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I think there is something wrong with me

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Old 05-27-2009, 04:47 AM   #1
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 3
needhelp931 HB User
I think there is something wrong with me

I had been on Anxiety meds (zoloft) for 8 years. Last year I just felt like the Zoloft quit working, so the doctor tried to change it up well this last one we tried was Prozac and it do nothing for me. I've been off of everything for about 3 months now. My anger and anxiety attacks are out of control. I get so incredibly mad. I can't seem to calm down I lash out at my husband constantly. He gives me plenty of reasons to be mad, but there are some things I know I'm over reacting to, but I can't calm down and deal with it. I have a 20 month old child and I'm terrified that I will lose it with her and I can't have that. This morning it happened again getting ready for work. The Jeans I thought were okay to wear to work today turned out to be a pair that need repair and I could not wear them. I had nothing else in my closet to wear. The house is a mess and at least 10 loads of laundry need to be done. I found a pair of other jeans that are sooo dang tight and short on me and so uncomfortable to wear and a very wrinkled shirt to wear. It was either that or stay home and I'm the only one working and I can't afford to. Then I couldn't find my debit card or my check book. My car is so jammed packed with crap because my husband refuses to ever take anything out and I'm fishing through the whole car for my check book and debit card. I find them, I lock the car and put the keys in the house and get into my carpoolers car to head to work and I see I left the damn interior lights on in the car. I go off, have to go back in the house get the keys unlock the car turn the lights off put the keys back in the house and finally leave for work. This is all happening at 4:00 am and Iím not a morning person. Then the person I carpool with turns the damn heat on in the car and I roll down my window because it's so dang hot outside, so she turns it hotter. OMG I'm literally going off the wall and had to deal with this most of my ride to work. I get to work and everything Iím ****** about is just lingering... Our dog has taken up peeing in the house and it reeks now and heíll never be allowed inside again, I donít have a working vacuum, I donít have a shampooer to clean it up, I have 10 loads of laundry to do, the kitchen is a mess, the living room is a mess, my childís room is a mess, my bathroom is a gross mess, the spare bathroom is a mess, my bedroom is picked up because my husband attempted to clean it up as it was a awful pigsty, but I donít have a vacuum so there is a ton of crap in the carpet that gets on my feet and gets into the bed and it irritates me all night, I canít seem to stay caught up with cat box he poops as much as the dog, my daughter was with a sitter for one month and I donít know what happened and now my good baby has become an evil whinny tantrum throwing child, she has been pulled from there and my husband is taking care of her because he donít work, there is no work, I work 10 hour days with 1 hour drive time each way to work, I barely pay the bills, my family has 16 horses, and we are trying to build another paddock for my husbandís horse and my daughters pony and the ******* rock is so bad we canít get any posts in the ground and I need to get them moved out of the paddock they are in ASAP because a mare and foal need to go in there, I could go on and onÖ I just donít know how to handle it anymore. I totally feel like Iím losing m y mind and I canít. I have the most beautiful child I need to stay sane for, but Iím afraid Iím going insane.

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Old 05-30-2009, 05:03 AM   #2
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 5
moneyshot HB User
Re: I think there is something wrong with me

get rid of that cat and dog
sell the horses
buy a vacuum

Old 06-01-2009, 11:18 AM   #3
Join Date: May 2009
Location: San Jose,Costa Rica
Posts: 5
delapoma HB User
Re: I think there is something wrong with me

Jesus!!!!you need to calm down,take a deep to your husband ,he has to help you in this situation you are,he is very responsible ,and you also have to him he must help you.......
"What doesn't kill me makes me stronger"

Old 06-02-2009, 03:08 PM   #4
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 3
Matt1972 HB User
Re: I think there is something wrong with me

Family counseling! 10 loads of dirty laundry and you hubby is home all day. No wonder you take drugs

Old 06-02-2009, 05:25 PM   #5
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 2
smokinn1973 HB User
Re: I think there is something wrong with me

Why isn't your husband doing any of the house work since you are the only one working? I have 3 kids,2 dogs and a cat. I mow the yard,take the kids to bus stop,get them fed showered,and off to bed. I take out the garbage,get the cat box cleaned out,the dogs stay out most of the day when the weather is good. As for the person you ride with,she sounds inconsiderate,ask her why she does that to you when you ride together. Good Luck!

Old 07-02-2009, 02:25 PM   #6
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Seattle, Wa
Posts: 230
Alexa3 HB User
Re: I think there is something wrong with me

Your "Evil whinny child" is becoming you, as you go so goes the children. Family counseling is the right idea.

Old 02-25-2010, 07:48 AM   #7
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 192
Rolex HB User
Re: I think there is something wrong with me

You are stressed out to the max and if you don't stop you are going to blow a fuse and short circuit. Your child is 10 months old. She needs her Mom home with her, not to be 'dropped off ' at the sitters. Children need Moms. That is how God made it. Your child is screaming like this because she feels all your stress. They are human with feelings, not toys..
Your husband needs to start doing some work around the house and get a job. I know unempoyment is bad, but if you contunue on this was you will be sick soon. I know, I did it. And am now paying the price.
Get yourself calmed down, for you childs sake and figure out how to change your life. Or you are going to blow a gasket inside or blow up on the outside. Life is better than living like that. Calm down, and if you can't get an appt. with the Dr. and get on some zoloft or something. Look what you are doing to your child.

Old 03-01-2010, 06:21 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: upstate,NY
Posts: 729
kdel HB Userkdel HB User
Re: I think there is something wrong with me

Well I don't blame you for being a wreck! You work 10 hour days and commute 1 hour each way - that makes it a 12 hour day. Your husband is home! Why the Heck isn't he doing anything? He needs to step up and start doing somethings around the house. What does he do all day anyway? Does he expect you to come home after 12 hours and start doing laundry and everything else ?? Is there some reason he can't throw in a couple of loads during the day? I don't understand this and I would be losing it also. Having said all that I do still think that maybe you should make another appt. with your doc but maybe if you weren't coming home to a disaster everyday you wouldn't need any meds. I wish you luck!

Old 03-03-2010, 12:19 PM   #9
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 2
newpersonjc HB User
Re: I think there is something wrong with me

you can't pay the bills BECAUSE you have 16 horses! Simplify your life girl!
Get your husband to start doing the chores around the house.... He's lucky he has a wife who works and "tries" to pay the bills.
my heart goes out to you!

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