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  • I cant deal with this anymore

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    Old 06-05-2004, 10:02 PM   #1
    Join Date: May 2004
    Posts: 66
    sabrinarose HB User
    I cant deal with this anymore

    Lately,Ive felt so weird,Im starting to think Im losing my mind or something because what I feel is so hard to describe to other people.I m hoping someone on here knows what I mean and can help me out.

    Heres my story.Im not working right now and Iam not going to school.I graduated from high school last year and havent done any college yet.I absolutely cannot find a job in my town and I have experience.I stay at home alot because lately I feel like I just dont want to be with friends,when they ask me to go hang out,I just DONT feel like it and thats weird cuz I love my friends but I almost feel like theres an invisible wall thats stopping me from being happy with my friends anymore,when I DO go with them,I just want to go back home,its not that their not fun but I cant seem to concentrate at all anymore so its hard to keep up with them.

    I cant drink alcohol at all anymore,I feel like if I take a drink,Ill be too messed up and then Ill just want to be sober again,I havent drank and felt drunk in over two years.

    My Mom isnt doing well at all,she cant find work and she has lots of kids to support.My brother isnt working (hes older than me) and he didnt graduate from high school,my other brother is mean and is cruel to my mom.It seems like home life is just so hard lately,I cant even relax at home,I always feel like I have to be doing something but then when I do it,I feel weird.Im not like this all the time,sometimes I'll go with my friends and be absolutely fine but its like I feel like I cant breathe and sometimes,when Im a passenger in a car and we have to stop at a stop sign or something,I get so anxious and jittery,I cant describe it.

    I dont know whats happeneing to me.Im on ortho try cyclen and I was wondering if that may have something to do with it?It just seems like Im "stuck".I used to be so full of life and couldnt wait to get out there and live my life,now Im afraid of it all.I get scared about the weirdest stuff,Im not sure the name for it but I think its hypocondriac? I always think that Im sick and that Im going to die.Ill have a panic attack and think its a heart attack,Ill get a sore leg and think its a blood clot.I was never like this at all before and I hate feeling like this.

    Sometimes when I talk to people its really hard for me to concentrate on them and I have to listen extrememly hard to what theyre saying.Its like I cant "grasp" things.I was a straight A,intelligent,intellectual person and now Iam this,its getting harder and harder to deal with.Is this depression? Im afraid that it might be and Im so scared of medication,I dont want to be a some one whos dependant on pills.

    Can anyone help me?

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    Old 06-06-2004, 08:20 AM   #2
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    tgrose's Avatar
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    Re: I cant deal with this anymore

    Hi there. I think you really need to see a doctor for your anxiety symptoms. With all the stressful situations that you describe, it sounds like you might have generalized anxiety and/or panic disorder. Don't be afraid of medications. With therapy and meds, most people deal with their anxiety and panic very well. The thing is, it's hard to get out of your situation when you can't deal with things. So then it just escalates into something bigger, and it's a vicious cycle. You need to see a doctor and get on some meds. Then, when you start to feel normal again, you can decide what to do.

    When I was just 16 my mother suddenly died 2 weeks before my Senior year of high-school started. Needless to say, it was a terrible year for me. You have lots of issues to deal with, and going away to school could help so much. You don't have to decide on a major right away. Just get there and start going to classes again. It will really help.

    Good luck

    Old 06-06-2004, 09:44 AM   #3
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    Re: I cant deal with this anymore

    Hi Sabrina,

    it sounds like stress and anxiety, can you encourage the nasty brother to leave home?
    your birth control med may be causing some problems ask the pharmacist, he will have a list of side effects

    otherwise everything mentioned can be caused by stress and anxiety, learn to relax and to calm yourself, when out with friends, relax and dont try so hard

    when you get jittery or anxious, relax and breathe deep and slow, this always helps

    long walks always relax and calm people

    Old 06-06-2004, 11:40 AM   #4
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    Post Re: I cant deal with this anymore

    In my opinion, I believe what you are describing is depression and anxiety, which often go together. PLEASE DO NOT be scared to go on medicine. You are hearing this from someone that just HATES meds ... i would rather have a headache then take meds ... I am bad with stuff like that!! However I am going through what you described. I am on medicine for depression and it helps. You do not have to feel the way you do ... there is help out there. I am also on meds for anxiety .. I have the panic attacks and because of the meds I just dont have to deal with it anymore -- I still have to be strong and be in control, the pills arent magic or anything, but they help! I hope that you talk to someone like a psych dr soon ... you really wont regret it!! There are alot of people that are going through this --- as you can see on the boards here -- we understand, and we are here for you! Please keep in touch!

    Old 06-07-2004, 06:04 AM   #5
    Join Date: Oct 2003
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    mouse62 HB User
    Re: I cant deal with this anymore

    What you are going through seems pretty normal (although difficult and painful) for where you are in life. I was straight-A, high-expectation person too in my early 20s and then when things went "on hold," I started feeling stuck and then suffered from depression and anxiety.

    First you have to convince yourself that you are not stuck. Great success can be in your future, and dealing with your current unemployment and other difficulties can maybe give you coping abilities that you might need again in the future.

    It's up to you as to whether or not to take medication. I didn't until I was 31 years old (Prozac), and, looking back, I think that was my path to follow. But just therapy without medication would be great for you. If you go to college/university, you should be able to get it free as a student. Just don't stay with a therapist if you feel very uncomfortable with them.

    Old 06-07-2004, 03:34 PM   #6
    Join Date: May 2004
    Posts: 66
    sabrinarose HB User
    Re: I cant deal with this anymore

    Thank you all for your replies....

    I made an appointment with a counsellor and Iam looking forward to it.It seems like when Im not doing anything (working or going to school) I get depressed and get anxiety,it sucks but I know its not forever.

    I had a great talk with my boyfriend last night and that felt great to get things off my shoulders.Hes very supportive and I know I can always talk to him when I need to.

    Its really good to know that Im not alone out there and that Im not going nuts.I read somewhere that if you think that your going crazy,then you are not,because thinking you are crazy means that you are in touch with reality,wheras ppl who ARE crazy think they are the sane ones and that everyone else is crazy.

    Anyways,I also started mood gym on line and thats really great for cognitive behavioral therapy so Im glad I found that.

    Thanks again

    Old 06-09-2004, 05:23 AM   #7
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    Re: I cant deal with this anymore

    I've found meditation an enormous help for my anxiety. Buy a book and a couple of CDs with guided meditations on and you'll be amazed how quickly you can calm down.

    Old 06-10-2004, 11:07 AM   #8
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    Re: I cant deal with this anymore

    I have recently been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I have know all along that something was wrong and I have been diagnosed with every disorder they could come up with. There are wonderful informational websites out there on Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). You would be doing your self a favor to do some research. Something else to consider is that I was diagnosed with depression. It was only recently that I came to realize that the depression (loss of motivation, not enjoying things that used to bring you pleasure, feeling of sadness, hopelessness, isolating yourself from friends and family, feeling alone-even when people are around, lack of concentration ect.) was from the GAD. When the anxiety got too great and I could not face it, I went into a depression. One site that I read said that the anxiety escalates until something powerful breaks it up. It also said that escape seems impossible, but essential. Don't give up. There are medications out there that are not addicting and if you are patient you and a good doctor will be able to find the right combination.

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