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Anger after breakup of 35 year marriage

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Old 02-22-2010, 01:52 PM   #1
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caroleye HB User
Anger after breakup of 35 year marriage

My 'ex' lost his job last year, and had a literal mental breakdown. Overnight just told me he wanted no more commitments; that he wanted his complete freedom; that he was afraid of his mortality and he left me to deal with my disability. I realize it's a total mid-life crisis event, but he's terrified.

I'm in my 60's; no longer can drive; he was my only friend, and it was just him & me for all those years. Now I'm forced to live alone; no family or friends, and I'm totally "lost".

I just don't know how to deal with both my anger & resulting depression. I can't tolerate any drugs to help, as I get sick on them.

I so dislike this anger, but just cannot figure out how to deal with it. My career as a psychological counselor knows that the grieving process has to take place, but I'm stuck in the anger/depression & even still at the shock of this happening.

They say for every 3 years of marriage, it takes a year to go thru the process. Well I don't have that many years to get to the other side.

Any help so appreciated. I've always been in counseling since my late 20's, so it's this sudden break and my inability to get out and meet others that's so very difficult.

Thanks for any suggestions.

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Old 02-22-2010, 02:13 PM   #2
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Re: Anger after breakup of 35 year marriage

I have been blessed with a 33 year marriage but I know it can be taken away at any time. My thoughts are if my wife ever decides she needs to leave me and is 100% sold on her idea then because I love her I would have to wish her well and hope she changes her mind later. Time on Earth is so very short so as hard as it is we have to go on. I do have the stength of Jesus in my life and that really helps. I'm thinking if possible, try to go to church. There are a lot of women going through losses too and may be able to help you there. God Bless!!!

Last edited by hb-mod; 12-17-2010 at 01:57 AM. Reason: Removed Quote. Please use "QUICK reply" rather than "QUOTE reply". Thanks!

Old 07-24-2010, 07:27 PM   #3
crook back
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Smile Re: Anger after breakup of 35 year marriage

Hi there ,

I too had exactly the same thing happen to me;

I'd been married FAITHFULLY for 35yrs, the last few years I ended up in a wheelchair, after countlees operations, He had been cheating for 2 years, so I'm now left on my own.. living in a flat I bought from the money my ex had to pay me..

I have met some LOVELY new friends thru Websites, and found going out for coffee to meet them has been a lifesaver; I actually feel like I'm a feminine woman again..
.. of course you have to be very careful to vet them beforehand, thru the Web Administrators, with their help....

also Church is another nice way to meet people;

Perhaps joining a Womens' Craft group might suit you in the begginning to make new friends , and see where it leads ..

Anything to get you out the House or maybe you could invite them to yours ? ..

I wish you Much Luck in your Effort .. Kind Regards CB..

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