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  • Anxiety/hypochondria



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    Old 03-05-2017, 10:53 PM   #1
    issues90
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    Anxiety/hypochondria

    Ive never posted in a forum before, hoping it will give me a sense of relief, and release from the constant struggle.

    Since experiencing my first anxiety attack at 17, I for the better part of my life have been consumed with fear, mostly of death or having some illness that is essentially going to be the end. Seems kind of selfish, but for reasons i dont understand yet i cannot shake the feeling.

    It started with obsessing over my heart health. Even after experiencing several panic attacks, I was not convinced my heart was healthy. Ive had Ekgs, dozens, cardiac panels, imaging tests, holter monitors, everything you can think of, still was scared. I would initially feel better after going to hospital and being reassured, but that was short lived and eventually i would sink back into constant worry, scanning my body for any little problem.

    Well fast forward to now, ten years later, I had a bout of mono and iritis which has completely set my health anxiety into overdrive. One day im convinced i have a brain tumor from a head.ache, or lymphoma from a swollen gland or pain in neck, or some kind of vascular disease. Im always concocting ways i could be on the verge of dying and need immediate help.

    Ive wasted so much of my life researching for problems I could have or may develop, its sickening, no pun. I find no pleasure in any activity . I spend every waking moment consumed with thoughts of dying or having an illness the doctors cannot find.

    Ive had dozens of tests done this past yesr trying to find out what is going on, they all came back normal. The doctors are tired of seeing me come in, which I can understand. I guess i just need to give up this fight.

    I have two kids, this is sad to say but i feel like im neglecting them because of my constant worry with health issues. I can't think of any single moment I have enjoyed with them, without panic running in the background about illness.I am pathetic, really. They deserve so much better.

    Why cant i let this go? Its not worth living a life in constant fear, but i cant seem to give up this obsession with death and sickness.

    I dont know how much of my symptoms are real, and how many of them my mind creates, psychosomatic.

    I feel hopeless, I dont think i can change my way of thinking and the way I feel. Would not wish this on anybody. I hope my kids do not inherit this curse.

    Last edited by issues90; 03-05-2017 at 11:01 PM.

     
    The following 3 users give hugs of support to: issues90
    Kaiz3r (03-08-2017),movielover40 (03-08-2017),Porty (03-24-2017)
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    Old 03-08-2017, 04:51 AM   #2
    Kaiz3r
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    Re: Anxiety/hypochondria

    I know how you feel. I have the same issue. im 30 and i started with this **** at 17. I strongly recommend psicotherapy. It's help me a lot. Well, in my case, the fear of death dont disappear at all but i learned that a headache is just a headache, or a pain chest is just pain chest. Not all is catastrophyc.

     
    Old 03-08-2017, 05:07 AM   #3
    issues90
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    Re: Anxiety/hypochondria

    Im sorry you struggle with this too. I am currently trying to find a better therapist the guy i have now doesn't seem to help me at all.

     
    Old 03-08-2017, 05:15 AM   #4
    Kaiz3r
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    Re: Anxiety/hypochondria

    correct. Try different kind of therapists, in my case works Gestalt Therapy. Dont fear to change therapist many times until you find the right one.

     
    Old 03-24-2017, 04:46 PM   #5
    Porty
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    Re: Anxiety/hypochondria

    I think this can be one of the worst parts of dealing with anxiety. The array of symptoms it can cause is so vast, and only expands as the worry increases, which it naturally does due to the symptoms worsening. It's a terrible, self-perpetuating cycle. I know you said you don't enjoy any activities, but I would recommend experimenting around. I would try to find what distracts you from your health anxiety the most. And certainly see a good therapist. Talking through these issues one-on-one can be the most helpful thing. Once you relieve some of the worry, the symptoms will decrease, and the cycle will slowly but surely reverse you back to your normal self again. I hope this was helpful.

     
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