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bshaw96 10-12-2004 02:43 PM

After researching this, it is definitely me. That is the worst part of my anxiety/panic attacks. Ive never been able to explain it to anyone without sounding crazy. Its like I get locked out of my life, and Im watching it but not in it. But Im fully aware something is wrong and the more I try to put myself "back in my life" the worse it and my panic gets. When Im in a calmer state, it goes away. It is such a horrifying experience. It goes beyond anxiety. I truly feel Im going crazy when it happens and Ive lost touch with sanity. Anyone else experience this and how do you cope????

Yommy 10-12-2004 02:49 PM

Re: Derealization/Depersonalization
Hi BShaw!

I experience this all the time. Sometimes it is horrible! Sometimes, I prefer it. That is, when I'm in a situation I know I cannot mentally handle, I prefer to not feel like it's real or I'm real. I do know a little bit about it, but not enough to give much advice. Sorry! I just wanted to add a question to your post, if that's ok. I was just wondering if you can derealize/depersonalize from a situation that has happened in the past. Sometimes, when I'm thinking about some of the things I've been through, they don't seem real. It almost seems like a dream I had or a movie I watched instead of my real life. When I'm telling people (i.e. my husband or therapists) about some of the things I've been through, it almost feels like I'm lying because it seems so unreal. Do you ever experience that, too? Sorry to butt in on your post, just thought it was related, please forgive me.

Hundtoft :wave:

Lilolill 10-13-2004 12:16 AM

Re: Derealization/Depersonalization
Hi there!

What initially started your panic attacks?
I had been getting DP/DR attacks until 2 months ago. I know the root cause of mine and went to see a kinesiologist to be "cleared" That was 2 months ago and I havent had an attack since. Good luck in your quest.

TWISTED II 10-13-2004 12:55 AM

Re: Derealization/Depersonalization
i remember first getting anxiety, and explaing this as "being dizzy" then i came to the boards and read about depersonalization and was almost happy, cuz this was EXACTLY what i was feeling. i was hypnotized last year, and from that day on, i have NEVER had a single episode of even minor depersonalization. knock on wood, thank god!

jeffster 10-13-2004 01:58 AM

Re: Derealization/Depersonalization
This was my major symptom too. I couldn't explain it to anyone including docs, the only way I could put it was "dizziness" or "spaced out". It really felt to me like I had just smoked too much weed all the time. I too thought I was losing my mind or going crazy. After I figured out it probably was anxiety, I went on effexor and the depersonalization/derealization has disappeared completely. I still have some anxiety sometimes, but the depersonalization/derealization has never resurfaced. I'm going to try CBT soon, and maybe visit a hypnotherapist as well.

Good luck,


Josh McGrath 10-13-2004 09:48 PM

Re: Derealization/Depersonalization
I am like you. The derealization sets my PA off. Wasn't feeling like I was dieing like other suffers of PA's feel. Felt like I wa slosing my mind.

I dont think I have that problem anymore. I am on Welbutrin. But it went away, I think at least it went away, a few weeks ago. I was on no meds then either.

I want to start CBT soon also

Lilolill 10-13-2004 10:36 PM

Re: Derealization/Depersonalization
Mine was a lot more than feeling dizzy, it was as if I was kicked out of this reality as we know it and into some other really dark scary place, sound vibration changed, vision changed, even the cat looked like some really sinister figure, I just wanted to run and get away from it. The first and most severe one, I had a job even feeling the ground underneath me, I kept seeing a red swirling pattern and just could not seem to communicate with anyone to get me out of it, even though I was screaming at the top of my lungs. The subsequent attacks haven't been as long or severe in duration, but come at night in the dark, I now sleep with a light on as dark is the trigger. Seriously though kinesiology really helped me with the attacks and Valerian for anxiety at night. If you go on medication, you will either become dependant on it or when you come off it will still be there. Good luck, you are master of your own destiny, treat it wisely.

Graciecat 10-14-2004 07:05 AM

Re: Derealization/Depersonalization
[QUOTE=Lilolill]If you go on medication, you will either become dependant on it or when you come off it will still be there. Good luck, you are master of your own destiny, treat it wisely.[/QUOTE]

I have to respectfully disagree with that statement.
Yes, it is true that 'some' people will become dependent on medication, but not everyone...I didn't and there are several other people on these boards that didn't.
And it is true that the panic and anxiety may come back for 'some' people, but it doesn't happen to everyone, it didn't happen to me and it hasn't happend to others that post on this board.
I took medication every day for several years, I no longer take it and I haven't had a panic attack in ages, I feel great.

Some people don't want to take medication and that's fine, because it's a personal choice that everyone needs to make for themselves.
But for others like me, who tired everything...therapy, CBT, natural remedies...and none of it worked and then go on medication, that's fine too because like I said it's a personal choice that we all need to make for ourselves.

Everyone is different what works for one person won't work for everyone.

Guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on this. :)

Kickle 10-14-2004 09:29 AM

Re: Derealization/Depersonalization
Don't know if this is the same but I always called it "an out of body experience". It's like your on the outside watching your life go on without you.

TWISTED II 10-14-2004 08:48 PM

Re: Derealization/Depersonalization
thats exactly what everyones talking about :)

karigirl 10-14-2004 10:01 PM

Re: Derealization/Depersonalization
Im trying to fit my situation into some title..i know i have severe anxiety..but in the past month or two its been so different. I feel like im living in a world inside my mind . I do things normally so other people dont notice, but inside my mind everything seems weird to me, and i cant figure out what life is...i freak myself out with thoughts and that leads to me panicking..but i never show it.
these thoughts are crazy, and my dreams are crazy too. sometimes ill snap back into reality and everything is "normal" again for a while (few hours)..but then i start thinking about what life is and its too much for my brain to handle.
am i crazy?

karigirl 10-14-2004 10:05 PM

Re: Derealization/Depersonalization
Id also like to add that Im dizzy and spaced out every day

Kimpossible 10-15-2004 02:01 AM

Re: Derealization/Depersonalization
This is me! Those are 2 perfect words to explain what I used to experience when I was a small child, but I could never tell anyone because I didn't even know what was happening and I remember that I was always alone when it would happen and I would just stand there and it would pass and then I would just block it out like it didn't happen and go run and play or something.

I never really linked those episodes from childhood to my Xanax addiction and the panic attacks I started having at 19 till I now!
Wow! It's so strange how when you're a kid you can survive almost anything by just having to. You can't pop a pill or drink or smoke or go to therapy, but as you get older it all just becomes normal for a doctor to medicate or to self medicate in order to cope with life.
I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm new so I'll say HI! and go read more. It's good to know there are people out there who have felt the same thing and we are NOT all crazy!

TWISTED II 10-15-2004 09:35 AM

Re: Derealization/Depersonalization
yup, when i was a little kid i used to have depersonalization also. i thought it was cool, i used to want to get it! i always would say "whoa, i can't believe i'm here." and get all spacy and weird. then it would pass and i would run and do whatever. no problem. seems like the more i learnd about the body and about health, the worse i am, lol. but it is funny that as a kid, i would like it, but before i was hypnotized, that feeling would send me running for the ER. ER = :nono: thats what i've learned, lol. by the time the Dr even got to me, the PA passed and i was paying crazy money for nothing. i wish i was a kid again.

sunshine8790 10-17-2004 09:35 PM

Re: Derealization/Depersonalization
I experience this to a great deal, but I thought it was neurological so i've had eegs done, mris, cat scans only to find i'm just assuming its the anxiety, i feel real shaky inside and out of it, especially in public places with alot of people around.

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