It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Anger Management Message Board

  • I need help with my anger

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 02-16-2010, 02:37 AM   #1
    benjamin30978
    Newbie
    (male)
     
    benjamin30978's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2010
    Location: Derry N.H.
    Posts: 1
    benjamin30978 HB User
    I need help with my anger

    Hello,
    I have really bad anger problems an I recently, not only realized my problems, But that I need to face them, Now I am on Zoloft an Adderall, an I still get out of control angry with my kid with my girl friend, anyone to close to me. I really want to stop my anger. I really want to be in control. Plz Give me some help out their.
    thanks

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 02-19-2010, 11:57 AM   #2
    CFIDS
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    CFIDS's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2010
    Posts: 142
    CFIDS HB User
    Re: I need help with my anger

    I can help you and you can help me...I have anger issues too...but I also recognize them...I can't obviously reply to every post, but I select YOU to talk about this with and hopefully this will be a productive thread that others will follow and contribute to. I am on a limited time budget right now, but I will reply to this later in more detail.

    But for now, just know you are not alone. I have learned that we expect too much. What seems normal and rational to us, is just not the way the world is. That guy who cut you off in traffic this monring, he is EVERYWHERE and is NEVER gonna go away...once you learn to accept less out of people, then you will be less upset when they "do you wrong". That is all for now, but I hope to tlak about this in depth with you cause I need help with my anger (even when justified) too.

     
    Old 02-20-2010, 02:28 PM   #3
    CFIDS
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    CFIDS's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2010
    Posts: 142
    CFIDS HB User
    Re: I need help with my anger

    So tell me more about your anger issues...what sets you off? How did you realize you had a problem?

     
    Old 02-21-2010, 12:34 AM   #4
    matt3507
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    matt3507's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2006
    Location: seattle
    Posts: 171
    matt3507 HB User
    Re: I need help with my anger

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by CFIDS View Post
    once you learn to accept less out of people, then you will be less upset when they "do you wrong".
    CFIDS that is genius, seriously. Thank you! That makes so much sense to me. When I get angry with someone you are absolutely right - I was expecting them to read my mind and do my bidding, or not cut me off or whatever.

    I will start another tangent. Driving is the #1 anger source for me. I hope this is not too simplistic, but I have started leaving way early and bringing a book (maybe on anger management) with me. I have read more in this last few months than I can remember. I always thought it was a waste of time getting places early, but the reading is awesome now. I also have been trying to be the nice guy on the road. I let everyone in and wave. It feels great and I won't get shot either, lol!

    Cheers, Matt3507

     
    Old 02-21-2010, 07:49 PM   #5
    CFIDS
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    CFIDS's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2010
    Posts: 142
    CFIDS HB User
    Angry Re: I need help with my anger

    Hey glad I can help...I need help too...I know that I am not one of those guys who "looks for a reason to get mad". THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WITH anger issues that are looking for failure so they CAN get mad...I like to refer to those people as bullys. All I want is to be left alone...but I am learing that it is not that simple. Even when I have a "good reason" or "I know I am right", sometimes you just have to pick your battles...It is really hard for me to do because I can't stand being in the right and being treated as if I am the bad guy. This obviously can get very deep into relationships...but for purposes of this discussion since you want to talk traffic, I have a perfect illustration of this point.

    A guy cuts you off in traffic, you SLAM on your brakes to preserver your life, you get chest pain, blood pressure shoots up, you spill some coffee (decaf for me) and then after all that anguish he causes you the piece of garbage has the nerve to flip you off as if you somehow did him wrong...I just want to pull them out of the car and beat them...and if this was the wild west, I might...Only my Christianity is keeping these people safe.

    Now an example of what I am not is a bully...if a woman cut me off and caused all that, but then she realized it and waved she was sorry, I would not force the issue and the matter is for the most part over...I might still be upset, but not MAD. HOWEVER, a bully would force the issue and not know when to drop it...and not differentiate between intent. I mean intent does matter to a point. I just want people to leave me alone and get out of my way...I do that for other people, so why can't they do it for me...it has taken 18yrs of driving to realize that is not going to happen in traffic or in life totally.

    I saw 2 news stories that illustrate anger pretty well...one was a traffic story and the only one I have the energy to type right now. Short version...some AVG Joe has brand new truck which he is very proud of...He is driving down the HWY and doing the speed limit...a 22yo college girl who doesn't know how to merge correctly ignores him coming and the yield sign...she pulls right out in front of him then slammed on her brakes and stops in the HWY instead of either merging fluidly, or braking at the yield sign and waiting for a clear shot. The guy locks up his brakes and almost has a heart attack...somehow he manages to barley miss her but scalding hot coffee spills all over his new truck interior and genitals. It is up for debate whether she reacted at all, but she went on into traffic, and left him there as if she had done nothing wrong...he was so mad that he could not see straight...he sped up to her caught her, got in front of her on the HWY at 65mph, then waited for the right opportunity and locked his brakes up in front of the girl to the point of tire smoke. He wanted to show her how it feels, but she swerved and went of the HWY and crashed to her death. He still maintains that he was insane due to anger but he is sad she died because that was not his intentions...SHE on the other hand, would not have been charged with anything if he died...IF she even had a clue. It was a sad and unfortunate incident. The guy got life in prison...he was minding his own business and was assaulted on the HWY by that girl and it enraged him so that is why he did what he did...it doesn't make it okay, but I bet that he expected too much out of others and that is why he did what he did.

    What is it that if a perpitraitor flees the cops he can he charged with attempted murder, yet it is perfectly okay for the Joe Schmo in traffic to literally almost kill you with a deadly weapon (a car) and you are just expected to put up with it and cops will not do anything unless you actually do get hurt. I know...it is not that simple, but you can tell I am passionate about it...I am glad I am learning to face my anger, but the problem I have is though, if if I am expected to totally hold it in, then it causes me real stress and ultimately physical health issues...when I can rage and let it out, I feel better...But I never get mad at an innocent party...I am rational and willing to see the other side if there is a logical point they can present...I do not ignore inconvenient truths like 90% of people pick & choose to do.

    If there was a red truck outside and 1000 people could agree it is a red truck...I always come across the the people who would be willing to die to defend their argument that it is in fact a blue truck...It is VERY hard to deal with people like that but most people in this world are like that and when you show them you are in fact right, they conveniently get off with statements like "I don't want to talk about it anymore...blah blah blah"...but YOU my friend, are accountable and YOU could NEVER get way with that argument...but then again, YOU would never knowingly be hateful to someone while in the process of telling them a false statement...You would not knowingly tell them a false statement...but if you did by accident, you would listen to their side and own up in those time you might have been wrong...all you lust for is good communication, respect and low stress...but they come at you like missles on a daily basis...Even those closest to you can be the worst culprits...

    Last edited by CFIDS; 02-21-2010 at 07:55 PM.

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Really need to feel I'm not alone olderthen48 Chronic Pain 16 04-20-2010 03:40 AM
    i need advise about anger managment. rkkj Anger Management 2 03-23-2009 08:37 PM
    ADD or ADHD - Have teen with extreme anger issues, new to this need advice? jr2212 ADD / ADHD 11 10-04-2008 10:27 AM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:40 PM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!