10!!!! I know I am small, so what?!!! How does Filet o' Fish sound like Chicken McNuggets?!!! AGHHH! My therapist is attempting to work with me on this, good luck. Good luck to all of you too, this world as you know is just made to make you angry it seems to me.
    kashmir
    i do sympathise with you for what you are trying to deal with.
    i have a huge anger problem too.
    my tolerance level is very low
    but i think it is made worse by my having essential tremors.
    i was born with it and have been living with it since my childhood(i'm now 41)
    so it's been a long time.
    personally i don't think i will ever get the better over my anger problem...all i can do really is supress it but it's always there.
    do you want to try a task with me starting from this monday? (11/08/08)
    i'm planning to go through next week mon-sun without giving way to anger in any form.
    if i can do it then i can try another week and so forth.
    you are welcome to try it out with me?
    perhaps we can log how we coped each day on here?
    fancy trying?
    let me know by tommorow at the latest
    otherwise i wish you all the best.
    regards
    wa08

    Last edited by wrongagain08; 08-09-2008 at 09:19 AM.

     
    Old 09-13-2008, 01:37 PM   #5
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    Re: A small woman with a HUGE anger problem

    Go to kickboxing classes. They are great. They work for me and my son. I think part of my son's issue is his teen years but once you become an adult, it is time to own responsabilities. I hope he learns soon. As for you, I really will like you to try the kickboxing classes. Trust me, you are going to be too tired to get mad. :0)

     
    Old 09-13-2008, 01:45 PM   #6
    Momjo08
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    Re: A small woman with a HUGE anger problem

    My son has anger problems but does not think about people like this. His problem is when he can not have control of things they way he wants to. For example, his girlfriend breaking up with him, or his dad having an argument. He is the sweetest child other people , except with me and his dad , who I divirced) when he is angry. Is like he likes to channel in us. as far as me, I used to me bad at the world liek you, but was I got divorced, I felt better. Then once I experienced my son's issue, I got humble and think different in life. Why, becasue I do not want to spend my life with anger. I want to enjoy it.

     
    Old 09-18-2008, 03:12 AM   #7
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    Re: A small woman with a HUGE anger problem

    It's going to be hard. But start living in the moment. When your driving, drive, look at the car infront of you and actually feel it as being a car, a human with feelings and a life just like you. look at the nature pass you on either side, really look at the beauty. When you get home at nite and you're making food, actually feel the food and watch it simmer. When you eat you probably eat fast too right? Take it one spoon at a time. This should slow things down. It's going to take work a lot of it. When you get off track again focus on what you're doing.

     
    Old 09-20-2008, 04:05 PM   #8
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    Re: A small woman with a HUGE anger problem

    I agree with Ticketman, live in the moment, it seems you are living in an unconscious state because of your past and your "pain-body" is making you miserable. I only have this insight because I read "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle, and recognized myself in many pages of his book, and his explanation of the "pain-body" made a lot of sense to me. When I feel my "pain-body" is acting up and I want to argue with someone because of past hurts, I stop myself and realize my unconscious is taking control of my actions, and I know I have to "get present" or "live in the moment."

    In addition, I recognize when someone else in my family is feeling their "pain-body" and acting up with me, and I can understand it, accept it, and not fall into their trap of dragging me into an argument because of something that happened in their past. I recognize now, thanks to Tolle, that I am dealing with their unconscious mind, not their present mind.

    I am so much happier and peaceful since I read "A New Earth". If you can pick up the book, reading it might help you. I read it on the southern California beaches and I can't tell you how many people approached me (men and women), asking me if I was enjoying the book, and telling me they already read it.

    Good Luck!

     
    Old 09-23-2008, 08:39 PM   #9
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    Re: A small woman with a HUGE anger problem

    That is excellant advise. I wish I could remember that in the checkout lane. Or like today I got food stamps. Great, but the lady almost had to cancell my card, could have resulted in another 2.5 hr wait. Anyway, I didn't react, because the problem dissipated. But I was thinking "I'm ready to crack." But that living in the moment is so awsome. Easier said then done. It's just so hard to deal with the tedium of life sometimes. I know that sounds like waa waa crap, but it isssssssssssssssssssssssss. Thanks again.

     
    Old 09-23-2008, 08:41 PM   #10
    urbandale
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    Re: A small woman with a HUGE anger problem

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jacal5 View Post
    I agree with Ticketman, live in the moment, it seems you are living in an unconscious state because of your past and your "pain-body" is making you miserable. I only have this insight because I read "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle, and recognized myself in many pages of his book, and his explanation of the "pain-body" made a lot of sense to me. When I feel my "pain-body" is acting up and I want to argue with someone because of past hurts, I stop myself and realize my unconscious is taking control of my actions, and I know I have to "get present" or "live in the moment."

    In addition, I recognize when someone else in my family is feeling their "pain-body" and acting up with me, and I can understand it, accept it, and not fall into their trap of dragging me into an argument because of something that happened in their past. I recognize now, thanks to Tolle, that I am dealing with their unconscious mind, not their present mind.

    I am so much happier and peaceful since I read "A New Earth". If you can pick up the book, reading it might help you. I read it on the southern California beaches and I can't tell you how many people approached me (men and women), asking me if I was enjoying the book, and telling me they already read it.

    Good Luck!
    No surprise there. California I mean.

     
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