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  • Hate having a lot of people over ... even family



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    Old 07-07-2017, 09:31 AM   #1
    liz8100
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    Hate having a lot of people over ... even family

    Ok so I was just on vacation. Had a good time, it was nice and so forth. Now I'm home and I want to be able to relax and recuperate and just have some peace and quiet. Not too much to ask, I don't think! Then my mom decides to bring back some kids with us to stay with us. Like, we haven't seen them a lot recently! Then those kids are coming over, staying with us and my sister and brother-in-law also come over a whole bunch of times, as if they live here and don't have a house of their own. Now it's a crowded house every time they get here and I hate it. I hate having a lot of people over, especially when I just got home from vacation. My sister and her family were getting ready to go to the beach and my brother-in-law is filling up the cooler with ice...as if he has no ice from his own home and he does! Those people come in, filling up our fridge with food as if they have no fridge of their own. Even if they ran out of room in the fridge, they get more and more food and use our fridge so they don't care. Doesn't anyone ever think about anything but food these days? My family has no boundaries at all and no respect for anyone's privacy or desire to have some peace and quiet. I have tried talking about this in the past to them but it's like talking to a wall. They don't care. They care about coming over to the house, stuffing extra food in our house, getting stuff from our house that they can get from their own house. What's the point of having your own home if you're going to use someone's home for everything? I have to wait til late at night to use the bathroom to get ready for bed because everyone else is getting their baths and so forth. I hate it when my mom invite guests here, even if they're family, especially when I just got home from vacation. Clearly, she can't live with a peaceful house and and always gotta have people over 24/7. I can't say anything about it because again, it's like talking to a brick wall and my feelings are not considered or respected all. Yes, I am old enough to live on my own but as of now, I just finished college and can't yet afford a place of my own but I don't want to wait 5-10 years before I earn enough. I waited too long already to get a place of my own. I feel like I'm losing my mind when these people come over with kids yelling and running around the house and people doing whatever they feel like doing in other people's houses like the bathrooms and the fridge as if they don't have a house of their own. How would they like it if I went over to their house and started eating all their food, stuffing their fridge with all kinds of food to take up a bunch of room and using their bathroom at night for long periods of time so they can wait forever to go to bed? How would they like it if I went over and made a bunch of noise when they're trying to rest like watch TV and so forth? How would my mother like it if I did invite a bunch of guests around and let them start interfering with her life? The whole thing gives me so much anxiety.

     
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    Old 07-07-2017, 02:53 PM   #2
    Dragonfly Wings
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    Re: Hate having a lot of people over ... even family

    Sorry to hear you're over anxious about your house guests! It can be a little overwhelming but I don't think they mean any harm. I know myself (and I'm 34 years old, married 15yrs but together for 17yrs with 3 children of my own), I still go to my parents home and behave as though I live there. If I can't feel that comfortable in my own parents home than I would find that quite sad

    Unfortunately the only way to resolve this is to get your own home. Since this is such a sore spot for you it might be good time to start saving and planning towards that goal of your own freedom. Our house was very much like yours *7 children in the family so we were all always visiting*. I loved it though, I adore being around family and I do hope my children return home like this once they're adults too. I did leave home at 18yrs old with my now husband to be closer to University.

    All the best! I hope you find peace!
    DW.

    Last edited by Dragonfly Wings; 07-07-2017 at 02:54 PM.

     
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