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Anger Management Message Board

My wife moved out!

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Old 11-18-2008, 05:06 AM   #1
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wolfgar767 HB User
Red face My wife moved out!

I would like to start off by saying hello to everyone who is on these message boards. I think that support is very effective and allows for open mindedness. I would like to tell everyone that I am married for about 14 months and enjoying it less and less. I KNOW I have a PROBLEM and that problem is ANGER. As the time went on with knowing my wife I would get more and more myself by doing things that others would not approve. Now in our relationship I am finding that we come home from work to eat and go to bed within 2 hours. The time we share now on our 2 days off is to do chores and shopping runs for the house. I recently found out that my wife is pregnant and it fills my heart with joy! We were not expecting a baby for some years ahead. Now I feel that all this stress over the year or so has caused me to unwind in a evil way. As we became closer to each other I found myself slipping off the handle. I thought it was bad but I felt I was a different person for those 5 seconds. I could not explain those nasty words I would say or those aggressive movements I would direct towards my wife. So 2 days ago I came home form working 12 hours and found myself sitting at the table with homemade chicken noodle soup that my wife made for me which was so great. I thanked her and directed my attention to my gaming system. I find that playing my game helps unwind me from a hard days of work. Well the most unthinkable thing happened and I feel soo ashamed of myself. She got angry at me and started to cry and was on the stairs. So i turned off the game and went upstairs when she hit me in the leg. I grabbed her and said "I will throw you down the stairs and kill that baby." I did not do it and she packed her bags and left to go to my moms house. I now have 2 weeks to get my self on a good track so that way I can become a good father to those that I love and not lash out with anger. PLEASE HELP ME AND JUST THROW OUT SOME SUGGESTIONS! THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY STORY.

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Old 11-18-2008, 05:30 AM   #2
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Re: My wife moved out!

Your wife must have been pretty frightened. I would have gone too. As upsetting it is for you to feel out of control at times, those around you are more afraid. I would hope that you would see a doctor for your anger. He might refer you to a mental health specialist. You might just be under lots of stress, but you might have some sort of chemical imbalance that can be fixed with medication. Your wife needs to protect that unborn baby, so she needs to stay away from you until you get your anger under control. If you want to keep her and the baby in your life, then you should see the doctor right away and get started on the road to good mental health. I hope you find some help and are able to enjoy your new little family soon.

Old 11-30-2008, 08:42 AM   #3
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Re: My wife moved out!

Honestly, I hope she never goes back for the sake of the child. Sorry if that offends you.

Old 11-30-2008, 10:44 AM   #4
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Re: My wife moved out!

You have taken an important first step by admitting you have a problem. I agree that a visit to a doctor is important. I also think it is crucial that you go to a marriage counselor, preferably with your wife, but by yourself if she won't go. If she won't go, go without her. One mistake -- as serious as it was -- doesn't have to doom your marriage.

From reading your post, it seems your wife is not blameless here either -- she is the one who got angry first and struck out at you. You both need counseling. You don't say if alcohol was involved with this incident (for either of you) but if it was, that's another issue you'll have to look at.

It won't be easy to mend this divide between you and your wife but if you are both motivated it can be done. Good luck to you.

Old 12-01-2008, 02:09 PM   #5
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Re: My wife moved out!

you do recognise that you have anger issues but it seems you are bored and frustrated with the mundane everday married life as well
marriage has its ups and downs ..thats a given , but turning your back on your wife and relaxing with your games is not spending quality time with her
and Im betting shes bored, frustrated and feeling unappreciated
after all marriage isnt just about you and what you want,its supposed to be a partnership,you are supposed to be looking after each other
which doesnt appear to be happening and that might explain her lashing out at you , but to threaten to kill your unborn child is way out of need a psychiatrist or a divorce or both
Im hoping your wife doesnt give you a second chance and slaps you with a divorce and every kind of legal restrictions possible to impose upon you to protect her child
and I dont give a rats if my opinion offends you
you asked for it... you got my honest opinion

Old 12-01-2008, 08:37 PM   #6
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Re: My wife moved out!

You made a horrible decision that will cost you dearly! It's unfortunate you were playing a video game, when you should have been "winding down" by spending time with your wife. There's not much you can do or say now, but you do need some help before you can rebuild your life and move on.

Old 12-19-2008, 07:40 PM   #7
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Re: My wife moved out!

There is something wrong. You should not flip out like that and say the things you do. You need to see a medical professional. Perhaps you are bipolar or clinically depressed. Medications and counceling will treat and help. Most importantly, fix yourself to make yourself a better person. Dont do it to get someone back. It is her decision to move back or not, but it is your decision to ensure you do not do this sort of thing ever again.

Old 01-16-2009, 11:05 AM   #8
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Re: My wife moved out!

You need to talk with someone asap. I, for one would not return to any man that threatened the life of me or my unborn child. Regardless of whether she hit you on the leg or not (she was wrong but never should a woman feel physically threatened by a man whos strength surpasses her).

You both need therapy.

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