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  • I donít feel love anymore since anxiety attack for my boyfriend.

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    Old 01-05-2018, 05:00 AM   #1
    Join Date: Jan 2018
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    ubabay HB User
    I donít feel love anymore since anxiety attack for my boyfriend.

    I woke up super early this morning due to stress and I have no idea what to do. I wish I had some advice or something that would put me in a positive direction.

    Iíve been dating my current boyfriend for about 8 months now and itís been nothing but pure happiness. Weíve known each other since childhood and when we started dating I remember thinking to myself ďfinally, heís the one Iím meant to be with.Ē And everything felt whole and good. He was everything I could have ever wanted: kind, smart, adventurous, outgoing, generous, and we share so many interests and a sense of humor making us fall even more in love. We always find little coincidences about ourselves that make all the more sense that we are with each other because everything feels like itís meant to be!

    Things got serious with him super fast and we made out and everything the first chance we got when we were alone. We ended up first having sex about 5-6 months in while Iím away at college. Yes, we are currently in the middle of a long distance relationship while I start college and while he gets ready to transfer to the school I am currently attending ( he was already planning on going and itís not because of me).

    Three weeks ago we got in a fight over something ridiculous and I couldnít seem to get over it. I eventually did but still felt super terrible afterwards. Given, I was in the middle of some rough things going on with school: grades were falling a bit due to stress, I was coming off of my birth control, and final exams were just about to begin. The fight with my boyfriend didnít help that much either but we handled it like do any other argument (which we donít have that much).

    Since then, Iíve been feeling off and more anxious. Iíve had anxiety attacks since I was very little so this feeling is familiar (used to freak out over that I didnít ever go to school on Mondays, threw up when anxious, got nervous when boys asked me on dates, could never eat in restaurants or go to movie theaters because of anxiety,). Iíve been suffering with anxiety my whole life.

    Since this whole attack happened, Iíve been second guessing every single feeling Iíve ever felt for my boyfriend: did I ever mean it when I said I love him, could I be happier with someone else, is this what Iím supposed to be feeling, is he the right guy, do I still like his personality, do I still find him attractive, what would happen if we broke up, should I dump him, why do I sometimes laugh at his jokes and why do I sometimes not, why do I sometimes not want to see him and why do sometimes feel a huge urge to be with him, etc. these thoughts cloud my mind every single day and I get scared that they are true. They cause me to feel nothing with my boyfriend when Iím with him. They cause me to burst out in tears when we watch movies together. They cause me to want to lay in bed and stress over it until it somehow magically goes away. I donít know what to do except worry and stress and worry some more.

    I do have fun with him and when heís with me itís like I can be my complete self and he can be himself too. I told him all about my issue and heís been nothing but supportive and encouraging to me. He is truly the sweetest guy Iíve ever met and because of my anxiety itís made me feel super guilty.

    I keep looking up things on the internet like what if I just fell out of love or what if I never really did love him and it was just lust or what if I can do better or what if I never wanted to commit and never actually felt love and now itís all my true feelings coming out?

    Every day I feel scared and shaky and alone. One of the days I spoke to my boyfriend about it and he mentioned us breaking up and how it would make me fell then. I immediately bursted into tears and sadness when he mentioned it. I feel like I canít talk to my family about it because theyíll just tell me to end things and thatís not what I want to hear, but then again what if it is and Iím just hiding the fact that we need to break up?

    I donít know what to do and his whole situation feels like a bad dream I need to wake up from. I want to be my old happy self again. When I got into this relationship I was as confident as ever with myself. I was happy and extremely outgoing. Getting into the relationship only made me feel more and more good. Over this summer it still felt good (we started dating in May). The thought of us not dating physically hurt me and I hated thinking about it. So what is happening to me???

    Thank you and please respond

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    Old 01-05-2018, 10:35 AM   #2
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    Re: I donít feel love anymore since anxiety attack for my boyfriend.

    Sounds like the perveived ideal situation, expectations and reality have collided.
    You are growing and learning about yourself and your boyfriend...process of functioning within a relationship. You are forced into making decisions, questioning, and not liking the feeling it's created.

    Do you have a counsellor within the school you can talk to? Relationships and the high demands in school are a heavy load.

    Hang tough.....i suspect discussion and support within your environment will help. You won't feel isolated and as distressed. Once you understand what's going on in the cognitive level, you will hopefully be able to intervene with reactions and thoughts that have you more relaxed.

    Working through it is a good thing. Try not to overjustify and question your past decisions and experience in the state of anxiety you're in. The conclusions will be skewed and you may later regret them.

    It's all a matter of perspective!
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