It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Anger Management Message Board

  • i need advise about anger managment.

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 01-28-2009, 02:11 AM   #1
    rkkj's Avatar
    Join Date: Jan 2009
    Posts: 1
    rkkj HB User
    Lightbulb i need advise about anger managment.

    ok i have huge anger problems and i admit it

    it has got me into alot of trouble over the years and i want some advice from some one that has experienced it for them selves.

    i dont want advise from people who just wanna talk about it i want real people that have been through what i have.

    ok i have been to the doctors and a shrink and still they have not seemed to help me at all

    i get angry at everything even reading some of these threads **** me of coz people giving their thoughts and opinions havent gone through it.

    its not like we wanna be angry its actualy very depressing knowing that people hate u for it.

    i am on medication every day and i hate it. it makes u feel tired and paranoid

    so if anyone that has gone through this please let me and anyone else know of some personal tips that might help.

    mine at the moment is write a letter saying what u fell to who ever has ****** u off then burn it.

    cheers Rik

    Sponsors Lightbulb
    Old 02-06-2009, 10:05 PM   #2
    Join Date: Feb 2009
    Location: Saskatchewan
    Posts: 7
    wondersabout HB User
    Re: i need advise about anger managment.

    I'm new here, however, I've been reading about anger issues. Anger is a tough emotion to recover from if you do not have the proper support. It took me years to understand my rage.It starts with the "will" to want a better life. What helped me in my recovery was to talk one on one with an experienced counselor. Anger /Rage is energy stored in your being. This energy is a result of unresolved pain.This energy is experienced in our daily lives when we are "triggered" by a similiar experience. Even a "look" can trigger us. Long term sadness, fear, etc. are at the core of our anger, and unless these memories are acknowledged, we will remain angry!

    Be gentle with yourself. Know that whatever happened was not your fault. Begin to tell yourself that you are a precious being of the Universe/God/Jesus, ( what ever you consider to be of a Higher Power)If you do not believe in a Higher power, know and believe that there is nothing wrong with you! Every human being has value. We were born with this, it is a Principle of Life, which every human being is born with.


    Old 03-23-2009, 08:37 PM   #3
    graces23's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr 2008
    Location: Australia
    Posts: 90
    graces23 HB User
    Re: i need advise about anger managment.

    Firstly, I want to say something. Your post sounds angry. I took offence at the way in which you said you didn’t want people to write unless they have experienced anger issues themselves, and this is of course understandable, but the way you said it annoyed me because people here are trying to help you, so just be a bit nicer about it please. I am also saying this cause I want you to know you can’t just expect anyone to accept your anger, you know? I don’t mind if you find this part of my post offensive or angering or annoying. I just hope you still read the rest of the post and I hope it helps you a bit.

    Secondly, I have been through many anger problems. I had been “throwing tantrums” from about the age of 17 until the present day, although as I age (I’m 30 now), they are becoming a lot less frequent and severe.

    I was usually ok, but I used to get so angry and for no real reason sometimes. Or not a reason anyone else had caused anyway. But I blamed everyone and everything else for how I felt. I would get very tense in my pre-anger phase. Then someone would do something tiny and that would never anger me normally (always my girlfriend only, the person closest to me and who I was most comfortable with) and I’d lash out, as if it was the last straw. They had no idea what they’d done, or why I’d reacted so furiously. I would throw chairs or glasses (never at them), punch walls, kick things, scream (both shouting at them, mostly terribly hurtful and rude/obscene words, as well as literally just screaming like a horror movie type scream), swear with almost every word I said, slam doors, be horribly rude and insulting and hurtful, and I’d be shaking. But at the same time I felt numb inside, and also my mind was saying to me WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? STOP IT! But I didn’t stop until I’d exhausted myself and ended up crying.

    I haven’t had one of these episodes for a long time now, at least 2 years. I sometimes still feel myself heading towards one, getting that tension and feeling this nagging annoyance at everything, this total dissatisfaction with my life and a sort of resentment towards my girlfriend, but I never know why I feel this. I think for me it’s because if I get stressed and start feeling this overwhelming negativity, and she can’t fix it or doesn’t understand how I feel, I start to feel annoyed at that. WHY can’t she make it all ok, that sort of thing. It’s totally irrational, I know. Then she does something that normally I’d hardly even notice (like one time she accidentally squirted me with soy sauce. Usually we’d have laughed at this, but that time I yelled at her and sarcastically thanked her for wrecking my top and then I threw a chair and stormed off, yelling. This was in a busy shopping centre too by the way), or else something happens that disappoints me (like another time I was stressed, not sure why now, and we were out to lunch at a café, and I felt unconsciously like this was the last good thing I had to look forward to and I wanted it to be perfect, but then the waiter said they had no eggs left, and I freaked out and stormed off, crying hysterically! It’s quite funny now, but at the time I embarrassed myself, my girlfriend, I appeared like a spoilt little kid not getting their own way, I left my girlfriend at the table where she then had to pay the bill for the drinks we’d already started drinking, etc) so I can’t deal with it and have a tantrum.

    I always used to think I had no control…I used to feel that during the tension phase that my girlfriend was against me, she didn’t love me, and wouldn’t care if we broke up or what I said to her. This was one of my excuses for allowing myself to indulge my anger and let myself get rid of my stress by making her feel bad and hurting her.

    I hated my behaviour afterwards, but…I just felt I couldn’t help it. Now I see I could, and can, control it. You just don’t let your anger control you. You are in control of how you behave. You really are. Someone on this forum actually once said to me that I wouldn’t have a tantrum or treat my mother or father or best friend or work mate that way, and no, I really wouldn’t. I’d be mortified if I did. So because I only did it to my girlfriend, that showed I DID have control of it. So if I could control it, and was still acting this way, then I was CHOOSING to hurt her. And did I want to do that? NO! So…somewhere after that, I just found it easier to stop feeling that way. If I felt myself getting tense, I’d laugh. It helped.

    Now, this is my story. Your’s, if you’re on medication and are angry with everyone, not just one person, this is much more complicated I think. You may NOT have as much control over yourself. But then I ask, WHY do you think you’re so angry all the time? Why do you feel you’re not being given, or able to get, what you want and need to be happy?

    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Going to send letter about BPD; need advice SisterofBPD Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill 6 08-02-2006 12:46 PM
    anger, cocaine and he bipolar kissblue Bipolar Disorder 6 10-29-2004 08:24 PM

    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off

    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:44 AM.

    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!