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I'm feeling unusualy aggressive lately

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Old 12-29-2012, 10:27 AM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3
Nova6339 HB User
I'm feeling unusualy aggressive lately

Hello everyone,

I'm posting here because I'm feeling unsure if my way of reacting to life is healthy - I think it's not.
The reasons for my problems are pretty obvious though, but I'll summarize it as short as possible for you. Oh, and thanks a lot in advance for spending your time on this!
2012 has been one hell of a year for me, with a lot of changes throughout. Up until March I was working as deputy head of operations at a logistics company in another state and would come home to my wife on the weekends. There was a lot of work but it paid well and it had been almost two years (I'm 29). Then, my efforts to find a job in the city my wife works in were successful and I joined an exciting new startup company as product manager for a small electric city car. We quit the rental contract for our apartment we shared for six years and then moved into a very nice house (for rent!) close to our jobs.
Living together again proved somewhat demanding, especially since I'm a really lazy guy and had had plenty of time for myself during the former job. Oh, maybe I should mention that I had quit smoking a couple of weeks before the move after a wisdom tooth surgery (I had been smoking one and a half packs per day for 13 years).
Well, all seemed to come together at last (although the new job was really demanding) when I accidentally discovered that she had slept with a guy she claimed was "just a good friend" who had been visiting. Within the following two weeks, it turned out that it was not just a one-time thing but a real affair and that she had also shown off some nude pictures of her around to some other guys. All trust between us had been destroyed and so I ended our relationship and will file for a divorce early next year.
From that point until basically now I had moved back in to my parents (who are very caring - way too much) while she stayed in the house until she found something new (she would have had no viable alternative, and yes I know that I'm too friendly).
It was then that I started being more and more agressive, contrary to the very calm, laid-back person I was before. Everyone wanted to help, and I found myself dragged along on way too many parties and suddenly everyone wanted me to show up in order to comfort me.
Even though I'll be moving into my own place shortly, everything feels incredibly out of control and I have a feeling of not having my own life anymore. In my case this translates to overly aggressive driving (I'm a reasonably good driver, thankfully) and feelings of extreme frustration even from the smallest issues. Today a friend called and announced his visit, and I downright told him that I wanted to be left alone for once in a very rude way. Thankfully, he understood (somewhat), but it makes me feel bad.
It's also not helping that my parents are having quite some issues with each other and that I found out that my ex-wife to be is spending christmas and new year's with that guy she slept with and tells him that she loves him.

Sorry for the lengthy text and thanks again for your time. Coming to think of it, the story seems way over the top, but it all really happened, I swear.
I'd just like to get some neutral opinion on all that and whether you agree that my ability to restrain myself and stay calm will improve once I move into my own place.

Thanks and best regards,


P.S.: If some of the facts seem unusual (renting a house, electric car), please note that I live in Germany. I just post it here so that no one of my ex-wife's family finds out - they think that we ended the relationship for no particular reason and it should stay like that.

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