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473 07-27-2018 12:48 AM

Social issues
Iím not sure what to call it, I donít have anxiety but itís more of wanting interactions with people then realizing i want to be alone... but i donít like to be alone. I donít party or have much of a life other than working & when i feel like im being too vocal or expressive i will stop interaction completely thus making those around me feel like i have no desire to talk to them.

MSNik 07-27-2018 09:54 AM

Re: Social issues
This sounds more like a self esteem issue- like maybe you aren't sure that people want to hear what you have to say or you don't feel like what you want to say will resonate with the people you are speaking to.

Do you have any close friends? Someone you can ask about how you come across? Sometimes, hearing what others think is hard...but it also helps us learn how to better position ourselves.

You could talk to a therapist about could stem from somewhere that you need to uncover.

yayagirl 07-27-2018 10:02 AM

Re: Social issues
Dear 473,

Anxiety usually comes from wanting something we don't yet have, such as trusting others to care about you. It seems that you may have social anxiety from not being sure how to have normal interaction with others. As a child I felt very isolated and I used to remain silent because I was not sure anyone cared.I was very awkward, socially.

As I observed others, I found out that when we learn to listen and show interest in what others are saying, everyone likes people to show that they care. We like that too, but we cannot make anyone care.

Guess what, we are not responsible to 'make' anyone care for us. We are only responsible for whether or not we care about others. They either have an interest in getting to know us or they do not. That is normal. However, being interested in others and showing we care about others makes us more interesting to be with.

Just be kind and show an interest when you do have interest, and don't be concerned when others don't show interest in you. That is about them. It says [U]nothing[/U] about your value as a person.

Likewise, give people space; do not latch on to those who show they care what you have to say. Communication should just be communication. It doesn't imply any kind of commitment. A commitment has to be agreed upon by both people and needs to come from the heart. You will know when that happens because you will be able to see that you didn't make it happen.

Relax and enjoy your time alone and your time with others.

Frank Furter 11-08-2018 07:25 PM

Re: Social issues
Sounds like Social Anxiety Disorder. I have it. It's very common. I'm anxious around others, hate small talk, prefer to be alone, etc. There's all kinds of help available. Plenty of books and information online also.

Good luck.

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